:help: Up until a few days ago, I was moving confidently toward getting the band. I'm sure I would have started second guessing myself as the surgery date drew near, but my family was very supportive and that encouraged me to stick to my decision.

Now, my family is second guessing my decision, husband included. Maybe they doubted I would ever go through with it after I had done all the research and started going through the prerequisite tests. Now they see I'm only a footstep away.

Over the weekend, their attitudes toward my having surgery changed. We all got together for my birthday and they kept asking me, "If you have to diet and exercise when you have the band, why can't you diet and exercise without getting the band?" I lamely gave answers like lack of willpower, with the band I won't gain the weight back so easily... They were a rough crowd, and all very adept at arguing their case.

I appreciate the responses here to the emotional eating question, because it seems we all have to deal with that. Now I want to know if you attribute the band to your success or is it the smaller portions, along with exercise and complete change in attitude. Why couldn't you make these changes without the band?

I see some people have really gone heavy duty, full throttle into exercise -- gyms, jogging, the works! In that case, weight loss would happen with or without the band. How about the average person who works full-time, has a family and they are happy to be able to fit in 30 minutes to one hour of exercise on any given day? I really want to know how much the band contributed to your losing the weight.

Your answers will not only encourage or discourage me (I will appreciate your answers either way), but will help me to answer my family's questions.

Thanks.

Debi

Hi. I had lost 70 pounds doing Weight Watchers in 2001-2. It was hard, but I thought I had to give it one more good try before I would consider any weight loss surgery. Well...I gained it all back, plus. The stresses in my life led me down the comfort eating path again. I opted for the band and had it done 8/05. I have lost close to 60 pounds. When I comfort eat now, I can't eat nearly the quantity I could have before. And I am not really hungry. Of course, I have tested my band- I have rebelled- I didn't exercise for the first year. And I still lost nearly 50. Now with that off, it is easier to move and I have recomitted myself to lasting weight loss. I didn't exercise with WW either, and I probably wouldn't have gained so much if I did. I work full time 11pm to 7am with a husband and 2 young teens still at home, and I try to make it to the gym at least 4-5 times a week. It can be done. The band is only a tool- it isn't a miracle device. You have to diet and exercise to lose, band or no band. Good luck with your journey.:nervous

All IMO...

You're not really dieting with the band. Well, you are, and you aren't. Your food intake post-op compared to pre-op is "dieting", because you will eat much, much less. But a diet involves elimination of something, whether it's a particular type of food, or even eliminating the large quantity of food. This can lead to a host of things that trigger gaining the weight right back. With the band, you don't feel deprived. You're eating what you want, and you're full - and you're losing weight.

A lot of surgeons will advocate a low fat or low carb diet. This is to maximize your weightloss, as well as a step toward building healthy eating habits.

I debated this a LOT before my surgery. "What if one more diet..." "What if I tried THIS diet I haven't tried yet..." "What if I have this surgery, and that one last diet would have been all I needed to lose the weight?" But here's what I decided:

I can lose the weight. Without the band. I've done it a few different times. What I cannot do is maintain the loss. Never once was I able to maintain. I was always either "losing" or "gaining". All or nothing, you know?

And as my surgery drew closer, when I started to sencond guess myself, doubt that I was making the right decision, etc. I would just remind myself - it's not about getting the weight off, it's about KEEPING the weight off. This band will help me do that.

...and no more doubts.

I try to workout a few times a week, a combination of cardio (treadmill or swimming) and weights. To be honest, I'm not great about it. During the late spring/early summer time I went about 2 months without a single workout because with my regular job, and running my own business, and being in graduate school, and... there just wasn't time. It is important, and I know that, but if something has to slip off my plate exercise is the first thing (And because while I love swimming, I truly do hate working out. I don't get the "high" that keeps people going, I get hot and sweaty and sticky and sore and it sucks.) I know that losing weight will help me with this, from both physical and mental perspectives, and I have no doubt that I will be more apt to exercise regularly at a closer-to-normal weight (I was an avid exerciser before I got fat... didn't enjoy it anymore back then, but knew it was good for me so I did it with gusto).

And not all overeating is emotional eating. I'm a behavioral eater. When I'm emotional I actually reject food because I want to focus in on the issue and get it resolved, and at that point food is in the way. So the band has been fantastic for me... I'm actually having quite opposite problems now (no appetite at all, virtual disinterest in food). I think emotional eaters have it harder, because behaviors are easy to break, we do it everyday, but when you're removing an emotional crutch, you have to be really careful what you replace it with. Do find out whether your issues are emotional or behavioral, because your approach to weightloss & likfe with the band will be different accordingly.

It's really hard to estimate how much the band contributed. That's trying to quntify something that's really not quantifiable. I wish I could say, "40% of the weight I've lost would not have been lost if I didn't have the band", but I can't assign it a value like that. I can tell you that even though I'd lost the weight before, and lost it as quickly, I've never had the hope of it staying off... I've always had an emotional fight going on over whether or not I can really keep up this diet forever...

