Rude Comments!

[alliegb3 112]

Yeah- I'd agree with jealous. You do what's best for you, and thank her for being concerned.take the high road, then get yourself in a stellar shape and live the healthy life

[JenniJune 79]

My best friend is trying to be supportive, but often makes the backhanded comments too "Sure I'm overweight, but I'M happy with how I look" and stuff like that. Our friendship has revolved around food, so I'm sure it's from the fear of not having that crutch to lean on anymore. She even told me that I was talking too much about it and I should shut up. I'm chalking it up to fear and jealousy.

[2ndtimesacharm 35]

I had a similar problem with my own SISTER! She is very petite and I have always been the big one but she has always implored me to lose weight. Once I told her about the surgery she got all high and mighty on me saying I should really try harder to do it naturally and not jump into another surgery! I found out later through cousin of mine that she admitted to being nervous that I would become a skinny girl and she would be jealous. We have since worked out HER issues and moved on but yeah the jealousy thing knows no bounds!!

[favoredone 590]

LOL.. yeah, I had a friend who basically called me lazy and said I wasn't trying hard enough when I told her I was going to do the lapband!! LOL.. Then I decided to get sleeved, she promised to stay a night at the hospital w/ me and didn't show up or call until 3 weeks after surgery!!...

Later, she and I saw each other at a party and e'one else was raving about how good I looked and how much weight I'd lost, her comment was... You're gonna be something else when you get skinny".. in a very negative and sacastic manner... I responded, Honey, I'm already something else, something good and I'm getting better!!

I've learned that people who are either afraid, in denial or unwilling to take the risks and put in the work to change, are envious of those of us who do...

You are brave... she's giving you a compliment... in an awkward manner, but a compliment nonetheless!!

[Catracks 865]

My surgery is next week and I am going out to lunch with my best friend, for what I assume is the last time. A huge part of me wants to tell her, but I am not in the mood for the questions. So far, the only person that knows is my husband, and he is so supportive, I don't feel like the potential for negative energy at this point. BUT, I can't stand the lie that I have told her about where I am going next week. She is thin and will ultimately be happy and supportive of me as I lose.

I'd give her a chance and tell her. I'd want to know if my best friend was having surgery. You do what feels right to you. The ball will be in her court. It sounds like things will be fine. Not all women are jealous harpies

This won't be the last time you go out to eat either. A sleever can eat out just fine even in the early stages. You will think Soup is nectar from heaven.

[Bubbaloo10 55]

The biggest part of her comments is jealousy. The rest may be genuine concern for your wellbeing. Point her to this website and let he read the success stories. Of course there are also stories about complications, but they are far outnumbered by success stories. Maybe she'll feel better about it.

[gmanbat 5,889]

These reactions we get as sleevers are an amatuer psychologist's dream.

It seems to be a human foible to define ourselves by our perceived relative position in relation to those around us. For example: you have a friend who was always the thinner one. She was comfortable and happy to be the better of you two in her own mind. Now you attack your fat with high aggression and she sees her self-definition threatened. Rather than be happy for you out of pure friendship her instinct of self preservation kicks in she lashes out to either discourage you or out of sheer agony that she has to take a new look at herself and blames you.

You know, we are who we are regardless of those around us and what they think. What they think only has a bearing on our welfare if we let it. What we think is paramount.

[Failure 32]

My sister had gastric bypass about 3 or 4 years ago now and it was probably about 1 or 2 years ago I had been seriously looking into some kind of weight loss surgery, I didn't have any particular one I wanted. I mean the bypass was the one that everyone heard about and not the sleeve, if it was even being done that commonly back then I have no idea. I only ever heard of the band and RNY.

Anyway, the second I told her I was interested she told me this, word for word: "I kind of hope you don't get it, because you'll get skinny and be so much prettier than me and I won't be the pretty skinny one anymore".

It doesn't even matter if the friend is big or small, weight loss surgery patient or not. People are just so terrible to each other when they hear about someone making a drastic change about themselves FOR THE BETTER because it means they will be left in the dust with THEIR OWN MISERY and feel that you won't be on that pity party bandwagon anymore.

Which is true. Even with a WLS, not everyone suddenly becomes happy. I have seen that with my own 2 little eyeballs and it's sad. You'd think after bettering a large part of yourself (no pun intended) that contributes to your misery, that you'd at least find SOMETHING to be happy about and portray that onto other people.

Nope. Not always.

[MrzSongbird 53]

Wow, I can't believe so many have dealt with such "friends" its a shame. My sister had the surgery last year and has lost about 120lbs since then and I couldn't imagine behaving that way towards her. Her success is making it difficult for me to make it through my six months lol. I just wanna be sleeved already.

[Failure 32]

MrzSongbird it was the most selfish and hateful comment I ever heard out of my sisters mouth. I never knew she viewed me that way but it rolls off my back to be honest. If that's how she wants to act then that's ok, she can just sit back and watch me succeed with hazy eyes instead of us having a success "together" as a family and working together.

[SleeveDreamer 383]

They are jealous. BTW, this was your firend? LOL! (She will be more jealous awhen she sees you after the surgery). Tell her you could die tomorrow getting hit by a car too. Tell her you are doing this to be healthy and live a normal life and she should be happy for you.

[azquilter92 82]

The " " pretty well sums it up. Just add her to the weight you are going to lose.

LOL i like that analogy!

[sleeve 4 me 910]

Tell her to come this site and see all the amazing transformations...she probably just doesn't know of anyone personally that has had wls. Most people are terrified based on hear say, rumors, etc. What's that saying, ignorance is bliss (?)...anyhoo I had friends like that. And now some are even considering wls.

[aviiva 140]

People do not like to change the rules in the middle of the game. Change is hard for people. it will no longer be a level playing field. My bff had her sleeve done last july and she has been my biggest supporter.

Sent from my SPH-D700 using VST

[mommyinneed 25]

My fiancés mom and sister who I will say is down right rude and nasty about everything made a couple comments and I straightened them out right away!

His sister who is obese by at least 40 lbs.. 4'11.... Said " when I gain weight I take my ass to the gym". Lol apparently the doors were closed because she will soon be getting my handle Downs! Ha

His mom said "you know you will gain it back".... My response... " unless you have researched this for longer than me then only speak what you knOW and last I remembered you were no psychic.

I think ignorance is bliss.

Some people have no idea the level

Of their ignorance!