feeling cheated

DOC · June 25, 2006

First let me tell you how proud I am of your accomplishments. You have done great and I would love to see pics!:confused:

As stated above, families are funny! ...NOT... Mine hadn't seen me since surgery and I lost 50 lbs and attended a family party. My dad and his girlfriend said NOTHING. They later told everyone they could tell how great I looked.... GO FIGURE.

You can pick your friends (which I have and they are healthy, happy, positive people who only want the best for me) but you can't pick your family!

I now accept them for who they are.... took me years to come to terms with it, but I can't change them. I get emotional support from others.

It is what it is!

tztmama · June 26, 2006

I didn't really get any comments from collegues at work until I lost 45-50 pounds. I think sometimes people don't "see it" until you are at a weight "they" approve of. I wondered the same thing------why hasn't anyone noticed? Then I thought "maybe cuz I'm still not at my goal". I don't know. What happened on your vacation would bother me..........I say put up some pics so we can give you feedback.

tmg0100 · February 1, 2008

This is so crummy, but there is a lesson there - one should never depend on other people for affirmation - one should never give others that much power in their lives. As an intelligent human being, you should decide on your own, from your own evaluation, how great you look. Your opinion is the only opinion that counts.

JAMESS · February 1, 2008

Kind of long we go on this cape trip with the same girls every year and theres a few heavier people well my friend lost 60 pounds by taking these pills working out and she looks the thinnest she has in like 10 years I have lost 74 pounds haven't worked out much well anyways they were ranting and raving about her and said nothing about me I know but I feel so jealous and cheating like hey what about me the whole weekend was like how did you do it what do you eat how much do you work out my own mother and sister have said nothing to me and went nuts about her I just don't get it I started at 250s and now weigh 180 why don't people comment about it I don't know I dont want to be jealous but enough was enough I want some credit too i quess.

I JUST GOT BANDED ON JAN 3. I HAVE TOLD NOBODY EXCEPT MY WIFE. I REALLY DONT WANT PEOPLE TO KNOW. IF I HAD YOUR PROBLEM, I WOULD BE HAPPY . MY IDEA WITH THE BAND IS TO NOT STAND OUT THAT MUCH AND LET THINGS FLOW. I HAVE ALREADY LOST 18LBS IN LESS THAN A MONTH. I FEEL HAPPY WITH MY DECISION, EVENTHOUGH I HAD A BMI OF 32.8 WHICH MEANS THAT I AM NOT THAT FAT TO BEGIN WITH SO PEOPLE WOULD REALLY CRITISIZE ME FOR DOING WHAT I DID, BUT I COULDNT STAND BEING FAT , SO I MADE THE DRASTIC DECISION. DONT WORRY ABOUT WHAT PEOPLE ARE NOT SAYING. IN TME YOU WILL BE THE TALK OF THE TOWN. YOUR FRIEND WILL NOT BE THIN FOR LIFE UNLESS SHE WORKS OUT THE REST OF HER LIFE , YOU WILL. THINK OF IT AS PERMANENT WEIGHT LOSS VERSUS TRANSITORY WEIGHT LOSS. GOOD LUCK

THATS THE MAIN THING THAT COUNTS

shortgal · February 1, 2008

Compliments can be like a double edge sword. If I say, "looks like you've lost some weight and you look good" then it could also be taken as, "you looked pretty bad before"....

I think because "lost" weight is so often "found" again, people are worried that if they comment when you lose and then you gain it back, they may feel they can no longer offer those "you look good" comments.

Honestly, with many of my friends, I just really don't care how much they weigh or what size they are etc. and many times I just don't really look at their bodies closely enough to notice a twenty pound difference, especially if I see them often. I would agree, it's harder for friends not to notice a weight loss greater than 30 pounds. Sometimes we are still wearing our larger baggy clothes and the weight loss is not as noticeable for that reason.

So as long as we know we're losing and on our way, that's all we can worry about.

Cerrin · February 1, 2008

OK My family, for the most part is pretty supportive. My brother who is a naturalist, eats only whole foods, is actualy the most suportive of me after the surgery. It is really odd hearing praise from a guy that always wanted to tell me how I should be eating and how I should be excercising. But is NOW great about telling me I am doing awsome and how prowd of me he is. That part is great.

My grandmother is the one person in our family that dosent know. And I will never tell her. She is the type of person to belittle you to your face and behind your back she praises you. Psycho in my opinion. She has never had something nice to say to me about me. but my Aunt tells me how she raves about my house,job, crafts I do, everything. it is hard to believe she ever has positive things to say about me because she dosent say them where I can hear.

So a lesson to myself is to remember to say nice things not only about people but to the people.

snowbird · February 1, 2008

I lost 65 pounds on Atkins a couple of years ago, then ran into a guy I used to work with. He hugged me and said, "You look just the same as when I last saw you (several years earlier). Just about broke my heart. I replied, "well, I guess that's the best you can hope for at my age!" but I have to admit it ticked me off.

So don't worry about it. You will have the last laugh when your diet-pill friend gains her weight back and you don't!

MOTOMOM · February 1, 2008

As long as your happy with your success who cares what others think or say. You have to be proud of yourself not wait around for others to be proud of you. Keep up the good work!!!