Dear VGS friends:

Even though we have never met, you all feel very close to me. For months, I lurked here reading of your successes, and of your pain and fears and even some failures.

You were the "wind beneath my wings" that led me through the months of filling out paperwork, fighting with insurance companies, going through endless medical tests.... and finally, I got approval, found a great surgeon, and my surgery is one week from today.

But now... I am suddenly TERRIFIED. I think that I must be out of my mind. WHY WHY WHY can't I just go to Weight Watcher's and do this slowly but surely? Of course... the answer comes back.. BUT YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOUR TIMES ALREADY.

I am just so scared... not so much of dying in the procedure, but of being sick and in pain and throwign up and becoming a "food freak" for the rest of my life. I am terrified about the pain and throwing up.

Now, a new twist, my husband is really upset with me. I didn't tell him about this until I got all the approvals, because I knew he would go ballistic... he is a kind of medical phobic.

I really didn't expect him to take it so hard... he was yelling at me that "my whole life is lie" and I am a liar, and hid things from him... which I DID, because I feel it's my body, and my decision... not h is.

Now I feel I have no support whatsever, and that I would be nuts to try and go through with this. I am so lost tonight, just heartbroken and full of uncertainty and fear.

Tell me: Is there anyone out here who has had the Sleeve anyway, even in the face of a disapproving spouse or partner,? And, how did you get through the times when you were weak and sick???

I am so scared... thinking of cancelling the whole thing and just getting it over with and becoming really fa t and depressed.

I am a mess.. sorry sistas... I hope yuo all have a better Thanksgiving than me.

Your husband is being a dick. Period. You are not a liar, it IS your body and you can decide for yourself what you want and need, you don't need anybody's approval, esp a husband who has an issue with the surgery, not you. Do NOT let anybody eff with your mind, it's hard enough to arrive at this decision without others putting in their 2 cents of which they know nothing about.

Dear TNTRANSPLANT:

I was re-reading old posts and just had to update you. I think your post is the best oe, it's so true, so honest. And wanted to let you know that I did go ahead and barrel through with my plan, arranged my own transportation and hired a woman to "check me out" of the hospital and so forth.... and it was all SO SO worth it.

For one thing, I think that in a way, my "cussed independance" caused my husband to look at me in a new way, as my own person who doesn't crumple in a heap if he disapproves, and is willing to fight for what I want. That's good for both of us!!

But I have to tell you something funny.... now, three weeks out and 20 pounds lighter, all the sudden my husband is making comments like, "HEY, where'd your butt go? You have a flat rear end now." and... "Wow, you look GREAT today.." so his mind is opening up a little bit. He is starting to ask questions about my diet and things like that. Water under the bridge I know, but I do believe that you can't hold grudges and be happy, so I'm willing to overlook his BAD BEHAVIOR in this situation. But I am SURE GLAD that I stood him down and got my sleeve!

Thanks, and happy Christmas!

Cinderella

Dear TNTRANSPLANT:

I was re-reading old posts and just had to update you. I think your post is the best oe, it's so true, so honest. And wanted to let you know that I did go ahead and barrel through with my plan, arranged my own transportation and hired a woman to "check me out" of the hospital and so forth.... and it was all SO SO worth it.

For one thing, I think that in a way, my "cussed independance" caused my husband to look at me in a new way, as my own person who doesn't crumple in a heap if he disapproves, and is willing to fight for what I want. That's good for both of us!!

But I have to tell you something funny.... now, three weeks out and 20 pounds lighter, all the sudden my husband is making comments like, "HEY, where'd your butt go? You have a flat rear end now." and... "Wow, you look GREAT today.." so his mind is opening up a little bit. He is starting to ask questions about my diet and things like that. Water under the bridge I know, but I do believe that you can't hold grudges and be happy, so I'm willing to overlook his BAD BEHAVIOR in this situation. But I am SURE GLAD that I stood him down and got my sleeve!

Thanks, and happy Christmas!

Cinderella

Cinderella...you ROCK girl! Congratulations on believing in yourself and moving forward with your decision. Others who are on the fence should read this post and see your turnaround. It's really amazing to see the difference in tone in the postings at the beginning of this thread to the ones post-surgery. Even your font is excited...hahaha. CONGRATULATIONS again and I'm so glad your hubby's attitude has improved.

Laura

As I was reading from the beginning of your post, now down to this section, I was getting angrier and angrier...until I hit the update! WHOOOHOOO. I'm so proud of you for going ahead and getting the sleeve. You are very, very brave, and I'm so glad you took control of YOUR life this way. You're husband loves you, this I know. He's just scared of CHANGE. Change in your attitude, sexiness and self assurance. How will YOUR choice effect his lifestyle. This is just the way most men think, then they come around, and realize that "hey, it's not so bad", and they fall into step with you and once again, you "jive".

Congratulations on making your brave choice. I could hug you!!!