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Any other gay sleevers out there?



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Realy desire. Has been for sometime now

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I always liked women, had several crushes in fact...but always had male partners. Spent most of my adult life wondering too and wasted a lot of time being depressed about "wow, this is it, I'm married to a man & I will never get to experience having a female partner." Things didn't turn out well with my kids dad and after we broke it off, I dated women. I have been in a same sex relationship for almost 5 years now. Do I find people from the opposite sex attractive? Sure. Do I consider myself bi? Not really. My attraction doesn't really cross over to my sexual desire. I am attracted to women and my desires are to be with women. I had a really hard time in the beginning when I first "came out" to label myself. I don't care now because I am sure of who I am. People won't always understand, and that is ok. It is not your job to make everyone around you happy. I had to come to terms with that quickly because I received a lot of backlash from people around me.

My point is, if you have a desire, don't waste your time wondering. I didn't come out until I was 37. I feel like wasted so much time. I had the opportunity to have children and I love and cherish them deeply but I also spent most of their childhood depressed and unhappy. If you experiment and decide it's not for you, then at least you know!

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I thought my world would end for so long if I came out. I was from small town USA. What's interesting is my sister came out when I was in college, but I never thought id be able to. I was the perfect child. It was my closest guarded secret. But the week before surgery... I said fuck it and did my thing. Happiest I've been since I can remember.

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I too, came from a small midwestern town... and Catholic... and a mother who opening said disparaging words about 'the gays'... as I look back, I could have come out of the closet better, then I did, but I haven't looked back and have been happier ever since, along with my husband of over 2 years and my lover for the past 12 years... I am truly a lucky man, as he has supported me through my decision and my transformation. am also lucky to have family (yes MY FAMILY) and some friends that love and respect me... Even my dad is happy about my husband (a son, he wishes he had... as he is much more handy, when it comes to plumbing, electric and general fixer upping, than myself or my two brothers)... To you all, I am happy to ready about your successes as we share this journey we call life!

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......."People won't always understand, and that is ok. It is not your job to make everyone around you happy. I had to come to terms with that quickly because I received a lot of backlash from people around me.

Life is too short to have fks to give regarding other people's opinions of you. Frighteningly too short and getting shorter every day. The less time you have, the less you care about what other's think. People will get over it or they will not-neither has a darn thing to do with you! When I got a divorce and stepped out, by God, I didn't have time to wait on them all to catch up!

Same with WLS I suppose. Don't care what other's think. My give a fk cup is empty!

When people talk, they get bored and move on quickly. Bi can be a 'bad word" and growing up, lesbian was the a dirty word. I spent WAYY too much time thinking about *The Label*. Gawd, the label?? Really? I spent more time worrying about what some girl would think about my butt size, than exploring my ever-present desires. I honestly thought that lesbians would be more judgy about my body and that I wouldn't be able to distract them with sex. Hahahahaha. I know what I think when I see a naked girl, and it isn't "her butt is fat!", more along the lines of, "Yea! Boobs and I am about to have sex!". I would have saved SO much time if I had given up on the 'supposed to's' and the labels. To do it over again and really, really not GAF I would be almost an unstoppable force. My "label" is gay or queer or I simply say, "I only date women", if others address me as lesbian or whatever, I take it, no worries. To say Lesbian to me, negates the 13 year relationship I had with my my exH, it negates the small, small possibility that I might one day date a man again. Not saying I was only with him during our marriage, I am not saying I was totally happy with him and did not think about other women, but we did have a life, a child and I am not going to erase that.

But, to do it again. I would go for it earlier, much earlier. Been stronger for change in my life faster. Pull the bandaid off. Feeling kinda pervy for being SO attracted to women, as I am noticing the ones' the age I SHOULD have gotten a divorce and here I am a bit older.. Ha.

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......."People won't always understand, and that is ok. It is not your job to make everyone around you happy. I had to come to terms with that quickly because I received a lot of backlash from people around me.

Life is too short to have fks to give regarding other people's opinions of you. Frighteningly too short and getting shorter every day. The less time you have, the less you care about what other's think. People will get over it or they will not-neither has a darn thing to do with you! When I got a divorce and stepped out, by God, I didn't have time to wait on them all to catch up!

Same with WLS I suppose. Don't care what other's think. My give a fk cup is empty!

When people talk, they get bored and move on quickly. Bi can be a 'bad word" and growing up, lesbian was the a dirty word. I spent WAYY too much time thinking about *The Label*. Gawd, the label?? Really? I spent more time worrying about what some girl would think about my butt size, than exploring my ever-present desires. I honestly thought that lesbians would be more judgy about my body and that I wouldn't be able to distract them with sex. Hahahahaha. I know what I think when I see a naked girl, and it isn't "her butt is fat!", more along the lines of, "Yea! Boobs and I am about to have sex!". I would have saved SO much time if I had given up on the 'supposed to's' and the labels. To do it over again and really, really not GAF I would be almost an unstoppable force. My "label" is gay or queer or I simply say, "I only date women", if others address me as lesbian or whatever, I take it, no worries. To say Lesbian to me, negates the 13 year relationship I had with my my exH, it negates the small, small possibility that I might one day date a man again. Not saying I was only with him during our marriage, I am not saying I was totally happy with him and did not think about other women, but we did have a life, a child and I am not going to erase that.

But, to do it again. I would go for it earlier, much earlier. Been stronger for change in my life faster. Pull the bandaid off. Feeling kinda pervy for being SO attracted to women, as I am noticing the ones' the age I SHOULD have gotten a divorce and here I am a bit older.. Ha.

Lmao!!!! Omg this is so true!!! My biggest fear with women was that they wouldn't find me attractive and hello small boob land over here. And my shape is round so I just figured, who would think I'm cute, or even want to have sex with me when there are so many other women out there with a kick ass body! But then I realized ummm dummy why do you like imperfect girls if imperfect girls are so unloveable? I have never dated a female that was thin, actually I take that back I did date a thinnish girl but it has never been about being thin or thick for me so I don't know why I thought other women wouldn't find me attractive! There is more to a person than their looks, though I have to say my girlfriend is pretty hot . I am really happy now and my battles with depression are long gone. I am simply happy.

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What's everyone up too

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Getting my hair cut... Getting ready to leave in our cruise this weekend..

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Just working. Down nearly 30 pounds but scale stayed the same for a couple days. I know. I know. Don't weigh every day. Too hard not to.

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Stay strong n hard

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Preparing for appointment #5 on Wednesday. Only one more to go after this, and then submitting to insurance...

"When all is said and done, usually more has been said than done. "

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One more here!

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Has anyone had n experience with a ts or cd feel free to pm me

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In need ! Anyone else

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What's up @@kwyant1976

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      1. LeighaTR

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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