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Need some good come back tips for the neg. people



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I know even though I have tried to keep this on the down low, there will be some people that will find out.

I don't do well with criticism. I want to be prepared this time. How did you handle it?

What are some good come backs to shut them up.

Thank you!

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Who says you HAVE to tell anyone? It's no ones business but yours! I wouldn't have even told my husband if he didn't have to see the bill. I am 2 months out and I just explain to those who ask that I spoke with a Dr that recommended a certain way of eating and I chose to follow his advice and have been fortunate enough to lose a few pounds and feel so much better. My Mother has asked a lot of questions but not because she suspects I've had surgery but because she would like to lose 20 pounds herself. My mother-in-law is suspicious but she knows that if I wanted her to know then I would tell her. Tell who you want but not because you feel guilty by not telling them. Good luck to you!

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How about

Well, you can kiss my A now before its to small for you to find!

;)

LOL.... Defiantly, I'm using that one! Love it..

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I know even though I have tried to keep this on the down low, there will be some people that will find out.

I don't do well with criticism. I want to be prepared this time. How did you handle it?

What are some good come backs to shut them up.

Thank you!

I think the best comeback if you choose to tell them is that you did this for your health and so you can be around to be with your family. There are always going to be some negative people, I choose not to be around them. You did this for you, not to please anyone else. I had my surgery one month ago and I feel great, it was one of the best decisions I ever made. You cannot please everyone, make yourself happy.

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If anyone asks that I did not tell about my surgery, then I'll just tell them that I made some lifestyle changes. They don't need to know any more than that. And, it's not lying because it is true - I am going to be making changes in my lifestyle.

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I would tell them that it was a decision that you made to take control of your health and everyone else has to make their own decisions. And if they keep going, tell them that you've already made your decision and you would appreciate their positive support...and if they cannot do that then you would appreciate them keeping their negative opinions to themselves!

Unless they have walked in your shoes...they haven't a clue. Arm yourself, but decide you feel great about you and your decision. Then....no one can toy with your emotions.

I am proud of what I did!! :) My sister said the most amazing thing too....she said she admired me because I had decided after a lifelong battle...to do whatever it takes to have victory. Woohoo!!! On to VICTORY!!!!!

:) Joan

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I told NOBODY except my husband for THAT EXACT reason!! My own mother doesn't even know!!

There is no way anyone could ever know unless I told them. How could they??? I lost 55lbs pre-op so, as far as they know I am on a diet!

I hate negative ignorant people and I would tell them to BITE ME!

Kelly :D :D :D :D :D :D

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The ones that I did tell are the ones I care about and care about me, close co-workers, friends and family. Everyone else when they ask about my weight loss I tell them the truth, I am on a high Protein and low carb diet with exercise. I don't know about their surgeries that they have had in their life and no need for them to know about mine. ;)

As for negative comments from those that do know, if its coming from someone overweight, just tell them that you understand their "feelings" on it and if they want your surgeons number for a consultation you would be happy to give it.

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I'm the opposite. I've told everybody!! lol...But I'll admit there are people that are negative. I was shocked that someone called me just the other day to tell me nothing but horror stories of others who did not fare well. I really think people's reactions reveal a lot about them. Of course people will be concerned for your safety going through the surgery but there is a line some cross with the negativity which makes you wonder why they have such an issue. I basically make a mental note of who those people are and keep moving.

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I know even though I have tried to keep this on the down low, there will be some people that will find out.

I don't do well with criticism. I want to be prepared this time. How did you handle it?

What are some good come backs to shut them up.

Thank you!

Hello,

I so admire your honesty and that you are addressing this issue now, and making your own choice. I wish 100% that I would have done what you are doing and had kept it on the down low. I realize now that it is no one's busines but mine and I do not have to share this like an open book.... I was influenced by my husband to tell people - his family.. he said it was like keeping secrets from his family and if I believe enough in the surgery, then I should tell them. I have regreted it ever since. I also told my best friend, who did everything possible to talk me out of it, told me how wrong I was, how she could help me lose weight.. blah, blah, blah... We each have to stand on our own two feet and be accountable for our actions, I made myself obese, I need to get myself out of this situaton and I so wish I would have kept my mouth shut about the surgery.

When people ask me now how I am losing so much weight, I tell them it is very, very hard... a daily battle of counting calories, carbs and excersing. After I say that, they pretty much dont care to hear any more!!!

Good luck, and congrats to you in making this choice

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My nutritionist recommended smiling really sweetly and saying "I'm sorry you feel that way".

But i have a problem apologizing for someone else's ingorance or meanness. So I think I'd smile and say "it's unfortunate you feel that way".

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I told everybody (even strangers) about my surgery, before and after. My surgery was 5/2 and I am so glad I did it. I read a while ago that a good response was "I'm not asking for your approval, just your support." I used this with one friend, and she was quick to support and stop the discouraging words. I was just saying to my daughter this morning that i want a t-shirt that says "ask me about my bariatric surgery". There is one that says "surgically altered freak" - I like that, but don't want to give the impression I've had a boob job.laugh.gif

I know even though I have tried to keep this on the down low, there will be some people that will find out.

I don't do well with criticism. I want to be prepared this time. How did you handle it?

What are some good come backs to shut them up.

Thank you!

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Thanks everyone, I think I will write up some que cards with these. I can whip them out as needed. LOL

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Here's what I've found works for me. When someone gives me a compliment, I simply reply "Thank You". You will not believe how this will get them to stop talking about it.

If someone is critical, I just shrug my shoulders. However, I haven't encountered much negativity really. I don't entertain it, I guess that's why. :)

You'll be ok, try not to worry too much about negative responses. What you are doing is 100% positive and you will know better than those people.

*hugs*

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

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        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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