I am new to this site but so far like what i see.I am 278 pounds right now.I am a diabetic and have high blood pressure. I am 27 years old married and have two children. My husband says in taking the easy way out in my decision to be sleeved and has made it perfectly clear that he does not support me in any shape or fashion not only will this help my self esteem but i also have many health problems.I really need a support system right now any suggestions?

Statistically speaking, it's the only way out. Studies show most people who lose their weight through diet and exercise alone gain it back and then some. The odds would not be in your favor trying it any other way. Perhaps you should google some of the many reports that show it's almost hopeless for obese people to lose weight on their own and keep it off. Maybe he'll come around? A little?

Maybe he'll come around? A little?

I've been married for a long time., and I think it takes men a long time to get on board with things that scare them....IMO. He just might be really worried about complications and you being thinner.

(Thats why you come HERE... )

Edited July 27, 201213 yr by ALIGAYLE

Of course, maybe once you lose some weight and can start doing some freaky deaky pretzel moves, he'll come around.

I am new to this site but so far like what i see.I am 278 pounds right now.I am a diabetic and have high blood pressure. I am 27 years old married and have two children. My husband says in taking the easy way out in my decision to be sleeved and has made it perfectly clear that he does not support me in any shape or fashion not only will this help my self esteem but i also have many health problems.I really need a support system right now any suggestions?

Thats really sad that he doesn't support you Im so sorry you have to go through that. I am also 27, with sleep apnea and 255lbs. I have been on here just a few days and the support is amazing! If you have no one else to support you, meet people here and I think that will help a bunch!!

Apparently your husband is not sympathetic to your struggles. You apparently need this surgery as your health will continue to go downhill if you do not do something about it. You pretty much need to be in survival mode. I would go on with the process, hopefully your husband will change his mind during the process. Please don't think you don't have support because you have us. Also go to support groups an you confide in a close friend or family member?? Ultimately it is your body and your decision, there are going to people who just have negative views on wls. Let's hope once your husband sees the results of the procedure along with the hard work you put in, let's hope that will turn him over to our side. Good luck and don't be discouraged.

Even though your husband isn't on board right now, I'm sure if he understood the benefits & the procedure he might come around. This isn't an "easy way out", the easy way is doing nothing. Good luck, you will find tons of support on this website.

I am new to this site but so far like what i see.I am 278 pounds right now.I am a diabetic and have high blood pressure. I am 27 years old married and have two children. My husband says in taking the easy way out in my decision to be sleeved and has made it perfectly clear that he does not support me in any shape or fashion not only will this help my self esteem but i also have many health problems.I really need a support system right now any suggestions?

Look, I'm married too and I'm not trying to start anything in your house tonight but I have to question why a husband with an ill wife (because HBP and Diabetes are illnesses) would object to her seeking out a procedure that has a high success rate with curing those illnesses.

I'm certain he doesn't live in a vaccuum and has heard all of the statistics about the life expenctancy of those who have illnesses such as yours.

Complications from surgery? Maybe. Every surgery has complications.

I'll stop there but I'm sure most people can figure out which avenue I'm on....

It is sad to hear when a husband is nonsupportive. Have you done your intial consult? Is he willing to go with you? Maybe he is scared of the unknown? Is your husband a healthy weight?

My husband told me I got the surgery because I was "too lazy to lose the weight normally". We're now in the middle of a divorce.

You've got to do this for you - and your kids. You want to be around for them! If he comes around, great. If he doesn't, you still need to make the right decision for YOUR health.

I don't know if your husband will go to a bariatric support group with you but if he will, you should try this. When he hears the stories and listen to other people, it may help him realize that 1) this is NOT, I repeat NOT an easy way out. You have to work you A$$ off still to make this work and 2) what a better quality of life you will have after the surgery. Not only are you doing this for you but you are also doing is so that you can be there and healthy and present for him and kids. When people don't know or understand, they often express thier fear in the form of criticism or negativity. Best of luck! P.S. You have a great big support system here.

I just wanted to say I'm sorry you aren't getting the support you deserve from your hubby. I encourage you to continue in your journey to a healthier you and to cime here often for support. Best if much to you! I look forward to following your journey.

I love the "easy way out" speech lol Oh if they only knew!! the preop and the first 2 weeks after surgery are anything but easy!!! We still have to diet and make the lifestyle changes that will lose the weight. BUT! The way I got my husband, daughter, mom and dad on board was to take them to a free seminar Dr Nicholson in Dallas was holding to discuss the pros & cons and the complications vs the benefits. He talked about the health problems associated with staying obese and how that was riskier than the surgery (especially the sleeve) ever thought about being. It was very eye opening for my whole family and they encouraged me from that day on! As a matter of fact, my mother is now scheduled for her sleeve surgery this winter! YAY!! What was that quote from "My Big Greek Wedding"? something like.. "He may be the head of this family but I'm the neck and can make the head turn whatever way I want!" LOL! Work your magic girl =) good luck!!

So sorry to hear that your husband is not being understanding and supportive. This journey that you are on is NOT EASY at all. You have made a decision to change for the best and to become healthy. I wonder if he fears that you losing this weight will change what you feel for him. I hear it often that women who lose major weight end up losing their significant others along with the weight. This is a life change, and it's all for the good. I pray that your hubby comes around and realizes that you do need him and his support during this process. Always know that there are plenty of great people on this awesome site that will offer that support anytime. Keep your head up and I am praying for a compassionate and understanding heart for the hubby!

Sending prayers ur way!! My husband was all cool at first encouraging it and all but now that we ate very close he second guess everything I say. I'm like Wth!?!?!?!? It's insecurities I think

thanks for all the comments no matter how he feels im set gore surgery in September in scared but so excited I've been overweight.my whole life can't imagine living life without my weight being an issue.