Is anyone else having a hard time with eating with their family?

I have to say that my family has, since surgery, turned into a pack of hyenas at meal times. Where did the manners go?

Even before surgery, I was the one who ate less than everyone else, and took longer to eat it. Now, it seems like since I can't eat much, the assumption is that I don't need any of the chips and salsa, or the other shared items that come with restaurant eating. And, my food is fair game for my stepdaughter, who has taken up the habit of actually putting her hand in my plate, or eying my plate for the split second I might be done. Argh! And my husband is not much help.

A couple of weeks ago, I nearly lost it. We were traveling, and went to eat at a Mexican restaurant. I have told them, please just slow down and for the sake of simplicity, since there are three of us, consider taking 1/3 of the chips, and 1/3 of the salsa. I have pointed out that they will get more than enough food. Well, within three minutes, the bowl of chips was gone. I am not exaggerating. I got exactly one chip. When I said something about it, I cannot even explain what my stepdaughter did, it was so rude. I was stunned and I even stood up and walked out of the restaurant.

Another thing my husband does at times is "clean up" before I am done eating. This is more so when we go to a more casual food place with counter service, which is kind of rare, but still, he has made me cry doing things like standing up and cleaning up before I am done eating. Today, we were at the airport and we shared a salad that came in a plastic "clamshell". While I was still eating, he piled the trash, including his empty drink container, into the container I was eating from. I looked at him and he realized that he had hurt my feelings again. I told him that it was probably the only food I would be eating today, why did he need to do that? We weren't in a hurry. If anything, we were just hanging around with a couple of hours to spare. He obviously felt terrible, but still!

I don't even know how to address some of the rude behavior. It was not this way before my surgery, at least not as bad. I don't want to be the food and manners police, but things have really gone downhill. I don't even want to eat with them anymore. I don't know why manners went out the window just because I cannot eat as much as before.

What to do?

Your step daughter will be needing her own sleeve in a few years if she keeps going like that.

Wow, I am so sorry you are going through this! My kids and husband went out to eat with me a couple of times since surgery and I have to admit I am lucky. They have been curteous and realize I am going to take longer to eat. They haven't tried to eat my food. I let them know I'm going to box some up and take it home and save it for later. I don't blame you for not going out to eat with your family anymore. I hope you guys can get it sorted out. I don't know how I would deal with a husband who won't discipline his daughter. It is too hard for a stepparent to do the discipline unless you were there raising her from the time she was really little. I really wish you the best.

As a Mom with 3 kiddos I do have to say that I probably would have been kicked out of the restaurant if ANY of that happened to me.

You do not take food off of anyone's plate...PERIOD... unless it is OFFERED, if you do then you need to be stabbed by a fork...SERIOUSLY!

Your husband seems very insensitive...and not about the surgery, how much respect can he have for you if he lets ANYONE treat you in the way that he himself treats you and allows his child to treat you.

I am dealing a LOT with the food police. My younger ones were very worried about my health and while happy I got the sleeve, are very concerned that I would be hurt... so they are often quick to ask me if something I am eating is on my diet. I went ahead and posted it on the fridge for their reference so they would leave me alone

Whether sleeved or not NO ONE deserves to be disrespected. I think having low self esteem is common in people before WLS, and they let things slide that they normally wouldn't.