Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Thread Killers



Recommended Posts

I hate to change the subject, but back to a more serious note.

Dawg, is there any chance you will be expanding your practice in the future to include plastic surgery, specifically, tummy tucks and bat wing removal? After doing the lap band, I can't imagine this would be a hard technique for you to master, especially with Susan helping you. What would your cost be on that? Also, do you and Susan provide lodging and meals while we recover?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

THAT you consider more serious?

I am curious about these naughty dreams...details people! My dreams have been so PG lately. Last night I was swimming after the ferry until we decided to move into an abandoned barge and become lawyers.

Did I reveal too much?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Actually, I keep dreaming I am a detective in some old Film Noir movie... dressed like Humphrey Bogart, and narrating everything to myself. If it's my dream, why do I need the narration?

"After telling the Lap band folks about my dream, I typed more information in a database at work It was a boring database, the type of database that gives most people nightmares, but keeps the business running. I decided to stop typing and moved onto the personnel reports. Ahh, the personnel reports. How I remember working on them back in the day... that was before they became mandatory and I had to have them on the bosses desk every monday... yeah I remember those days. Despite all that... something kept drawing me back to LBT. Was it something sinister? Was it something exciting? Maybe it was some dame that I couldn't get out of my mind... a dame who was exciting and banded, like all dames should be... maybe I should stop narrating all this and gwet back to my two-bit job, that just covered the bills..."

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It was hot, hot enough to roast a cat. Dawg eyed "Just" Paul's dream about detectives and an expression of suspicion flashed across his dour face.

"Thought you could pull the old 'detective dream' to kill the thread eh?". Dawg cackled insanely, "we'll see about that".

Grabbing his keyboard set to work typing feverishly. Too feverishly.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hmmm... reproductive burp. Where more comes up than went down?

Well not quite. First you burp, then you have to bring it up for 21 years.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

What the......

*Telly is finally lost*

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

And one day, the random lurker posted a message just to see if she could kill a thread. See, no one knew much about her, and not how to respond.

Oh and Kathy, you only offend if you eat alot of your black bean salad.< /p>

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Your lurker status is powerless against my hoard of winged monkey type things.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

ok, I just sent IM's to my DH and my son.

DH is sitting 5 feet from me, and son is downstairs, almost directly below me. I thought it was normal behaviour?

Ok, I ate bread, and Pasta and cheese and ice cream and fruity Rum drinks and more ice cream with hot fudge, and mac'n'cheese (the velveta shell pasta kind) and more pasta. I've had all my fill removed, and I ate all I wanted.

I'm down 5 pounds this week.

Maybe I should try this special diet before I get a fill. Hey, if it works, it works. Now, if I could only get my DH off my computer and back on his own machine, we'd be all set for the IM's. Personally hate IM's but you get the point.

Speaking of dreams.....I really had a dream that I lost a huge patch of hair after my first fill.....it's scheduled for this Fri. This time I hope my dreams do not come true. :notagree

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Jill, I'm outing you from lurk status. You simply MUST post! Now way could you kill a thread. Not THIS thread anyway. LOL Yummmm, black bean salad. Who wants the recipe? Guess what's in it?....CHEESE!!!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

hahahahahahaa!

...are those reproductive burps the ones you get if you're a good catholic???

Beware cheese lovers - think VERY carefully before acting! Researchers say that a rapid decrease in CHEESE consumption has a doubly inverse affect on the reproductive burp quotient...

Hey Dawg - will you be adding boobage repair to your surgical menu?? A couple of balloons, an egg lifter, some taco sauce and a couple of safety pins should just about do it...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hey Dawg - will you be adding boobage repair to your surgical menu?? A couple of balloons, an egg lifter, some taco sauce and a couple of safety pins should just about do it...

I don't think the wife would like me 'handling' that type of job.

I can suggest a self help treatment though. Cheap and Easy. simply fashion a new bra from duct tape. You can sculpt, adjust and give all the lift you could ever want!

I don't know if it would be safe for beach wear though.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×