:help: Up until a few days ago, I was moving confidently toward getting the band. I'm sure I would have started second guessing myself as the surgery date drew near, but my family was very supportive and that encouraged me to stick to my decision.

Now, my family is second guessing my decision, husband included. Maybe they doubted I would ever go through with it after I had done all the research and started going through the prerequisite tests. Now they see I'm only a footstep away.

Over the weekend, their attitudes toward my having surgery changed. We all got together for my birthday and they kept asking me, "If you have to diet and exercise when you have the band, why can't you diet and exercise without getting the band?" I lamely gave answers like lack of willpower, with the band I won't gain the weight back so easily... They were a rough crowd, and all very adept at arguing their case.

I appreciate the responses here to the emotional eating question, because it seems we all have to deal with that. Now I want to know if you attribute the band to your success or is it the smaller portions, along with exercise and complete change in attitude. Why couldn't you make these changes without the band?

I see some people have really gone heavy duty, full throttle into exercise -- gyms, jogging, the works! In that case, weight loss would happen with or without the band. How about the average person who works full-time, has a family and they are happy to be able to fit in 30 minutes to one hour of exercise on any given day? I really want to know how much the band contributed to your losing the weight.

Your answers will not only encourage or discourage me (I will appreciate your answers either way), but will help me to answer my family's questions.

Thanks.

Debi

I couldn't have succeeded without my band. I still have a long way to go, but I have never, ever gone this long or this far on my own.

I wholeheartedly, 100% without a doubt, KNOW I would not be anywhere near where I am today without the band. Not only with my weightloss, but with my comfort in the knowledge that it will continue, and that if I mess up today, I will be fine,and able to start all over tomorrow, without question. When I say mess up...it is nothing like it used to be! I simply cannot eat as much as I did pre-band. Some have said the bad things they can still eat, not me...even ice cream, that goes straight through, I cannot eat like I used to do. I have control...something I never felt I had before. It is an awesome feeling! I am not hungry 24/7. I do not have the cravings to snack all day. When I went to have my surgery done, I was taking 2 medications for high blood pressure, and one for a pre-diabetic situation. since the day of surgery, I have not taken any prescription drugs. I have lost enough weight that my HBP came down to a normal range, it is averaging 117/72 now, and my blood sugar, and my cholesterol levels have all levelled out, everyone from my PCP, to my surgeon is thrilled with the results. I FEEL better. I still have close to 70 pounds to make it to the goal weight the charts have for me, but I already consider this a success...like I say I FEEL good. I have energy to spare, I can roll over in bed without having to heft myself around to get there, and I can sleep on my stomach again!

This was not a surgery I took lightly, I researched it, I attended the seminar, I lurked on this site, as well as others. I talked to anyone who had had it that would talk to me! My DH stayed in my corner, but at one point he did say he was unsure of how to act...that he felt like if he supported me in having the surgery done, and I changed my mind, or proved not to be a candidate, it would be interpreted that he wanted me to lose weight, and that he didn't love me as is. And he was worried about my safety as well as our lives remaining normal. Well, we are over 4 months out now, and our lives have indeed remained normal! I see his eyes light up when he notices me doing more, or being more outgoing. I was surprised by how reclusive I had allowed my weight to make me! We go out to eat, we have family gatherings, and I eat for all of them. I just eat way less than before. It takes me as long to eat my small portion, as for them to eat their dinner, so it is not uncomfortable in any way. I have experienced a PB, and I have over eated, or ate too fast, or not chewed well, and caused myself discomfort, even as far as saying it was painful a few times...but each time it teaches me!!! I have now gone from a size 22/24 to buying size 16 jeans. It has been an amazing journey thus far, and I am anxious to continue it! I would support anyone in banding, whether it be my Mom or my own daughter should they ever need it.

My suggestion is to get your husband to attend a seminar with you, then cruise this site together, going through the before and after pics was such an inspiration!!! In may be insecurity over change that brought about the attitude swap.

I wish you luck in making your decision, remember that while they love you, this has to be your decision, you will be doing it for YOU. You are worth taking the time to make the right decision!

Kat

Wow, you have some great responses here! I have just something a little different to add. 1st, I have been on every diet known to man and have never been successful. I was on the yoyo of lose 30 gain 50. I am convenienced that if I never went on a diet I would probably only weight about 200 lbs. Which when you are looking at a top weight of 366, 200 doesn't sound so bad.

Anyway, in going thru all the tests for the band, one thing I discoved about my body is that my stomach empties abnormally fast. People would say, hey just eat til you feel full, well, I never felt full until I had the band! In the stomach emptying test, I was told to expect to be at the hospital for 4 hours, when they did the first check at 30 minutes, my stomach was completely empty, and the dr said they probably could have checked it at 20 minutes with the same results. So, not only did I have the emotional eating issues, the slow metabolism issues, etc, my stomach also worked against me. I have lost over 100 lbs and trust me when I say I haven't been the best band patient. I still eat junk food (severely limited now), and still have issues with emotional eating, and don't exercise nearly as much as I should, yet I am still losing weight.

