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Did You Or Are You Keeping Your Sleeve A Secret?



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Just wondering if anyone is keeping their sleeve a secret and how it worked out for them? I know you need a support system but I am only telling literally 2 people, besides my hubbs of course! We live far away from family and only see them a few times a year so they will not be able to really support me in any way and i only have a few friends who see me on a regular basis. I just don't want to tell people i had to get surgery to lose weight and have to validate my reasons to them. Do you think its wrong?

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I have told obviously my hubby, my mum, my brother & about 6 friends so far. I have just been telling friends as it comes up.

Part of me wants to tell everyone on Facebook. But then I worry what people will think, or if they will be watching all the time to see how much weight I lose.

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Tons of people on here have kept their surgery a secret. I chose not to, I told everyone -- my coworkers, friends, family, strangers -- I felt that I was comfortable enough with this that I didn't care what people thought. So far I haven't had any negativity, just tons of support. I have even had a few people who are going to check it out and see if they want to have it too!

Whatever you chose to do is a deeply personal decision and depends on your comfortableness with letting people know your personal affairs.

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Do what you like about it. I would stand on the roof and shout it out if I could climb up there! :)

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you just need to do what is right for you. I've told everyone now and have it pretty public on FB and through my blog. In the beginning there were a few extended family I didn't tell just because they had a lot they were dealing with right now and I didn't want them to worry about me, especially since this is elective surgery. However, they now know & are supportive.

Just because it's right for me to tell people doesn't mean it's what everyone should do though! Just do what you are comfortable with.

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My immediate family knows, aunts/uncles/cousins do not. A few friends know, coincidentally none of them live in the same state as me. Work knows I have (had) a lap-band, and that I've had surgery, and a few co-workers know that my surgery was related to my lap-band. They can draw whatever conclusions they want.

When I had my band I told anyone who asked. I didn't advertise it, nor did I hide it. This time around I just didn't want to deal with having to explain what happened, why, what was being done to fix it, etc.

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I tried to keep it only between me and my very close family members..... but word is getting around and its only been 3 weeks!!!! Now I feel like people are looking at me like I am a liar. The people I told only told their husbands or boyfriends or other people they thought would not tell but damn.... everybody has the one person they think they can tell and word is getting around.

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I am keeping mine a secret. I have only told a select few- dad, hubby, son, and 3 friends and my boss- no one at work. A lot of people are judgmental, and I just don't want to hear anything they have to say. I try to keep myself and those around me positive. So I feel the same way as you. We don't have to validate anything to anyone. Our lives, and we are on a mission to get healthy. Good luck with your journey. I am still waiting to to get sleeved. No one's business but ours. I posted something similar to this - check my previous post.

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I have told obviously my hubby, my mum, my brother & about 6 friends so far. I have just been telling friends as it comes up.

Part of me wants to tell everyone on Facebook. But then I worry what people will think, or if they will be watching all the time to see how much weight I lose.

I feel like a horrible liar keeping it away from facebook!! lol, only because I have people who I am not that close to and I don't want to hear negativity... I know I shouldn't care what people think, but I just want to keep my business my business. My husband, immediate family know.. some aunts/uncles, cousins bestfriends know but not beyond that.

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I have decided to be very open with my surgery! It's opened up some very awesome conversations with friends and strangers. The VP of HR reached out to me because she heard I was having the surgery. She had a RNY 12 years ago and we talked quite a bit about it today. She said something that really stuck with me...as women we have to share our experiences and be the role models for those to come. There are so many people out there who don't have support...I can't wait to be like her in 12 years :)

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My family, co workers and facebookers know. Everyone on my Facebook is MY family (no in laws) and a few closer friends. I have also told a few strangers in conversation (hence I accidentally met someone on this site inadvertently! Lol). However, I have ZERO intentions of telling ANY of my in laws. They don't care about me to begin with...cause I'm not their religion, I don't drink alcohol with them, I don't smoke, I don't party, cause I'm a BBW...so many reasons. I have only had 1 coworker say negative things...that it's not gonna work...she knows ppl that didn't change their habits, etc...she's the b!£€* of the office anyway, so...that's my story. I have 3 more months to wait.

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I met a lady at my support group who did not even tell her own husband!!!!! he was away on a business trip (what the.. how did my font go this small!) yea but no one knew but him.. I asked her, didn't he wonder why she was in the hosp for few days or why she doesn't eat or can't eat like before.

She said, she lied and said she "gall bladder removal" hmmm, crazy huh? if you own husband can't support you... then what? but to each their own

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Jaspersgirl, I do find that a little strange too, but yes, I guess each to their own.

Personally I wouldn't lie & if someone openly asked me I would tell them the truth.

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I've told no one but immediate family and I'm happy with that decision. I figure it is no one else's business and I don't see that it is an appropriate topic for strangers or casual acquaintances. They probably don't have any interest and probably would wonder why I was telling them such personal information.

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I decided to share With ever one in wanting to get sleeved .. I felt comfortable w my choice of wanting this surgery because it's people who are in the same situation as some of us who are over weight , obese and need help but don't know where to start are fear of talking to their families about wanting the surgery .. If someone says why did I have the surgery and not do it on my own ill tell them that if I don't have this surgery I will die from the complications of being obese watch their faces change ... I'm not sleeve yet I'm in the process and I want to say god bless and good luck to each and everyone of you

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    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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