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IMHO all genders want to feel loved, beautiful, and special, regardless off their weight, height, religion, etc... But for some reason there is always that one particular person (or more) whom feels it's their responsibility to announce to others any and every fault you may have, and it hurts!!! I'm so humiliated every time this person says "sing, cuz we know it ain't over till the fat lady sings," refering to me! I've told him this is mean and hurtful and that I don't address the many flaws I feel he has...btw he is a co-worker/"friend"! I know he's only joking, but I am obese, (hate that truth), and it makes me extremely self conscious and I want to hide, if not for the need to earn money here I'd never leave my abode ever!!

I'm overly sensitive, and yes I'm wearing my heart on my sleeve! Hopefully within the next several months I'll being wearing a sleeve internally instead, and I'll grow that "THICK" skin he says I need!! I know that its ridiculous for a woman in her late 40's to allow this to affect me, but the fact is that it does and that's That! I posted here because I plan on having surgery in Mexico if all works out.

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that is not a "friend"...that is making fun of you and getting to feel better about himself at your expense. AND, it is probably creating a hostile work environment, so you should tell your supervisor.

Shame on him. Don't need "thick" skin need to have him not be "thick" headed.

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Thank you SO.... if it weren't for the fact of drawing even more attention to myself by making charges I'd do so, but I work in a male dominated factory (like 13 women to 135 men), and I've been down that stream before to end up on the bottom and being ridiculed by the others for doing so...its as bad as being the singer!

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He's an ASS. U don't need to change anything or grow thick skin. I'm sorry that u have to deal with that. Why can't people act like nice human beings?? Sheesh.

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Does this man know you are having the surgery? If not I would not tell him simply because when he sees you losing weight he will make light of the situation by making "jokes" about that too. This surgery is hard enough without negativity from so called friends. I agrees with Southern Oregon he is no friend at all. He is an A@#. You need positive people to help you with what you are going to go through not negative idiots. I wish you all the luck and you need to regroup and stay away from him so you can stay positive for the journey ahead of you.

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I think you need to tell HR then. Hostile work environment lawsuits could cost them a bunch of money.....they would make him stop.

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I understand the male dominated situation. The next time he makes a comment like that simply smile and say, "So when will your mom be here to sing?". I know it seems juvenile but it will shut him up out of shock that you can be just as much of a smart a*&!

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He's an ASS. U don't need to change anything or grow thick skin. I'm sorry that u have to deal with that. Why can't people act like nice human beings?? Sheesh.

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Friends should lift you up, not bring you down! Truth is this person is not your friend. It's different if he was concerned for you health, but that's not what it sounds like to me. Surround yourself with people who love and encourage you daily!

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No, only one person at work is aware of my plans for surgery, and that's exactly the way I intend on keeping it. Thank you for being kind!

HR, and Mgt, are the very ones that unfortunately perpetuate this kind of behavior here I'm in a "man's world" literally! And no, not all men behave like this, just the majority of the ones that work here. I appreciate your concern and ideas, but they will only cause my job to be more difficult daily.

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From experience I can say its extremely difficult to prove what happens at work, because everyone's afraid to speak the truth in fear of retaliation....and although its illegal it happens just the same.

I'm fortunate to have wonderful adult children, grandkids, a boyfriend, siblings and parents to support me when I'm down! Thanks for input.

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Next time he says something, start patting your pockets or digging in your purse. If he asks what you are doing, tell him you are looking for a condom because he's obviously a d*ckhead. :o

Seriously, that is harassment. Your HR department should be contacted. Period.

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What a ******! Personally I wish I was there BC is have slapped the **** out of him

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As far as being as smart assed as he is back to him, its not my way of being....although there has been many times here that the frustration and anger almost brought me down to the level of the Knuckleheads! I've learned long ago to not be them and that's one thing they won't get! I wonder if they act like this around their daughters and wives? Hmm

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
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