I started this thread a long time ago (are you a closet bandster?) There were so many great posts on this thread.

http://lapbandtalk.com/showthread.php?t=10035 I would like to follow up with a few questions.

I wanted to say Hi to everyone, I'm finally back. I was due to have the band in Nov. '05 but my grandfather got cancer:cry , I chose to put it off to take care of him in his finaly months. He has since passed & I'm getting back on track. I met with the Dr. on Monday and now I'm awaiting the date.

I'm just thinking it's been awhile and I'm sure many who responded to the post before have now been banded. Did you end up telling anyone? I'm still sticking to just telling my husband. My friends and family are so against WLS. If I go ahead and tell them it will be one of the biggest mistakes of my life. I'd be under a microscope 24/7.

To those of you who chose not to tell anyone or just one person. What did you give your friends and family the reason to why you were in the hospital? I know some may have not had to do this, But I have 2 children that will see that I have had surgery and they will tell the world (lol). I'm trying to think of something that will cover me. It may just be too obvious to some people that all the sudden I'm not eating as much or going out for drinks on Thursdays, like I used to. What type of surgery could I tell them I've had? Gosh.. I'm not a good liar... :help:

It makes it even harder because I'm very secretive about WLS for a few reasons. My husband it a politician, I don't want the neg. thoughts that some people may have against WLS affect him and my family is so critical of ME and my weight problem.

Any suggestions would be great!. I welcome any comments, but please don't bash me and tell me I'm shallow. I am anything but that, really. I need to start thinking about me and forget about everyone else. It's just harder than I thought it would be.. *Don't get me wrong, I'm not a shallow person nor am I ashamed of getting the band. I just don't want to be judged or treated differently because I made a decision that will help my health. I don't want to be in a wheel chair so young in life. I'm 34 years old and my doctor told me I have a skeleton of a 60 year old.<!-- / message --><!-- sig -->

Thank you, in advance.

Only my husband and 2 children (15yrs & 12yrs) know about my upcoming surgery.

Because I have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome I'm telling people that I'm going into hospital to have laproscopic surgery on my ovaries.

Well, I for one more, am feeling better about being a closet 'bandster', having read all your responses.

My parents are both gone and I just don't feel like divulging my surgery to my inlaws. I love them very much, I know they respect me a great deal, but they just don't have to know about my insides and out.

I have chosen to keep this to my husband, a friend who is banded and a friend who I trust and supports me completely.

I have 3 precious children, aged, 6, 8 and 11 who I choose not to tell. I just feel like they are too young. I have kept our meals clean and so far all are all thin, very healthy and they get a lot of exercise. If one day I feel like they would benefit from my experience, then I will tell them. I also had breast reduction surgery. I really didn't think my children would benefit from knowing that either. Again, if in the future any of my kids would benefit from such information, I will be more than happy to share.

I don't work outside of the home, so I can't see too many people questioning me, pointedly. And quite honestly, I can't understand why people are so darned nosey.

I am not keeping this to myself to be deceptive, I am just a very private person and this is my journey.

I feel like most, it's no one's business. I've had people to ask me what have you done to lose the weight and I tell them there is no secret, you must eat less and move your body. I watch what I eat and I go to the gym 5/6 days a week.

The weight loss has been slow so most people are just starting to notice the weight lost. Well it's been over a year now and 83lbs later for people to notice, are they blind or what!! Anyway, I had no thought of telling anyone other than my immediate family and the rest, to bad.

Last thing, surgery is a very private thing, why would you need to tell them what it's for? It's none of their business. Don't feel bad about not sharing your business. Since you husband is in politics that all the more reason to keep you surgery to yourself.

Don't feel bad or feel like you owe anyone other than your husband anything, he is the one that will be sticking with you and cheering you on. The others will properly be waiting on you to fail, not all but most.

Good Luck!

Thanks so much.. I keep coming back here to read all the replys and I feel so much stronger about what I am.

Good luck to everyone else who is going through the "closet' with me. In the end, we may not tell many people but we all have each other for support.

I've still only told my close family and 2 close friends. I just don't want people to scrutinize me and what I eat. It is something I did for myself, not for anyone else.

Kristin

I started out determined to keep it a total secret. So far I've told: 2 friends, husband, and my Dad and his wife. Even that many people feels like a lot. But no one at work knows, including my brother who I work with. And my Mom and her husband don't know. That's pretty huge for me. But really, I'm just choosing to avoid the judgement of the naysayers or the people who might poilce my every move.

Be careful who you tell, I only told my coworkers (i work in a drs office), and 5 close family members. Now all of my coworkers are paranoid over everything that i do and eat, and let alone if i have an episode. My grandmother who was ok w/ my moms bypass is totally on my case every day about food and tons of other problems.

my excuse for the sx is a laparoscopy for ovarian cysts and endometriosis. I currently had the diagnosis and already had 2 sx for it, and everyone feel for it!!! I just told them my ovaries were a little worse than usual and the dr had to make 4 incisions, and no one sees under my bra so theyll never know.