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Having A Hard Time Emotionally



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I am really having a hard time emotionally tonight. I keep crying and crying. I am 6 days post op and it's like I am a drug addict going through a rehab detox. I can't believe I let myself become so emotionally addicted to food. I can't believe I am actually crying because I want to eat. This is ridiculous. I wish I could fast forward a couple months and get through this hard part and know that everything is gonna be alright. I miss chewing food. I miss the taste. I miss the comfort of eating in front of the tv with my family. I miss macaroni and cheese, I miss sausage, I miss spaghetti, I miss everything I use to love about food. And thou I may feel pathetic now, I know somewhere in my new future I will have better things to love about life. But right now my vision is being blurred and my comfort zone is no where to be found. I'm just hurting. :'(

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I'm sorry you're having such a tough time right now! I fear experiencing this...but I know there's nothing that can be done to avoid it...food has been such a big part of our lives, it's bound to be traumatizing when it's abruptly taken away from us. Good news is, you won't be on your current diet forever. You'll get to chew soon! Although it'll be only a small fraction of what you could before, hell, I'll take it. Hang in there!! I'll be on your side of the bench soon.

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Hang in there! I haven't had my surgery yet but I'm sure I will go through the same feelings. A friend of mine has gone through the surgery - as well as many other on this site - and she assures me that before long you will be feeling better - especially when you are finished with your liquids only portion. You can do it!! :) Get a good night's sleep - everything is always better in the morning.

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(((((ebthompson2010)))))

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I'm also 6 days and today is the first day that I've started to think about real food...I am bummed I've got to wait another week to even get to the mushies. This huge change in our lives is super emotional and the fact that we have now taken away the thing we took comfort in - food! I just started reading a book - Beyond the Refrigerator...it's all about the emotional part and the reason we got to where we are/were with food...all comes from the inside; what we really think of ourselves, self respect (or lack thereof), etc. Also another REALLY good book is Women food and God...this changed my entire perspective.

I totally know what you're saying....you know you are down and the time will pass...I hope reading these books or others can shift your frame of mind :) and maybe the reading will also take up some time!...ive never had so much time on my hands...week off work, kids out of town...I've had to be creative today in being "busy" :)

I hope this helps a little :). You'll get through it and in the end be so proud of yourself for fighting through it!

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It sounds like you need a big hug right now. The first couple of weeks are the hardest. I felt exactly like you did. The mourning period over food would be a lot easier if you could actually EAT something (even something good for you), but as you know, you can't because your stomach is healing. It would also be a lot easier if hormones weren't getting all thrown off balance, which is also normal. It really does get A LOT better. I wished I could have fast forwarded to a time when I would be feeling better and not missing my favorite foods so much. Before you know it, that time will be here. Nick's mom is right, a good night sleep will do you wonders. I hope you feel better soon. We are all here for you when you need a pep talk!!

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I know how you feel - until today I have not even really thought about food. I actually sat at a table with my hubby in Mexico while he ate chips and salsa and a chicken taco....I seriously did not even have a twinge of wanting it and mexican is my fav (especially authentic).

But today, its like every food commercial that comes on I am thinking about how good it would taste and wondering if I will ever be able to eat it again :wacko: Then, I force myself to look away and do something completely different. I have found that distracting myself with a book, the internet, a hobby, playing a game with my kids, etc. honestly it sounds really simple and may not work for everyone, but before I know it hours have gone by and I have forgotten all about the food and realize Im not even hungry.

This time will pass for us, before we know it we will be trying new foods almost for the first time as our tastes may have changed and as we are losing.....girl, we wont care. Take care :)

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Hi - I'm 9 days post-op and unfelt exactly the same way. I really felt like an addict in the first few days of the toughest rehab imaginable. All iI could think of was a crunchy bagel with cream cheese and tomatoes - I had to keep reminding myself that those Bagels are what landed me in this situation to begin with.

Nothing got rid of those feelings (except time) until I would say yesterday and today - feeling a lot less of the cravings and almost no sadness now.

