Ok here it goes.. Today was a beautiful day here so my family decided to take a little boat ride out to the ocean.. We started out doing good and then oops my husband didnt stay in the channel and we hit the grass flats.. We just didnt hit them we got stuck to where our boat didnt move.. we were in about a foot of Water and werent going nowhere.. My kids were freaking out and my husband started getting rude... Once you get stuck on the flats the only way of getting off is to get out and push until you get into deeper water or you wait for high tide to come back in... Well, we tried both.. First he tried to get out and push but it was hard to move the boat bc of being grounded.. So he started on the mean kick and saying that I was the fattest in the boat and that my fat ass is causing us to be stuck there.. it was very degrading and embarrassing since my kids were in the boat.. So for the next 3 hours all I heard from the family was how fat I was and needed to get out of the boat and push.. I was like WTH... I am not getting out and why are you taking your stupidity out on me...

Here I am on my pre-op diet and doing really well.. my surgery is the 21st so I know I am heading in the right direction.. but after today I wanted to come home and eat the house.. thank god I didnt and just had a Protein shake with some dinner but I was still mad when we got back.. he never even said sorry for what he had done.. I feel like sometimes my husband holds me back on succeeding bc of his mean actions...

So here is my questions to you all... Does our husbands hold us back from succeeding in life bc of their mean behavior?? I could be the only one out there that has this issue but I really feel like our emotions and eating depend on how we are treated sometimes.. it has been a long 10 yrs of this.. I am ready to take charge and show him I can handle things when his dishes it out... sorry if this doesnt belong in a thread but just wondering if I am alone on this or are others out there with same issues...

I have been in your shoes. In fact a similar boat incident. We were out with all five of our kids, something broke in the shaft of the boat motor and we sat there. The wind was blowing hard and pushing across Lake Pepin. We tried to paddle against the wind but it was fruitless. My husband, I have since divorced him, so ex-husband was yelling at me and cussing me out. He was mad because I couldn't conger up super human strength to paddle a boat, with 7 people in it, against the wind. He said the most horrible things like "paddle you f******g fat b***h!" and "you're so f*****g stupid and useless". This was one of the millions of horrible things he said to me over the four years we were together. Also, I knew of his behaviors within one year of being together but I still married him. UGH! Eventually I found help through our local women's advocate program and got out. However, when I was with him I ate alot to try to drown the emotional pain with a food high. Didn't work, just got fatter and fatter. When I did finally leave him, I dropped 35lbs just from the stress. I followed that crappy relationship with more crappy relationships but I kept going to therapy. Eventually my therapist and I worked through my issues. Now I am happily married to a wonderful man. We married about a year and half ago. We met on Match.com. He has said some dumb comments without thinking but it's not out of meaness...it's just he didn't think how that comment could be taken in a negative way. He also suffers from obesity and is fighting his own demons about it. I am hear to tell you to get help. Get out of the relationship safely. Use your local women's advocate group to educate yourself. When you're ready, you will move on. I just know it. I knew it when I took that step towards leaving. It was scarey but I had support and I did it only because I had support. You deserve better, alot better! I didn't believe it before and you probably don't either....but you do deserve better. In a year from your surgery, I would love to hear you tell me that you didn't care what he thought of your weightloss and that you are just glad to be divorced from him.

Best wishes.

trust me, if you're not happy, your kids won't be happy. You deserve to be treated with respect. I was in a verbal and physical abusive relationship for years and made excuses for him when he didn't deserve it. I too was afraid to leave him because of my son, but trust me it was the best decision I have ever made in my life. It was hard, but I'm happy now with someone that does respect and love me the way that I deserve to be. Get skinny and leave HIM!

If you allow a man to speak to you like that in front of your children, how do you think they will treat their wives when they grow up? How do you think they will let their husbands treat them if they are girls? You are showing them that this is how adult relationships are supposed to be. Is this what you want for your children? I don't know your financial situation, but I think you should get as far away from that marriage as you can. Yes, kids need two LOVING parents who MODEL RESPECT. Your children aren't getting that in your home. They will do much better with one happy parent than two miserable ones.

Today is Sunshine's Mom surgery. Keep her in your thoughts and prayers!

Today is Sunshine's Mom surgery. Keep her in your thoughts and prayers! :smile1:

WILL DO!!!