Hi everyone, just have to vent. I just ate about 25 pounds of buttered (real) popcorn and I feel like a pig. I do pretty good during the day, then in the evening, BAM, it's always popcorn. I can eat cups and cups and cups of it too, which is evil..at least if the band could stop popcorn that would help. What the hell is it with this compulsion to overeat?? I swear to God in my next life I'd better be thin and NORMAL because in this life I got screwed!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's like there's something in my mind CONSTANTLY driving me to EAT EAT EAT EAT. I'm so sick of it I wish I could just literally remove that part of my brain so I could have some peace. Nobody in my family, or my friends, understand all this...it's there the second I wake up in the morning and follows me around until I fall asleep at night, right after I sum up the day and give myself the last guilt trip for ****ing up the food thing. If I wasn't working out like a mad woman every day I'd be gaining weight right now. ANYWAY, sorry for the rampage, I just had to put words to my thoughts. :phanvan

Buffie- -

I think many of us feel your pain on the eating, eating, eating thing. I, too, think about food a lot still...but I think I'm getting better. I keep thinking that since eating is not such a pleasant experience anymore (having to eat sooooooooo slow and chewing it to death, and taking an hour to eat a small saucer of food, etc.)...maybe the compulsion will just go away. I have decided to try something that may help you, too. Instead of making so much popcorn, just make a small amt. and let that be IT...period. What I am going to do is this: I'm going to start making my plate of food on a saucer, so I won't put so much on it. I still have this thing about eating a full plate of food. I'm going to try to see if I can psych myself with this strategy...a full saucer vs. a full plate. I've been told it works after you get used to it. I think much of this is that ole head hunger we've all read about. It's the big hairy monster that probably got us in this situation to begin with!!!!!!!

- - rhlane

Oh...and Buffie...

I wanted to mention this, too.

My dr. told me NO popcorn because he recently had to do an emergency surgery on one of his patients that got a piece of popcorn stuck in her stoma.

I don't know...that's just what he told me. I tho't you might want to know. BE CAREFUL EATIN' THAT STUFF.

- - rhlane

Hi Buffie,

I soooo understand how you feel!! Instead of mad, though, I've been just so down about it. I'm so, so, so tired of the compulsion! I'm SICK of waking up thinking about food, planning it, getting it, eating it, thinking about the next thing I'm going to have ... None of my friends or family have the issue, so while I can cry on their shoulder a little bit, they really don't "get it".

I wish I had perfect words for you, but I don't. I do agree with the practical suggestions that others offered - the problem is being in the right frame of mind to implement them ... :decision: ...

I'm sending you all the best, tons of love, and hope for patience with the process for both of us!

I've been reading books by Geneen Roth - Overcoming Compulsive Eating, food is Love, Feeding the Hungry Heart, and a few others. It's amazing how the things she says are right on. Not only am I learning, it's giving me something else to do

Good luck to you in your journey...

Hey Buffie...no words of wisdom or advice here....just understanding...

(((((hugz)))))

Hi Buffie, i can identify with everything you have said, sorry i have no words of wisdom for you. Just to let you know i think you are doing great:clap2: :clap2: I am sending you all the best, and hope you can overcome your compulsion for popcorn. Maybe you could make that your August challenge. "No popcorn for a month"

Maria:Banane40:

Hi Buffie,

I know exactly how you feel. The feelings of failure, self-loathing and guilt as well as destroying a pretty good day are sooo debilitating :cry . Have you ever obsessively eaten celery? How about carrots? I haven't. I think we (the MO) are blessed to have some wires crossed somewhere, where not only do we crave carbs but we do not have an active mechanism to tell us to stop. Another observation, if I may, we also have a much higher level of hunger than our "normal" weight friends and I think (IMH and most unprofessional opinion) the more carbs we eat, the hungrier we are and the more we obsess.

Another observation (you may want to stop now) I am not banded but hope to be by Christmas (my xmas wish ) so I am only a lurker at this point but what I wanted to say is that I think you all (the banded) are so very brave :clap2: to have undergone a procedure to implant a foreign object in your body that puts you at risk of infection, will cause you to completely change the way you eat (ever present all day everyday), socialize, and travel, and may cause you to pb, slime, have acid reflux, and worry about erosion and/or slippage. I completely understand, however, and I am looking forward exchanging my self-loathing, unhealthy self for all of the above.

Buffie, keep up the good fight, find a strategy that allows you to conquer whatever is overcoming you, take small steps and celebrate your successes.

Cheers,

T

I'm right there with you Buffie. I guess we all could be, if we allow ourselves to go there. I guess my only advice (because it's what I have to do) is simply not bring these trigger foods into your house at all. OR buy yourself the little 1 serving bags and make it a point to only allow one. Candy no longer lives at my house, nor does ice cream, I only buy the 100 calorie Cheetos packs and I have some 100 calorie chex mix packs (I haven't touched either of these in days). I have a love/hate relationship with Fritos, but I think I'm getting a handle on it. (Why can't they put THEM in 100 calorie packs??) I buy single serving fruit cups and I count out how many club crackers I can have. You get the picture. You may have to simply remove these foods until you feel safer or have developed a better alternative. Good luck! We've all been there..

Hi Buffie

Just wanted to let you know that you're not alone. I am EXACTLY the same. It's a horrible cross to bear. And nobody understands unless they are in the same boat. When you find out about that brain operation let me know, I'll go with you!

I go through the same thing all the time. I try to do something else like going on the pc and reading posts for encouragement.

I #@##$# up my ticker thingy. Help what did I do wrong?

Thanks everyone for your words of encouragement. I just had a fill today, I'm up to 7 cc now (10 cc band), I haven't tried eating anything yet. It's so comforting to know I'm not alone with all this going on, you're all wonderful.

Okay Buffie, I just may have you beat in the popcorn area..

I went to the movies a few days ago. I ordered a LARGE bucket of popcorn & asked the lady to layer it with butter 3 times. (yes, 3 times) I then, proceeded to go to the butter station & add more butter to the top. I fully intended on sharing that bucket with my kids & husband. However, I ate the entire thing. ALL OF IT!! I don't even want to know how much carbs, calories, fat & crap I ate. Popcorn has always gone down very easy for me. I wish it didn't.

I go through the same things you do. It makes me sick of myself. I can go a whole week with eating wonderful & staying in control & then WHAM....I go to do some crazy thing like eat a whole bucket of butter with a smidgen of popcorn.

Not sure I'm helping except to let you know that I AM SO WITH YOU!! I wish food didn't control my life.

I can SO commiserate with all of you on the eating thing. Like Jack, I find that I just have to obsess about something else: LBT, working out, a good book or magazine, etc.

Thank you all for your honesty. It makes me feel like less of a slob.

Jack you're HILARIOUS! Your posts always make me smile, thank you