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If I Could See Myself Through Others Eyes



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Tonight I met my best friend of 26 years for a walk and chit chat. We discussed my upcoming surgery and she understands my reasons why I am doing what I am doing. For all my life, she has witnessed first hand how much I have struggled with my weight. She on the other hand is naturally thin and lean (fitness instructor) and has a high metabolism (you should see this girl chow down at a Vegas buffet). As we were walking, she told me that she had explained to her two boys (10 and 13) that I am going in for surgery. When they inquired what kind, she attempted to explain to them what I was having done and why. They both told her that I didn't need the surgery and that I am fine just the way I am. Oh, what sweet boys.

The BFF expressed the same sentiments. That those who love me see me in a way that has nothing to do with my size and weight. I totally appreciate that. I told her that I'm just ready to not be identified or defined by my size "Oh that's Tai, you know, the heavy set girl"...that type of thing. On top of so many other reasons why I am doing this surgery...I'm just ready to get off the yo-yo ride and take food addiction out of the equation. I know the surgery isn't going to magically do all that for me, but I believe it is going to help me move on with the necessary steps to get healthy.

Someday I hope to look in the mirror and see myself the way others see me.

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I understand what your going through,I'm coming to an end of my 2 week liquid diet and a friend of mine asked if I have lost any weight from the pre-op diet...I said yes,8 pounds in 9 days and their response was "why did you resort to a surgery then if your doing just fine on your liquid diet?!" I wanted to be like UH HELLO!who are you?!weird as it sounds I know it was coming from a good place.i feel like everyone thinks I'm taking the easy way out....so far from it.its a frustrating feeling but just gotta remember your doing it for yourself,your health and your happiness:)

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My fiance's family doesn't even believe that I weight over 300lbs, but I am tall, so my weight doesn't look that high. I think its sweet that they don't think I need it, but they are supportive none the less. They know I am having trouble having a baby, and they want the best for me and my fiance. I was always teased as the "fat one" and always felt out of place next to my skinny best friends. My main reason though, that I make sure to tell everyone is that I am doing it for my health, at 22 I already have high blood pressure that I take meds for, and I just got perscribed metformin for insulin resistance. If I know its an issue now, why wait for later, when it will only get worse!

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