Ok, so I go to my surgeon's support group and last night someone said something that struck me emotionally. A lady was talking about how she wants the sleeve and her husband, who was with her, was against it. After she was done talking another lady, who also didn't have the sleeve yet, said ".... but you're not that big".

Seriously???? We're at a sleeve support group and you bring that out??? Yes, the lady who said that was larger than the one with the unsupportive husband, and I think that maybe this lady was just trying to make the other feel better (compliment??), but I got so emotional and had to call the lady out on what she said.

I was told alot by friends and family that they didn't think I was big enough. I'm sure they thought of it as a compliment but really it hurt because I could never talk to them about the sleeve beyond their accusation of my size. I was 290 before I got sleeved and had tried and tried and tried and wanted to be able to diet and exercise SO BAD but I couldn't do it mentally. I came to the conclusion to do it for ME because I KNEW I needed a tool to help me, and asking for help is NOT a sign of weakness. Its a very personal decision that everyone makes to have it, and to hear someone say "you're not that big" now not only hurts but pisses me off.

So I guess what I'm saying is for people who may not be 350+ or who wear it well, don't listen to the ignorance when people try to tell you you don't need the surgery when you know in your heart that it is the right decision for you.

I know where you're coming from, I had my surgery at just under BMI 35. I actually told my story to a bariatric surgeon who I briefly worked with and when I mentioned being at 34.5 or whatever I was, he exclaimed "But you didn't even qualify!"

Uh, so 5 lbs above and all of sudden I qualify? I would've gained that 5 lbs in a week if I had to, but WHY do I have to?

I think that sometimes people who don't struggle with weight and eating related issues forget the mental component that for me was the biggest help. I was banded in 2008 and the band came out in 2010 because it had slipped. I thought 'I can do this on my own now' but I was wrong. I was either killing myself at the gym or starving from whatever diet I convinced myself would work that week. But the biggest change I noticed and the main reason I opted to have a sleeve (sleeved June 5) was that mentally, I felt more stable when i had my food issues controlled. By eliminating the constant thought of 'what will I eat next' or 'gosh, they only see me as fat', I was able to grow more as a person. And i admire people who have that natural self confidence that for me required now two operations. But I wouldn't trade the way I feel with the band, or now the sleeve, for how crappu I felt without it.

Point is, I only had about 65 pounds to lose at my heaviest, but it doesn't matter. Everyone has their own cross to bear and a number on a scale doesn't necessarily make it harder. If someone wants to change their life positively and permanently, and they are truly prepared to put forth the effort, then their true supporters will step up and stand by them.

I hope my rambling helps!

my entire family is BEGGING me NOT to have this surgery. They tell me that I can do this on my own. I just need to eat less....eat healthier....go on a diet....try weight watchers again....etc etc. I tried explaining to them why i'm doing this. that i'm doing this for my health. that i'm on the CPAP in orer to keep breathing when I sleep. that I can't excersize because of the weigh causing major issues with my back, knees, hips. (to which she said I just need to push past it and excercise) I'm having more and more internal issues because of my weight. they still oppose it. and my own mother has said that if she could come over and FORCE me not to do this she would. so i've stopped talking to my family about it. i'm still having this surgery and they just won't be a part of any of it.

They'll come around. At first, my mother was vey scared when I wanted to do a lap band. I didnt include her on any of the discussion before I knew I was doing it. Now, two years after having the band removed, she was one of my staunchest supporters for getting the sleeve because she knew WLS worked and basically believes it saved me in a lot of ways.

It definitely sucks that your family can't see it from your point of view. But they probably will. My mom is someone who can diet and eat right, so it was hard for her to understand why it didn't work for me. But the proof was in the band (now vsg) that her daughter was happier and healthier with stronger tool to aide me through the daunting weight battle. Go ahead with your choice. You're right. You'll feel better. Stay strong!

I have had the oposite happen to me, and instead of being told that "I wasn't that big" I was asked (by a doctor nonetheless) as to why I am so big, and how come I don't have WLS? My reply was Obesity is a very complex and their are usually several reasons why someone is "too big" (you would think being a dr. .he would know that). And I that I was working on funding to get WLS, since I do not have insurance and will have to be self pay it might take me sometime (I should have added since your a dr. would you like to donate to my fund, or pay for it for me)? lol.

I will admit that I am someone whose guilty of looking at some and thinking "she/he really isn't that big". I do this because I am comparing them to me. I quickly remember that everyone is different, and we are all in the same boat striving for the same thing! A health life!

I was one of those that prescribed to the "WLS is only for ___". After listening to some peoples amazing stories, though, I've come to realize that some people that are smaller need it to save their lives just as much as I need it to save mine. Just because your BMI is 32 doesn't mean you don't still have sleep apnea, diabetes, or other weight related problems.