Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Don't Want To Tell Anyone I'm Having The Surgery



Recommended Posts

I didn't tell anyone either. Only a select few. I just felt the desire to keep this to myself. I didn't want all the fanfare and spectacle. Now' date=' however, when someone notices my loss and wants to know how I did it, I tell them I had surgery. I have no problem with it now. Before was a different story. That's not being a jerk.[/quote']

This is how I did it/am doing it. I told only a select few before and now if people ask how I am losing weight, I am honest. No shame in my decision to save my life.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I kinda have mixed views on this one. On the one hand, I understand your reasoning behind it, but on the other . . . well, i know if it were MY mother i would want to know regardless. KWIM? Yes, it is absolutely your business and really you should tell who your comfortable with telling, but please don't sell your kids short. They may get very upset that you didn't say anything. As for me, I've told EVERYONE - but then I'm kind of a loudmouth open book, LOL. Good luck to you!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am the same, I don't want to tell anyone. It is hard because my mother and best friend are the kind of people that have to know where you are at all times. So I have come up with such tales as to where I am going to be. I am thinking I will tell them in the day or so after the surgery.

I understand why you are not telling them. You don't want to take a single moment away from this joyous occasion. And quite possibly they would be completely supportive, albeit worried. As a Libra, I am no help, I see both sides of this dilemma, so you have to do what feels right for YOU right now. You will be able to hold that little bundle of joy when you are home from surgery. I think they say you can't lift more than 20-25(?) pounds, so you will be safe. (Heaven help your daughter in law if it is more than that!)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

LOL!! Heaven help her indeed. I agree that it is about meeting my own needs. Not advocating enough for myself is what got me here to begin with. I should add that her parents are here as welll. I'm guessing I'll say something eventually. They do worry about my health and will be glad ultimately.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My two cents worth is to share this only if you want to and only with those who are going to be supportive.

Those who've said they received nothing but support are lucky indeed. That is not always the case.

A couple of years ago, I tried the Slim Fast Diet. My best friend's response was, "You're on another one of your crazy diets again!". I was very hurt by the condescension and lack of support.

This surgery is too big an undertaking to get more of that.

So you have to evaluate for yourself who to tell and when. There's nothing wrong with the decision to keep it to yourself.

However, you can't just be missing from your grandchild's birth without explanation. You can say you'll be in the hospital for some other reason that sounds acceptable and not so worrisome, like a gallbladder. You can decide in the future if you then want to share your true journey.

Ultimately, the journey is yours and it's up to you when and if to reveal it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • bellaamey

      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×