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Telling Family About Gastric Sleeve, Feeling Uneasy!



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So today I told my dad and sister that I'm in the process to get the sleeve. I wasn't going to tell anyone, but that got hard and I never intended it to be a secret. I need all the support I can get and the stress of keeping it to myself was really getting to me! So I decided to at least tell them, my dad was hesitant but I expected that. I think he'll put his doubts aside and support me as I go through the process. My sister was ok, didn't say too much but asked questions and such. I figured I'd feel better getting it off my chest but for some reason I kind of regret telling them! I don't know why I'm feeling this way because the response wasn't negative. It just feels different, like they will support me but they don't get why I'm doing this, or really care. Maybe I'm just sensitive because this is a huge change in my life and I'm super excited about it. So has anyone else had an experience like this? Or how did you deal with telling family or not telling family? I really appreciate any input! :)

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Hey there, I was sleeved a week ago so I have had some experience with a variety of reactions. When I told my mother she was very supportive. She's a heavy woman, so she gets it. Luckily, I live in a different country than my parents so she was delegated the task of telling my father. He asks questions when we talk but seems more curious than anything else. No judgement. My brother...well, he screamed at me!! What are you doing that for? You won't lose any weight that way...etc. We actually fought about it. I'm still not sure why he had such a negative reaction. He is now supportive and jokes that if all goes well with me, he might be next. I have two best friends. One is heavy, the other is not. As you can imagine the heavy friend was super excited and even admitted to being envious. The other didn't think I needed the surgery and said...I wish I could see what you see when you look in the mirror and slap it out of you!! (She has a crazy sense of humor) But, I explained to her that it is hard for her to understand being a size six and all. She asks how I am doing as I am still healing but it is now a non-issue.

In the end, this decision was for me. Their opinions and feelings about it are just that, theirs.

They are your family and they love you and when you need a shoulder to cry on or an ear to complain to, they will provide. Just focus on your new life. You will be so happy once all is said and done and you know what? Happiness is contagious!!

Take care!!

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I only told family and very close friends - so many people have a strong opinion on WLS and want to offer advice. A few people have guessed because I'm losing the weight, but I felt it was for my well being not to have people judge me, etc.

I hope you guys have great success - I'm six weeks post-op and have lost about 38 pounds - I hit a stall for three weeks. Had surgery 10/13/11, but since July 2011 I've lost 60 pounds. I was able to eat a little Thanksgiving food yesterday but I preferred the fresh items over anything heavy :-)

Good luck!

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Hey, I am having a similar issue with my family. I am in the very early stages of planning for my sleeve (like still need blood work and to talk to the psychologist). I told my mom, who had gastric bypass 2years ago and has lost over 100 pounds. As you can imagine she was thrilled got

me. But when I told my husband he thought I wad crazy. He says I shouldn't mess with my insides and thinks I should keep trying to lose the "natural way." but being diagnosed with pcos I feel I have run out of options and don't want to keep going like this. As many people have said, it is your choice for your life. And you only get one life. In the end, when everyone seen the massive change in your life for the better, only then will they understand why you did it. Good luck to you!

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Hi there! I just received insurance authorization Wednesday and am super excited. When I began the process, my husband was totally supportive and continues to be. My mother and brother were very nonchalant, which somewhat bothered me. My closest friends have been very supportive. Like the others have said, in the end, it's nice to hear opinions; however, this is your life. Those that love you will eventually come around when they see how happy you are. I thought everyone would be as excited as I was, but I have now concluded that my excitement should outshine everyone else's because this is ultimately for me! Good luck and don't take it too personally. I'm super sensitive and felt very similar early on.

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Thanks for all your input and sharing your experiences, It really helps to know you guys understand and have been in similar situations! Deeply appreciated :)

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I think it's a very personal medical procedure and I have only told my husband, mom and sister. I don't plan to tell my workout friends at my gym unless they specifically ask if I've had it done. If they ask me, I will tell them, if not I will keep it to myself. I have three grown children and I will not tell them either.

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how long did it take to get approved?