Good luck with your decision!

I attended a medical program and the speaker was a gastroenterologist. The particular talk was on chronic constipation, however the weight loss topic was broached. He said in a room full of medical specialists that LESS than 5% of people who diet will be successful WITHOUT surgery. That they will not get it off and keep if off for even as little as ONE year without surgical intervention. THAT was my epiphany!! Thats when I knew I HAD to pursue surgical options. I would prefer to have RNY since it is permenant and is without erosion or slips, but I do not qualify. So the next best thing Hopefully better is the band!

Good Luck in you decision- I just found it interesting that the GI professionals acknowledge it !!!!

Sometimes I'm disappointed in the band because I still have to be displined... I have to watch that I'm not eating too many foods that good down easy or eating too much junk. There still is a "way" that you need to eat... which is solid lean Protein first before any junk (if any at all)... this will keep you full longer and help the band to work.

I never have second guessed my decision to have surgery (I just sometimes wished I'd researched more then the band like DS, or Gastric Bypass) ... I feel surgery (one or the other) was the only way. I have dieted and exercised before and lost but always gained it back.... Also my body was getting more and more resistant to diets. I was tired of the losing battle. Now with surgery I feel it's not a losing battle and that I will suceed in time and not "regain" again.

I'm happy with my "fickle" band today though other days I get a bit mad at it because it doesn't "YELL" at me when I eat ice cream but over all I don't believe I would change it. If I ever have an issue and have to have the band removed I will convert to another surgery right away (even if at goal) because I know I don't want to fight that battle again.

You were much braver than I in telling your family. I only told my husband and boss. I didn't even tell my twin with whom I am extremely close until I came back. I still haven't told my kids (all over 17). I didn't need the questions or anyone second-guessing my decision. Of course, everyone means well and are no doubt genuinely concerned about your health. However, only you know the struggle you have been through to lose weight. All of we banders have tried to lose (and keep) off weight or we wouldn't be here.

Personally, I have been struggling for 17 years to keep my BMI at a normal number. I've been over 200 pounds three times. And now, with a chronic thyroid disease, I felt this was the only way to take off weight permanently. I tried one more time on my own and "buckled down" back in December and went back to a low cal diet that worked a few years before. Unfortunately, not this time. I lost and gained the same three pounds over and over and over. I also exercised for 45 minutes twice a week but it didn't matter. I just couldn't lose any weight.

So in July, I made the decision to be banded. I didn't look at it as a quick fix. I looked at it like a life-long commitment. Yes, the liquid part of the diet is boring but you are never hungry. I was ALWAYS hungry before. I could work through it but my next meal was always on my mind. Now, I have to remind myself to eat!

I have only been banded for 16 days but I have already lost 11 pounds with the band and 6 pounds before that on the pre-op liquid diet. One might think that your energy would wane but I haven't felt this good in years! Getting the band was a hard decision. Giving up beer for me was a big sacrifice. But, as I see the numbers go down and my confidence go up, I realize that giving up my beloved beer is just a small price to pay for better health.

As for your family, remind them this is a totally reversible procedure if it doesn't work for you. Also, remind them that the decision is ultimately yours. Stand firm on that fact.

Good luck!

PatU

You've all given me some terrific feedback. Thank you so much. PatU, I had to laugh at your remark that it was brave of me to tell my family. Actually, it was rather stupid. What a bunch they are! Believe me, I'm going to avoid discussing it with them going forward. When I do have the surgery (and I really think I will), I'm not telling them until I'm cornered. The only one who has to know is my husband -- hard to hide it from him.

All of your answers truly helped me. Your feedback helped me to view the issue with more clarity. Sometimes we get so caught up in the emotion of a decision that it's hard to step back far enough to see the whole picture. This forum and its members are a wonderful source of support.

Again, thank you.

Debi

Thank you so much for asking the question. I am due to be banded on Tuesday and of course have been asking myself the same things since yesterday. But....I say DITTO to all the answers that everyone has given so far, and when I focus on that, all the past diets and then the regaining for the past 15 years, I know I won't be jumping off the operating table and running come Tuesday. I wish you the best of luck with your decision. For me, it is the hope that I can finally take the weight off, (the highest that I have ever been) and KEEP it off once and for all.

Thank you all for giving me another objective look at the band. Regardless of when I finally get my band, I know I've made the right decision for me.

If I could of I would of..it is that simple. The band was the one thing that worked for me and I did not get discouraged and quit like I did with so many others diets in the past.

If I cCOULD have done it without the band, I WOULD have. But I decided that I'd struggled for over a decade and that was long enough.

We've all been able to lose weight - most of us many many times. We all know how to do it. But the band gives us a fighting chance of keeping it off. For most of us, this is a last resort. Your family still seems to think this is the "easy" way out.