Ok here it goes.. Today was a beautiful day here so my family decided to take a little boat ride out to the ocean.. We started out doing good and then oops my husband didnt stay in the channel and we hit the grass flats.. We just didnt hit them we got stuck to where our boat didnt move.. we were in about a foot of Water and werent going nowhere.. My kids were freaking out and my husband started getting rude... Once you get stuck on the flats the only way of getting off is to get out and push until you get into deeper water or you wait for high tide to come back in... Well, we tried both.. First he tried to get out and push but it was hard to move the boat bc of being grounded.. So he started on the mean kick and saying that I was the fattest in the boat and that my fat ass is causing us to be stuck there.. it was very degrading and embarrassing since my kids were in the boat.. So for the next 3 hours all I heard from the family was how fat I was and needed to get out of the boat and push.. I was like WTH... I am not getting out and why are you taking your stupidity out on me...

Here I am on my pre-op diet and doing really well.. my surgery is the 21st so I know I am heading in the right direction.. but after today I wanted to come home and eat the house.. thank god I didnt and just had a Protein shake with some dinner but I was still mad when we got back.. he never even said sorry for what he had done.. I feel like sometimes my husband holds me back on succeeding bc of his mean actions...

So here is my questions to you all... Does our husbands hold us back from succeeding in life bc of their mean behavior?? I could be the only one out there that has this issue but I really feel like our emotions and eating depend on how we are treated sometimes.. it has been a long 10 yrs of this.. I am ready to take charge and show him I can handle things when his dishes it out... sorry if this doesnt belong in a thread but just wondering if I am alone on this or are others out there with same issues...

I can't even begin to tell you how much we should be friends However, since being sleeved and dropping almost 70 pounds, my husband has three girlfriends on the side and is meaner than ever. Me thinks someone is a little miserable in their own skin and quite jealous now

Keep your head up and always remember that you are doing this for YOU!!!!!!!! You are in the business of you.

OP you are going to lose all that weight and GAIN your self esteem back mama! Then you will realize that verbal/emotional abuse does not have to be put up with. Your kids deserve better than that. Having 2 parents together but unhappy and Dad treating Mom like crap is not a positive thing for them. Having a Mom who is happy, content, and respects herself is so much better for them.

Good luck and just know that you don't have to live like that.

All I can say is Wow...how dare he talk to you like that? The fact that he "let's you stay home" is not permission for him to talk to you like dirt, and you be ok with it

. As far as your children go, I am not sure of their ages, but if that is being done in front of them, all that can cause is repeated patterns in them. The sad reality is as much as we try not to be like our parents, we are their children and wired like them.

Sorry you had to endure that.

The fact that you live with a man who treats you so poorly is disgusting.

There's no excuse for you to be treated like that, nor should your kids behave like that. No offense, but for him to treat you like crap for 10yrs he has to lack self esteem for whatever reason. If your kids are young and you decide to separate, they will get over it, you need to think about your happiness as well. I bet if you sought child support and alimony he may change his tune. I wish you all the happiness...Take care!

Don't underestimate the damage the abuse is doing to the kids. Staying for the kids isn't a good thing. It is teaching them that it is acceptable to treat a woman this way and if they are girls it is showing them that is what they should expect from a relationship. I know it can be hard and take a long time and lots of planning to make it right, but it sounds like you need to consider where things will go in the future. Have you tried marriage counseling?

I concur 100% with MeMeMEEE's message. My father treated my mother the same way while I was growing up and I can testify it had very negative effects on all the kids. Mom was Dad's scapegoat for everything...including HIS massive weight problem. They finally divorced when I was 16.

Listen, life goes on though and we learn to forgive. Do what's right for you and your children. You'll never regret it.

Living well is the best revenge! *hugs*

Once again you all have been very supportive and great.. so thank you all for the advice and just reaching out to say you care.. it has been a very nice thing all of you have done..

I do wanna say tho that tonight I took some of the advice given and sat him down to tell him how yesterday affected me.. he didnt realize what he had done and said he was sorry.. but ofc he wanted to get his groove on so he would say anything at that time..lol.. but in the end I think I got my point across and used some of the advice RosieSweetie gave... so thanks for that.. from now on I wont sit back and take his abuse but turn it around on him and let him know how it feels.. I do realize that this will take a long time to change but a change for myself to figure out what is right for me.. you all had very good advice and I feel this year will be a time for change whether it is him who straightens up or me leaving...

to yecats I wanna respond and say that sanibel and captiva is a great place to live.. we have beautiful peaceful beaches here.. I do have a great life as far as that goes and have everything I could want.. so please dont think he doesnt provide for us because he does in nice ways.. it is just his attitude that stinks some time...

once again I appreciate all the advice and support... you guys are great!!!!