Hi there! I just received insurance authorization Wednesday and am super excited. When I began the process, my husband was totally supportive and continues to be. My mother and brother were very nonchalant, which somewhat bothered me. My closest friends have been very supportive. Like the others have said, in the end, it's nice to hear opinions; however, this is your life. Those that love you will eventually come around when they see how happy you are. I thought everyone would be as excited as I was, but I have now concluded that my excitement should outshine everyone else's because this is ultimately for me! Good luck and don't take it too personally. I'm super sensitive and felt very similar early on.

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how long did it take to get approved?

My information was submitted on a Wednesday and I received an approval the following Wednesday, so a week. I began the process back in March, but had 6 months of supervised weight assessments, psych eval, and nutritionist.

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i meet my surgeon on tuesday & thursday is my 6month mark!!! im praying to be sleeved by dec 20th!

My information was submitted on a Wednesday and I received an approval the following Wednesday, so a week. I began the process back in March, but had 6 months of supervised weight assessments, psych eval, and nutritionist.

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i meet my surgeon on tuesday & thursday is my 6month mark!!! im praying to be sleeved by dec 20th!

I really hope to be sleeved by the 16th. I ambitiously have planned a trip for NYE, which means being airplane ready. So hopefully I won't be in pain, wee too much pain by then. The airplane isn't the problem. I spend 2 to 3 days a week on a plane, for the last 2 years The movement is my biggest concern. Once I completed the 6 mos back in September, I was super ready. But, I hadn't finished with the nutrition meetings. I really believe I'm really gonna ,are myself sick with anticipation. I have to go Friday to pay and there isn't a pre op diet I'm aware of and the counselor has confirmed that once this is done, I should I have a date the next week

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i completed all my testing & submitted everything that needed to be completed. i assume that ill be getting my surgery date tuesday! i cant believe it!!

as far as flying, have u spoken to ur surgeon or dr about that? i read once that airplane rides can give you bloodclots & you def wanna be cleared for flying.

good luck to you! <3

I really hope to be sleeved by the 16th. I ambitiously have planned a trip for NYE, which means being airplane ready. So hopefully I won't be in pain, wee too much pain by then. The airplane isn't the problem. I spend 2 to 3 days a week on a plane, for the last 2 years The movement is my biggest concern. Once I completed the 6 mos back in September, I was super ready. But, I hadn't finished with the nutrition meetings. I really believe I'm really gonna ,are myself sick with anticipation. I have to go Friday to pay and there isn't a pre op diet I'm aware of and the counselor has confirmed that once this is done, I should I have a date the next week

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i completed all my testing & submitted everything that needed to be completed. i assume that ill be getting my surgery date tuesday! i cant believe it!!

as far as flying, have u spoken to ur surgeon or dr about that? i read once that airplane rides can give you bloodclots & you def wanna be cleared for flying.

good luck to you! <3

You are right. My dr is aware of my profession and all the travel involved, including air travel and told me 2 weeks would be fine. Of course I'm gonna take more time if I need it. This is just a little getaway for me and the hubby, but we are always getting away with all my travel, so it can be rescheduled. Luckily, I won't be back at work until the first of the year and I work from home so no biggie. I don't have any work air travel scheduled until the second week of January.

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oh ok! then u should be good! drs know best! :)

i work with kids so i would love to be sleeved either dec 19th or 20th so that i can automatically have off the following week! it just works out perfectly!! im praying

You are right. My dr is aware of my profession and all the travel involved, including air travel and told me 2 weeks would be fine. Of course I'm gonna take more time if I need it. This is just a little getaway for me and the hubby, but we are always getting away with all my travel, so it can be rescheduled. Luckily, I won't be back at work until the first of the year and I work from home so no biggie. I don't have any work air travel scheduled until the second week of January.

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When I told my family and in-laws, I got the exact opposite reaction from each of them than I expected. Those who have generally been positive and supportive were pretty negative, and the ones that I thought would be hard on me were just very accepting and curious. Go figure!

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

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        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

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        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
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