But one thing I did do, was write down all the non-food related activities I can't eat to get back into after I'm feeling better and have some good weight loss: playing volleyball with my daughter (shes's 12), playing tennis with my nephews, walking without feeling like there's pieces of cut glass in my feet, enjoying walking around and taking to people at parties instead of trying to find a comfortable chair to just sit and eat. Etc, etc...

When I was reallyiserable mentally I looked at that list and realized how those activities were so much more important to me than the food that used to give me happiness and comfort. I decises that I dont want to be a slave to food anymore - I want food to work for me by making me healthy enough to do all these other things again...

Anyway - sorry for the long-winded response. Just wanted you to know that you are far from alone in these feelings, and that they do get better (and I'm only 3 days further out than you are).... Sending you a hug! Hang in there! :0)

-Sarah

Sent from my iPhone using VST

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Sorry for all the typos in my earlier reply! It's hard typing so much via cell phone! :0)!

Sent from my iPhone using VST

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It's OK to grieve a bit, but you just need to know that it isn't forever. You won't always have to miss those foods, but there are things that you've struggled to do or couldn't do, and you are going to be able to say goodbye to those struggles forever.

Like Sarah said, I encourage you to make a list. In addition to Sarah's list of things you can't wait to do, I suggest you write a list of things you never want to do again. The things that you will be saying goodbye to permanently -- not being able to cross your legs, not being able to walk a flight of stairs without heavy breathing, etc.

It will help give you perspective. Just know that what you are feeling isn't wrong. I was on the liquid diet longer than anyone it seemed, and I missed chewing so much! But I'm chewing again, and I don't miss fitting into size 22 jeans.

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Yesterday I was 6 days out & oh my goodness this was me. I scoured this site all day looking for threads that showed me others went through the same thing. I talked with a friend today that had the sleeve a year ago & she said this was normal. She said to try to keep yourself busy & I did today & had a much better day. What she said made sense to me. First-you will mourn things that were normal to you. I miss gulping-especially in 100+ degree heat. :) Second-everyday gets easier. And third-you just had surgery. Any major surgery is going to mess with your emotions, this surgery, having a baby, etc. Give yourself time to heal & take each day one at a time.

Those are the things she told me & they helped me see a bit clearer today. I have to say-seeing your post tonight helped me because it affirmed what I was feeling yesterday. The psychological part of this journey maybe the hardest part of all!

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I felt the exact same way you are feeling in the beginning. I am alittle over 4 months out now and I promise you that those feelings will pass. I felt that way for the first couple of weeks. Just hang in there and know its all part of the process.

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Oh yeah did I feel like that plus some.I actually burst out crying when my husband had a turkey burger ( at about day 6). Man the tears came sliding down. I'm at day 45 and although it does get a bit better emotionally ....I still have these up and downs. Not as harsh, but I do. We have to have a somewhat of a funeral for how we used to be able to eat. We have to say our goodbye's....I don't think we'll ever "get over it". But it will get better. As my Dr. says right now your in an emotional storm....hang it there honey"! Ride it out sista!

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I am really having a hard time emotionally tonight. I keep crying and crying. I am 6 days post op and it's like I am a drug addict going through a rehab detox. I can't believe I let myself become so emotionally addicted to food. I can't believe I am actually crying because I want to eat. This is ridiculous. I wish I could fast forward a couple months and get through this hard part and know that everything is gonna be alright. I miss chewing food. I miss the taste. I miss the comfort of eating in front of the tv with my family. I miss macaroni and cheese' date=' I miss sausage, I miss spaghetti, I miss everything I use to love about food. And thou I may feel pathetic now, I know somewhere in my new future I will have better things to love about life. But right now my vision is being blurred and my comfort zone is no where to be found. I'm just hurting. :'([/quote']

It does get easier. The first week is very hard, especially since you are sore and recovering. It is so hard, but you can do it!!!! :-)

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
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