Why, oh why, didn't I think of this before?? I hope it's OK to post this here. I haven't been sleeved yet but I have started dieting in preparation. I've enjoyed everyone's stories, I've laughed and cried. I know we are all in search of the same goal. Everyday I look at the before and after pics. I read all the posts. Y'all are my inspiration.

It hit me like a ton of bricks this afternoon, so I thought I'd share a little. I'm 44 years old and life has been a roller coaster, just like my weight. My battle of the bulge is similar to many. I didn't get fat overnight. It was fast, but it wasn't overnight.

This is the biggest I have ever been. Yesterday, I thought I was 250#, but noooo, that was just cruel joke my scale played on me. I had just lost 10 pounds. I went to the doctor yesterday and he weighed me in at 262#. That can't be! I just lost 10 pounds, it should say 252#! That just added insult to injury. Damn scale! So actually I started at 272#. I realized I was staring 300# in the face, I was over half way there.......I just wanted to cry, it was tough holding the tears back. Anyway he made it better. Everything is gonna be OK, once I get my sleeve.

I am trying to prepare myself mentally for the upcoming changes. I've read things like head hunger and food addiction. I can relate to that. I LOVE food. I eat even when I'm not hungry. My life revolves around food. I've come to realize I'm a food addict. Food is my drug of choice. It satisfies me, it comforts me.

I'm no stranger to addictions. I really hate to admit this and probably shouldn't, but in my early 20's I had a nasty drug habit. I kicked it on my own and have been clean for 22 years and have never touched it again. Fast forward a few years and I married an alcoholic. That is a recipe for DISASTER! We have been together for 18 years. He has been sober for the last 6+ years. My husband wasn't your everyday drinker. He was binge alcoholic. He could go weeks or months and not touch a drink. But when he did, all hell broke loose. That's a familiar word. "binge". It was very ugly. I won't go into all that. He needed help. He tried "Antibuse", that didn't work. It was supposed to make him violently ill if he took a drink. It made him sick even when he didn't drink. AA didn't work, all that talk about drinking triggered him to want to drink. I was at the end of my rope. Nothing was working. I started researching, there had to be a way. Other people quit drinking. I quit drugs, why couldn't he stop drinking??? My research lead me to www.rational.org. OMG! that opened our eyes. It worked for us. He has been sober for almost 7 years. It can be used for ANY addictive behavior!! It's free. It can't hurt to try it.

I used it 3 years ago when I lost weight on Adkins. I got down to 160#. Major life upset and I let my eating get out of control AGAIN. My bad. Anyway, while I was vacuuming today, it all came back to me. I went back to the website and it was still there. I encourage anyone that needs help to take a look at it. I am starting to use it again today. It can't hurt. It is another tool that some may find useful.

Anyway here is the link and an explanation from their website. It was originally geared to alcohol and drugs but they found it works with all addictions and bad behaviors. The key is to change the words alcohol/drug with food/binging/overeating or whatever your vice is. Change the word abstinence to healthy eating. I know that it works and I will use it. It helped me to get a piece of paper and write it all down. It's not that long. Don't rush through it, think about what they are saying and let it sink in.

It makes so much sense. When you read it, it's like flipping a switch. It will hit home for some. If it works for you, it's awesome. It will only take about 15 minutes to read through it. Another tool for your weight loss journey..

www.rational.org (copy & paste the link)

This was taken from their website:

Quick Start on Rational Recovery

©2009, Jack Trimpey, all rights reserved.

There is enough information at this website for you to totally recover from any addiction, e.g., alcohol, crank, crack, heroin, opiates, sex and porn addiction, overeating, computer addiction, gambling, or other personal behavior that goes against your own better judgment.

• If you're drinking/using today, you won't learn much of anything. Come back in the morning or when you aren't under the influence.

• To quit your addiction you must first stop drinking/using long enough to learn AVRT®.

Quit Now For Life!

You now have access to Addictive Voice Recognition Technique® (AVRT®), a powerfully simple means to defeat any addiction, to any substance or behavior, in as short a time as you

like. The link below will guide you through the decision making process to total recovery, before you sleep tonight.

Go to www.rational.org , on the right hand side of the page click on the blue button that says CRASH COURSE ON ARVT

Before you click this link, however, observe your thoughts and feelings, positive and negative, about abusing food. Feel the hope, but notice the dread! Thoughts and feelings which support continued abuse are called the Addictive Voice (AV); those which support abstinence are you. When you recognize your AV, it becomes not-you, but "it," an easily-defeated enemy that has been causing you to abuse food.

Thanks for sharing. I am sorry about your difficult journey, but I am so happy that you will start a new chapter soon. I thought I would never get control of my food issues, but the sleeve has allowed me to. I love my sleeve! Congrats on you upcoming surgery!

Thank you. I feel like with a combination of the sleeve and various other tools I will make it.

We definetly need to use different tools to get where we want to be. Good luck on your journey and thanks for sharing your story.

Maybe my story can help someone else too.

I checked out that website and it's an interesting read. Thanks for sharing. Do you feel that the books are necessary or did you find the online "crash course" was enough? I'm still really intrigued by what I read. Thanks, again!

It really kind of makes sense, doesn't it? Amazing how it kinda sticks in your head after only reading it one time.

You really don't need the book. I bought the book for my husband. I read it and found that I preferred the website more. The book didn't really add that much. It wasn't a thick book LOL.

I hope it helps you too. The more you read it. the more it sticks with you. It is a powerful thing.