I set my surgery for 1/04/2012 on 11/22/2011 and for the last several days have been caught up with work and school and the Holidays, not to mention the end-of-month at work. So I am setting here at 3:45 AM and I have soooo many thoughts going through my head. I am much more nervous than I suspected.

The posts about pain scare me. I really dont want to just hurt for days on end. However, that could be the end result for many co-morbid conditions associated with obesity and diabetes (not to mention asthma and a bad knee).

My Husband is scared, and I think that for me is the hardest thing right now. He is holding onto me, literally, almost every second he can. I looked up from paperwork tonight and he was just staring at me. He caught me following up on my pre-paid funeral arrangements (I am a pessimistic optomist) and he just looked, so, very...well, very.

(note: I didn't make the prepay arrangements for this, I have had them a long time. Not morbid at all, I used to be a Funeral Director and have since been a strong advocate to pre-pay and deciding on as many arrangements as one can so no one else will have to..).

My Sister will be in for the surgery. She flies in on the 3rd and leaves on the 10th. I am also going to encourage my Hubby to ask some of his closer friends to help him over the first few days. He is going to be so overwhelmed.

Looking back at this post, I think if one could summarize this in a question it would be : What type of support systems are out there for the Spouses?

Is there a WLS support group at your hospital or associated with your surgeon's practice? Perhaps hubby could attend 1 of those meetings with you. You could let him come here and read some of the pre and post-op threads. That would give both of you a realistic view of what to expect. You'll see lots of posts from people who are in the first few days post-op who have some pain, but then those same people come back a few days later and they are in much better shape. There are a few complications, but even those people usually say "I'd do it all again".

For me, the choice was easy. I was told "Lose the weight or die" and this was the right choice to make. I have watched a 52 year old aunt let obesity rob her of her eyesight, her mobility, and her independence over the last several years. She's had so many "minor" surgeries on her feet, her arms, her eyes from various complications of obesity and diabetes. This is the woman I used to party with. We'd go out and dance all night long and we both treasured our ability to take care of ourselves and others. Now, she's a shell of the woman she was. I do NOT want to be that person! So, my point is that you (general you) can have this ONE surgery and start improving the quality of your life and hopefully head off bad complications or you can stay where you are at and possibly have to have several surgeries for various complications.

I think that it's much easier to have one surgery and work the sleeve!

BTW, I like the term pessimistic optimist. I updated all of my estate planning before surgery and made sure I'd loved on all of my family and friends. I was prepared for the worst outcome and was truly shocked when I woke up in recovery!!

Good luck to you and hubby with your journey!!

Hi Lissa - "Lose the weight or die" that is basically what my fathers dr. told him about 40 yrs. ago. He had a young family with the 5 of us kids - he smoked like a chimney...he listened to the dr. and lead a good healthy life.

The analogy i'm trying to make, when you're overweight - just as being a heavy smoker - you have no chose but to lose weight in our case, or stop smoking - so you can live!!!

Yes, it is to the point that I know I am costing myself years.

About 6 months ago, a 37 year old diabetic in anothe office at work died due to diabetic complications. She could have been me - except she weight alot less! A1C in .2+/- of 5.0 for years, fit active, controlled - and then the complications set in. She was dead within 6 months.

I was floored, and I felt very small and scared - and wide awake and ready to fight harder - and yet very scared and small...