So maybe I could have lost the same amount of weight, and maybe not, but who cares? I love my band, because I know that if my willpower ever falters, and I have every reason to believe it will, my band is there to back me up.

There's no way I would have suceeded without the band. I did try for 26 years (started dieting when I was 10). After 26 years of failure, I have finally lost 50 pounds with the band and going strong. The reason why I would not have ever succeeded without the band is because I was always ravenous. In the end, hunger would always take over. Always.

It's easy for people who don't have a weight problem to say "why don't you just diet and exercise", but they never look at the evidence, which is that diet failure approached 100% over five years. Weight loss surgery is the ONLY proven method of losing weight and keeping it off long term.

The evidence is overwhelming, yet somehow people will still find a way to argue. I went through the same thing myself and tried to remain patient with the naysayers.

No one here can tell you what to do and in the end it's your decision, but I would encourage anyone to just examine the facts and the evidence before deciding not to persue the only proven method of permanent weight loss.

Take care and keep us posted.

I did atkins and lost 91 pounds in 11 months, I gained back 104 in about 10 when I started eating carbs again. Thanks to the atkins, I developed High Cholestrol and it wasn't comming back down. I had my band done a little over a year ago and I am down 75 pounds. I have about 20 to go but I am doing it and I really believe that the weight will never ever come back. I could do it but couldn't maintain it. I love my band....by the way second thoughts are totally normal (I almost ran the day of surgery) . ~Mandy

before the band when i would lose weight i always regained all my weight + when the pill, diet, exercise, whatever it was...ended.

with the band you dont have to DIET you just have to eat a healthy diet like 80% healthy and 20% indulgent, if you have restriction and you are eating decently healthy meals you will lose.

now when you DO NOT have restriction, if you still want to lose, it becomes more effort on your part with food intake and exercise.

as long as you are able to maintain restriction, portion control is much easier with the band. when you dont have the option of overeating it takes away the desire! yes chocolates and chips for the most part always go down but i always would eat my *healthy balanced meal* first and if i still wanted i would have a small serving of the *treat* 30 minutes later when i was still semi full so i wouldnt eat to much.

a big NO

I always had the Yo-Yo thing, lose 10 gain 20, then lose 20 and gain 30. Thanks god, I got this little friend to help me

I'm recently banded to I don't really have a qualified answer like the others here do. But I have been dieting my whole life. I've also tried my share of "fad" exercise machines, (Anyone remember the abdominizer or the thigh master?) I finally decided on the band after 20 plus years of yo-yo dieting which ultimately brought me to my highest weight ever and the potential for a host of health problems. I don't want to live like that any more. I don't want to have my closet divided into the fat clothes, the skinny clothes and the in-between clothes. Not to mention the emotional toll it takes on a person to constantly gain after trying so hard to lose.

My therapist/nutritionist said "No one fails at dieting, dieting fails you." I see that now.

I answered before without reading your question, but here is what you can tell yourself and tell your family about the band.

Just yesterday, after I ate my good healthy dinner, I got hungry at night, so instead of snacking like a bandster, I snacked like the old (me) I found a bag of Ymmmy nachos in front of me, so I started pigging out like I used to do before. seconds later (while I was eating) I couldn't breath anymore, and the nachos got stuck. So i had to STOP, if it wasn't for the band, then I would've ate the whole bag, then probably 2 sandwitches, a bottle of coke and so on. that used to be me, so think twice about how much this band could be helpful... If it was so easy to diet and excersice then you would not have seen any fat preson...

I have thought about this postoperatively and I believe unless one has some quality time (3 or 4 years?), it is difficult to come up with an answer. I had no clue how much work on my part this would take. Some may say that one does not need to change what you eat, but how much you eat, but I disagree. Until I made behavioral changes, it really was no different than any other diet. Granted, the amount one is able to eat is greatly reduced, but calories are calories and come in liquid and soft and processed form just fine. :biggrin1: I had to break habits and I would have had to do that on any weight loss program. That's the bottom line for me. Honestly, until I went on an anti-depressant (Wellbutrin), my brain still wanted to eat. I believe it is like most disorders: Part mental, part chemical.

Maybe it depends on how much weight one needs to lose, too. At this point (I was banded 2/2/06) and have lost 35 pounds, I cannot definitively say whether I would do it again or not. Some days I think it's the best action I could have taken and other days I see it as just another diet. I am extremely grateful that I have had no complications and I have a feeling in another year or so, I will be very happy I had the surgery. I call that my lack of patience. LOL:(

Best wishes to you!

Kelli

Deb - I see the band as a permanent solution to our serious health problem. I am 2 months banded and loosing steadily (is that a word?). I can now walk up 3 flights of stairs without huffing and puffing. I work out aprox 3 or 4 times a week, sometimes it is just a simple walk, some times it is a serious workout. I eat way less than I did when I did WW or LA Weightloss and my choices are so much healthier and now those choices come naturally. Plus with regular diets I woudl obesses about food, it was all I woudl think about, now I don't and just eat when hungry.

