Is Keeping The Secret Possible?

[Smoggy 152]

I am quite a private person and a lot of the communities I move in are full of rather judgmental and gossipy people. I told no-one when I had other medical procedures and this is no different. A few people close to me know and that is what I feel comfortable with. I have made this decision for private reasons and not to become an advert or advocate for VSG. I respect those that do, but that is their personal choice- it is not mine.

I will be traveling back to my home town for a vacation soon and since I am on mushies it may prove tricky to explain why I don't want to catch up over dinner and a bottle of wine like I usually do. However I will probably say I am dieting ( everyone is used to me doing that!) and would rather meet over tea. I will be staying with my Godmother who knows and is a huge support, but she is the only one back home who does. My personal life is just that and I defend everyone's right to decide who and how to tell people so that this already difficult process sits well in their own unique and individual situations.

[gloriann 43]

I haven't told anyone at work. They already knew I had the lapband in 2008. Of course, due to a flipped port, and slipped band, I decided on a revision to the sleeve. I know they suspect I have had the sleeve surgery, but they are just a bunch of gossips. Yet they are the ones with the eating too much issues. I thank GOD for my decision and I love my sleeve!

[RissyRoe 25]

I thought about keeping it a secret at first, but now I'm proud of the decision I made because I made one of the toughest decisions ever to get healthy and I took the initiative to get my health back on track. All in all it's your decision but you're making a good one by doing this and it takes a lot of strength.

[Nikki613 120]

I told a few coworkers and if the rest find out....oh well. My husband is telking his parents. He is going to tell them when I am not there and ask them to be nothing but supportive. I Hmhave spent thousands of hours researching this surgery. I know the risks and advantages and together we made the decision. He is also going to ask my mil to not tell anyone as this is a personal matter and I do not particularly like my medical information to be shared with people I am not close to.

[Kabooboo 4]

I thought long and hard about this, and I decided that I would only tell people that I have a close, personal relationship with. If they were there for me during my divorce, came to the funerals of my mother and father, I have a close enough relationship to share. If we regularly share intimate, personal details to each others about our lives, then I will tell them. Otherwise, our relationship isn't close enough to justify sharing such a personal decision I've made. So far I have told 3 close friends, my siblings, my 2 adult children, a neighbor who is a nurse that I am close to, and that's it. There are probably a couple more people I will tell when I see them. I feel comfortable with my plan. I am telling the people I tell about my plan, and I hope they honor my wishes of who I want to share news of my surgery with. I think we all have to do what feels comfortable to us. One thing I think about as I read these posts is that extroverts will usually tell everyone anything, and introverts only share with people they feel comfortable with. That may partially explain the differences in comfort levels with sharing.

[Ms skinniness 3,003]

I told everyone. My best friend did not like it and two others told me I wasn't "that big." who were they trying to kid? This surgery is all about me and I share my truth with everyone. Management are just people and after all is done, it is forgotten. Snotty ppl can go straight to hell and hug the devil as far as I'm concerned.

Congrats to all is VSG's! We rule !

[maryjane61 2]

I have already been chastised once on this forum for pressuring and shaming people into talking about their surgery' date=' but the real shameful act is this kind of deceitful, self justifing logic. Tell who you want or don't tell, but don't try to redefine the meaning of the word LIE just so you can feel better and make everyone else here feel better.

If your kid used this logic on you after he wrecked your car would you be okay with that?

Everyone here who has ever lost any significant weight knows that everyday someone is going to come up to you and tell you how much better you look. And they are going to immediately follow that up with "how did you do it?". What is so wrong with saying "I had WLS and now I'm eating right and exercising"???

[/quote']

I think we all know how you feel and I agree with some of your statements. Can you not just sit back and let others be what they need to be at this point in their lives? No one can know another's situation fully. Just be supportive for the one's you agree with and let the others be. Your negativity is most definitely not helping.

[Wolfgirl1978 256]

I was going to keep it a secret, but decided against it. Ive been telling everyone. In my opinion it would've wrong to lie to one of my friends, who is in the same boat as me, aka another fat person, but as I stated its just my opinion. Of course, there has been issues with some of my friends, that if I would've lied, wouldn't be issues.

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion on this issue

[unknown54678997 50]

You could say you are having a hernia repaired. The op and recovery are almost very similar... Other wise you could just tell them nothing. Its no ones business but yours.

I've told the whole world about my op bevause quite frankly, I don't give a toss what they think. My body, my life, my choice

[jessfharris 70]

Oh my god could I relate!! My coworkers and management know and surprisingly are supporting however I do notice since ive started my liquid diet they been keeping a close eye I don't cheat like it's they're business. For example the day I started it they had a potluck and at first I was going to sit in the lunchroom but as soon as I came in they were like "what are u eating!?!?!? You can't have no cake!" I know that thank u much don't need to tell me so I ended up in our "lactating" room and had my Protein shake...there's a girl in particular who's in management whos also big and has been dieting for years and always says : "oh my your eating that?? That has alot of calories!!" - which bothered me at first cus it made me feel bad but I realized shes had no results.. I will soon and I'm gonna prove everyone I CAN DO IT- I'll really give them something to talk about! Sooo good luck and let them hate, u will do great and look n feel great too!

[Butterthebean 8,146]

I think we all know how you feel and I agree with some of your statements. Can you not just sit back and let others be what they need to be at this point in their lives? No one can know another's situation fully. Just be supportive for the one's you agree with and let the others be. Your negativity is most definitely not helping.

Holy cow that post you quoted was from 2 months ago. I'm over it.

[Sleeving into success 9]

I am 9 months post op and I have not told mant of friends.

[Sleeving into success 9]

Let me try again! HAHA

I am 9 months post op and I have chosen not to tell many people. This has worked so far, because I have put a lot of effort in at my gym an with my personal trainer. You can keep this secret. If someone says something to you about the amount you eat, you can simply say your not feeling well, your husband has a nice dinner cooking, or even reject the cupcake and say that you don't want to spoil a further meal. The bottom line to remember In this is that you DON'T have to explain Anything you don't want to to anyone you don't want to.

It has only been recently that people have asked how I did it, and I reply a strict diet and a strict exercise schedule, and they are content with that !

[Nikki613 120]

Hi everyone! I am the original poster of this thread. I am not about 2 weeks from surgery! YAY! Well ....my intention was to keep this a secret from most everyone....and them something happened....i started feeling like I was filled with anxiety over keeping it all inside.

So I first told a couple girls at work....reactions were a little shocked and scared but after I explained everything and all the research I have done ect...they are supportive.

Told the inlaws tonight and they had questions but are backing me up. I think my MIL was a bit hurt that I thought she wouldnt be supportive. Anywho thats it.....everyone knows. IT IS A HUGE RELIEF!

[Chelle68 27]

That is so sad to hear. I am a member of management and I love my employees like my family. I have shared every step with them. They are so supportive and some are dieting with me. I go sign my consent forms tomorrow and get my date. Hopefully in the next 2-3 weeks. I don't know why some people have to look down on others. I shared my decision in hopes of helping someone else and because I am so excited about getting me back. If anyone turns their nose up at you then feel sorry for them because they are insecure in their own way or just have lack of character. Good luck to you all. Love yourself!