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Frustrated with Doctors



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Wondering if anyone else has had the same issue:

I am 5'3" and weighed 241 pre op and 233 on day of surgery (Aug 15, 2011). My surgeon asked me before and after surgery what my goal weight is and I told her it is 140 (which is still on the high side for my height). She immediately told me that that was unrealistic and I should be happy if I end up at 190 which ticks me off because I believe I would still be considered morbidly obese at 190. I went to my endo today and she said the same thing. How discouraging! I believe I will get to my goal weight and hearing them say I won't only makes me more determined but has anyone else had the same experience? I've read enough on these boards to see that many people reach their goal weight. Are they purposefully setting low expectations so that I won't blame them if I don't get to my goal? I am down to 210.2 which I am happy with 6 weeks out but I definitely don't need the negative reinforcement to my weight loss efforts that these comments bring ...

Thanks!

K :)

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Wondering if anyone else has had the same issue:

I am 5'3" and weighed 241 pre op and 233 on day of surgery (Aug 15, 2011). My surgeon asked me before and after surgery what my goal weight is and I told her it is 140 (which is still on the high side for my height). She immediately told me that that was unrealistic and I should be happy if I end up at 190 which ticks me off because I believe I would still be considered morbidly obese at 190. I went to my endo today and she said the same thing. How discouraging! I believe I will get to my goal weight and hearing them say I won't only makes me more determined but has anyone else had the same experience? I've read enough on these boards to see that many people reach their goal weight. Are they purposefully setting low expectations so that I won't blame them if I don't get to my goal? I am down to 210.2 which I am happy with 6 weeks out but I definitely don't need the negative reinforcement to my weight loss efforts that these comments bring ...

Thanks!

K :)

I wouldn't worry about what the doctor's say and go for what you want to get down too. Although that would be discouraging, prove them wrong!!! My sis-in-law was about your height and she has lost over 130 lbs so it is possible. Good luck dear!

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Thanks for the encouragement! I know it is only their opinion but you'd think that the surgeons who do this type of surgery would be more optimistic about the possibility of success...

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Psh, I am 5'3" and I was 229 on my day of surgery.... I am DEFINITELY not stopping until 120. I would disregard their pessimistic attitudes and just keep working that sleeve!

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Doctors can be bummers :( My PCP was really unsupportive as well. I would just "smile and nod" and then roll my eyes behind their backs. Get your inspiration from the amazing people on this board who have made their goals and are on their way to meeting them! Prove them wrong! My STAT's aren't far off from yours, I am 5'2" and I was 222 on surgery day. There is no WAY i'm stopping at 190!!

Chin up lady, you rock!

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I got exactly the same speech only I'm 5'1" and 240. He said that if I fall into the normal curve then I would be at 180-190. Hell, I think I could do that on my own.

Yes, I think they are covering their butts.

I am going to follow the instructions and get inspiration from this board. Look at how far you all have come!!

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I just realized you already had surgery! LOL Disregard the post below. Sigh

I have a different opinion. It would have bothered me greatly if my surgeon had such low expectations. It would make me wonder about his expertise, his post op care, the size of the stomach he will be leave me with etc

I am 5'4 and 233. I said I wanted to be 150 and my surgeon said that was very reasonable. At your height 190 pounds is ridiculously conservative, even if he is covering his bottom as others have mentioned.

I wouldn't just let this one go, if I was you. I would question him, ask some former patients and switch if necessary. I am drastic, I know, but this is serious surgery.....

Best wishes, keep us posted!

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Don't let them discourage you. Doctors talk in terms of statistics, not in terms of individuals. I had comparable starting stats. My doctor also said I should expect to get to about 170-180 & 150 would be the lowest he wanted me to go... that would still leave me overweight. At seven months out, I am about 10 pounds from the doctors lowest weight for me. I will confess that I hope to hit 125. Like others have said, you don't have this surgery hoping you will still be fat at the end. Set the goal that you want for yourself. Realize that you may have to adjust it... certain weights look different on people depending on muscle mass, etc. Keep eating right & EXERCISE! My weightloss has slowed, but it is still moving downward, mainly due to a lot of dedicated time at the gym. Good luck & know that you can do it!

Krista

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Thank you! You are ALL an encouragement to me as is this board. Reading everyone's inspiring stories means more to me than what the doctor says because I have seen the results that people have gotten. Keep on rockin' your sleeves :)

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I think I'm the shortest one here so far. I'm 5'0". At my initial visit with my Dr. in June I weighed 226. I'm now down to 204 and I'm still pre-op. Just following the diet advice I was given. Not really exercising everyday. My question is what would be a realistic weight for someone as short as I am? What do you guys think. My Dr. said he would like me to get to 140. But personally I think I need to be below that.

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These docs must be doing a lot of bands to be that discouraged about their own work!

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RickM - Funny you should say that because I am in Boston MA and insurance companies only started approving the sleeve very recently so most Dr's have only done a few. My doctor specializes in lap-band and also does a lot of RNYs. She said she had done quite a few vsg's as the first phase of a duodenal switch when she worked in another state. I don't know exactly how many the hospital has done (it is a major hospital and a Center for Excellence) but it can't be too many as they gave me a booklet for RNY pre & post op care & diet info. When I went back to the nutritionist for my 2 week appt. she gave me another RNY book that had been newly re-printed but they did not have sleeve books yet. At the initial orientation they do put all three options out there but it is still new.

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I think that we need to make up our own minds and go for what we feel is realistic for us. I started at 295 and I am a 5'6" male. When asked I said I wanted to be 170, my doctor said that it was attainable. I had gone to another program and that doctor said that I could "Maybe" get down to 225. I didn't like one thing about that program so I looked around for one that I felt comfortable with. I would suggest for anyone who is pre-op and looking at a surgeon in their area, to go to one of their support group meetings. There you will see real people and real results with that program. A good doctor wouldn't be afraid for you to do that. We had a daughter and dad come last month and the dad asked all of why we did it and would we do it again. 100% of the people said yes. Don't let what others, even doctors, stop you from what you think you can do. What is the doc going to do if you lose more than he thinks you could? Sew your stomach back? Get to the weight that feels right and is healthy for YOU!

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Wow. ::shaking my head:: I'd be at your doctors goal 6 weeks post op by those standards. If that were the case, why have the surgery?

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RickM - Funny you should say that because I am in Boston MA and insurance companies only started approving the sleeve very recently so most Dr's have only done a few. My doctor specializes in lap-band and also does a lot of RNYs. She said she had done quite a few vsg's as the first phase of a duodenal switch when she worked in another state. I don't know exactly how many the hospital has done (it is a major hospital and a Center for Excellence) but it can't be too many as they gave me a booklet for RNY pre & post op care & diet info. When I went back to the nutritionist for my 2 week appt. she gave me another RNY book that had been newly re-printed but they did not have sleeve books yet. At the initial orientation they do put all three options out there but it is still new.

The surgeon's and hospital's past experience does seem to make a difference, both on the outcomes of these procedures and on their expectations. My doc is primarily a DS guy, so he expects good results, particularly with relative lightweights like myself where he is used to seeing 90+% EWL as an average. His program is tailored from the DS program, but at least they do change the title pages! (There are differences inside, too, mostly simplifications from the DS requirements - my wife had a DS with him so I'm intimately familiar with that program and can see the differences.)

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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    • KimBaxleyWilson

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