:clap2: BRAVO!!

thanks Dooter...

Has anyone looked at those smileys? there is 2 bananas doing it....LMAO.. funny to see in the morning at 3:30am...

friend of mine had a husband like that....the key word is "had"....after having Gastric Bypass surgery and losing almost 200 pounds he didnt change, now she's in the process of getting a divorce....and he's SUPPOSE to be a preacher....

No one should take abuse, life is too short, either being overweight or thin, to take abuse from anyone....I'll tell you what I told her, you have to be make yourself happy, and dont use the kids as a excuse, having 2 unhappy people in their life will do more harm than you staying there!

"he didnt realize what he had done and said he was sorry.."

I call bullshit. He realized EXACTLY what he had done, and he's not sorry because he's going to do it again and again and again. Abusers do not change, they just find new and inventive ways to abuse you. If he can not treat you with dignity and respect as a fat woman, he does not deserve the opportunity to do so as a thin woman.

I came here to say what everybody else already did. Don't you go back on the food for comfort. Stay a little angry and work your ass off to make him eat his words. Also pray for a soul who could talk to anyone like that, especially his wife. Sounds like he had a baby trantrum. :-P

Pick your head up Sunshinemom, I did that for 10 years too. I live with my children's father for ten years and he cheated and treated me badly.

But one day I got tired of play house with him and once I lost alot of weight I was 250lbs to 180lbs I found a new man and married him. New hubby is so supportive.

Maybe you should try some couple counseling to be able to understand why he does that.

Good Luck you we be okay.

I only want to say, please don't think you are doing anything like this for your kids. I was married for 35 years before I divorced my ex husband. By that time, my kids were grown and damaged from watching the abuse. (no physical) I stayed because I did not have to work. I should have divorced him years ago. I wasted so many years thinking I loved him. I am remarried and if I had stayed with him longer, I would have missed this blessing.

Ok here it goes.. Today was a beautiful day here so my family decided to take a little boat ride out to the ocean.. We started out doing good and then oops my husband didnt stay in the channel and we hit the grass flats.. We just didnt hit them we got stuck to where our boat didnt move.. we were in about a foot of Water and werent going nowhere.. My kids were freaking out and my husband started getting rude... Once you get stuck on the flats the only way of getting off is to get out and push until you get into deeper water or you wait for high tide to come back in... Well, we tried both.. First he tried to get out and push but it was hard to move the boat bc of being grounded.. So he started on the mean kick and saying that I was the fattest in the boat and that my fat ass is causing us to be stuck there.. it was very degrading and embarrassing since my kids were in the boat.. So for the next 3 hours all I heard from the family was how fat I was and needed to get out of the boat and push.. I was like WTH... I am not getting out and why are you taking your stupidity out on me...

Here I am on my pre-op diet and doing really well.. my surgery is the 21st so I know I am heading in the right direction.. but after today I wanted to come home and eat the house.. thank god I didnt and just had a Protein shake with some dinner but I was still mad when we got back.. he never even said sorry for what he had done.. I feel like sometimes my husband holds me back on succeeding bc of his mean actions...

So here is my questions to you all... Does our husbands hold us back from succeeding in life bc of their mean behavior?? I could be the only one out there that has this issue but I really feel like our emotions and eating depend on how we are treated sometimes.. it has been a long 10 yrs of this.. I am ready to take charge and show him I can handle things when his dishes it out... sorry if this doesnt belong in a thread but just wondering if I am alone on this or are others out there with same issues...

I am so so sorry you endured that. (((hugs))) Please look inside yourself while you are going through your journey and ask yourself if you deserve to be treated that way. Because from where I'm standing that answer is NOOO!!

ETA: I recognize mental abuse when I see it. My Mom was mentally abused by my step father all through my childhood. He mentally abused me too... I swore I would never allow another human being to treat me that way again. I deserve better, and those people who do things like this to others need to be floated away on a desert island.

That is all. :-/