I love and sometimes hate my band, but without it, I may never be able to have kids and would not be able to travel the world comfortably like I hope to do during the next few years.

Did you see the top story on yahoo this afternoon? http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20060906/hl_afp/healthobesityaustraliaconference_060906093244

Oh and nothing feels better than buying clothing in smaller sizes!

I was almost 40 years old and the most that I had ever lost was 20 pounds or pure hell. Between my head cravings, exercising, and hunger, I knew that it would be an uphill battle to continue my loss. Soooo, I stopped my Richard Simmons diet and exercise plan and bamm, those pounds came back.

I knew that I couldn't lose a huge chunk of weight on my own. I had no willpower.

The band is something that you get used to and then whamo ...it fluctuates on restriction. There is no Utopia as far as weight loss goes. It's damn hard, no matter how you do it! We all know that.

Search you heart and head for more info. Write a list of pros and cons. That helped me. Some folks have more support than others and family often "comes around" over time.

I asked myself, "how many 80 year oldss do I know that are moribly obese? 90-100% of the diets fail eventually, what made me so special to think this wouldn't happen to me?" I had my answer.

Good luck with yours, Shawn

I have ONLY lost 70-75lbs. But, I have kept it off now over 2 years. The last time I lost 50lbs pre-band. I gained it back twice as fast as I lost it. I certainly do not believe I could have lost this much OR kept it off without the band. NO...

debi717,

I was exaclty where you are now, 2 years ago. And my DH was 1000% against the idea. He was convinced that we just needed to try a diet and excercise regimine "One more time". My DH's number one argument was "you don't eat large amounts of food" (of course, his skewed version of this conclusion was because I ate less than he did). After he made that declaration, he wouldn't discuss it any further.

I would have to say that of all of the posts that have replied so far, I am most like Wheetsin. I have never had a problem losing weight on a diet. 3-day heart surgery diet, Atkins, Weight Watchers, Quick Weight Loss Centers, the old Phen-phen Dr., cabbage Soup diet, Slim fast bar diet (2 bars a day and a senisble dinner), Carb Addicts, Southbeach diet, oh and 5 area liposuction. All of the diets that I just mentioned have successfully worked for me. Every single one of them.

The cold hard fact that I needed so many diets is that my comfort food addiction, emotional food issues and love affair with food took me back to where I started either +5 or +10 pounds heavier each time. I personally needed this tool as a permanent weight loss maintenance solution.

Honestly, the only person's opinion I cared about was my husband's. We discussed it on and off for two years. I did my research each time, followed stories, but must not have been convinced myself. The day that I became 100% convinced that this was the right decision for me, I had a "come back" for every single one of my husband's disputes. With my conviction and determination, he was probably at 70% for and 30% against. My final plea to him was... "let's go to the seminar and make the decision together".

Going to the seminar does not commit you to the surgery. You should not be reguired to sign any binding documents, if so, then I would look for another Dr. It educates you as to whether the surgery is right for you, IMO.

Good Luck with your decision, I wish you the knowledge to make the decision that is right for you and the courage to stand behind it.

Brilliant reponses, every one. My DH was like Faybie's, and every time he made a comment like "why not just eat less?" I could see he was thinking like a thin person (which he is). He just couldn't comprehend what it was like to go through life feeling COMPLETELY out of control against this monster of morbid obesity. I was healthy, relatively speaking, but what brought me to surgery was the birth of my children. Suddenly my health really mattered, and though I already had long known my weight was not something I'd ever be able to conquer on my own, my two little girls elevated the matter to such a level that I HAD to get help.

My husband saw my determination and of course shared my focus on the girls. It was about way more than my appearance or size--it was about our children's safety and our family's future. He withdrew his objections, and is now very proud and supportive. My lifestyle has changed but still centers around the family rather than my weight; I'm not a gym-hound and don't obsess about calories or whatever. I got the surgery so I could STOP worrying about my weight, not to think about it more.

I didn't tell many other family members; this wasn't any of their business. Months later when they saw that I was losing weight, REAL weight, for the very first time in our lives, they asked about it and I told them. Everyone was happy for me and completely on board.

I say stop discussing it. Make your decision for yourself and act on it. Their opinions simply have no bearing on your decisions about your own health.

you need the lapbanders on your side---so here i go...old habits change hard--the band will keep you full and in constant reminder that you cannot overeat without consquences--your overeating and clean plate club days will be gone! how many diets have you been on in your life that you have succeeded on losing but not keeping the weight off?? your family will miss the old you who constantly entertained/baked/etc--now with a new life you will not live to eat--you will eat to live...my brother said how could you do this--well i did and i still have a social life and lots of time to do other things lke take care of myself--i am not constantly thinking abut/shopping for/preparing/stopping for food.....what a wonderful freedom--and i have control of my blood sugar/pressure..and easier mobility....the reasons fior this procedure are different for everyone...i wish i had done it sooner--i have been a fat chil/adolecent/adult all of my life--almost 60 yers...do what is right for you..we are here to support you decision.