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Almost supportive mom...



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Hello,

My mom was NOT supportive at first. She was not happy with me. She told me that I had lost the weight before many times and I could do it again. I told her that that's the problem. I have lost it over and over and over again only to gain it back plus more. I needed something to help control what I ate and not feel hungry. I told her she raised a smart girl and I had been researching every aspect of this surgery for over a year. She still didn't like it but was more supportive. (She really flipped out when I told her I was going to Mexico to have it done. I live in Montana). But in the end she's ok with it now.

Sharon

I should tell mom to be glad I'm doing it locally where she can be there!

And yeah, they just can't get the losing the weight isn't always the hard part, it's keeping it off.

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Funny how Mums tend to react in such a similar way in different parts of the world....

My mother had exactly the same reaction and even dad (he's a doctor, can you imagine that?...) reacted badly when i first mentioned what I was intending to do. But then I started thinking, my mother never had weight problems in her life, she goes everyday to gym, she's very slender and wears a size 6... how could she ever understand how miserable my life was before I had my band? maybe I was just asking the impossible from her... knowing that she loves me and that she cares for me is all i needed to know and I live happily with that.

niki

Nice to know some things are indeed constants!

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Mom or no Mom people who are not addicted to food do not understand what kind of world we live in. Commercials on TV are not torture to them while on a diet, They don't wake up thinking about food, they don't go to bed thinking about food. They don't understand that EVERYTIME we eat our brains are saying "should i be eating this" If they love you no matter what they will support you with your decision. My mother is skinny but she struggles just as I do everyday. My father does not support me and has not talked about it once to me. I am leaving in his court to take the i-nish-i-tive(speeling sucks ) to find more about it.. I guess if he doesn't ask he won't know when I get it done. It sounds like your mom is just worried... she will come around.. good luck

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These stories confirm that I did the right thing for me...I didn't tell her. I didn't want any opinions but mine and my DH.

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These stories confirm that I did the right thing for me...I didn't tell her. I didn't want any opinions but mine and my DH.

I never even thought to not tell her, but since she lives in the same city it would be hard not to, and harder when she found out later and I hadn't told her beforehand.

DH did kind of soften the family up, they've seen his weight loss and he told/tells anyone who will listen about the surgery. So they are familiar with it at least.

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LOL - here you go:

Tell your mom you've decided to have surgery in Mexico.

She'll be THRILLED to support your local surgery after that shock!

LOL

Don't freak out people - I WAS BANDED IN MEXICO and I know it can be a safe, less expensive, alternative . . . . . but I also remember MY mother's first reaction on hearing I was having surgery out of the country! lol

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I am a single mom, and most of my friends are guys (who I really don't discuss weight issues with)... So that leaves me with my mom and my sister and neither one was/is supportive in any way. In fact it almost feels like they are hoping that I fail. (look at my ticker, they are getting their wish)

Kathi, I don't believe for a minute they are getting their wish. Your journey has just begun my dear. Stay on the path and the weight loss will follow.

hugs

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Donna - Exactly! I have no problem at all with the choice to go out of country, but I know my momma sure would.

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I am a single mom, and most of my friends are guys (who I really don't discuss weight issues with)... So that leaves me with my mom and my sister and neither one was/is supportive in any way. In fact it almost feels like they are hoping that I fail. (look at my ticker, they are getting their wish)

The ticker, the amount you lose is only one measure. I know it's the one we all care about the most deep down, but you took such a good step in getting the surgery. :clap2: From all I've read, it's not a quick fix at all, it takes time to get this tool adjusted right for us, and to figure out how to make it work. I think the cool thing is once we have the surgery, the band is there. Waiting for us to figure out how to best use it.

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Lisa25,

The way I look at it is that you're a GAW (Grown Ass Woman) :confused:). If you've been dieting an exercising all this time and haven't lost and kept the weight off by now, you're probably not going to unless you suffer some long-term illness (God forbid).

Although having your mother's support would be great, if she can't give it, and you're tired of hearing the same record repeated, tell her it's an OFF-LIMITS subject. I've had to do that with my Mom a time or two in areas related to my life.

For the record, my Mom actually recommended Gastric Bypass to me many years ago. Then, pulled back her support once her own Mother got stomach cancer and had to have the majority of her stomach removed, but not rerouted. She saw her struggle and didn't want that for me.

Now, that I've decided on the band, she's not fully supportive, but she also knows that I'm a GAW who, in the end, will make the best decision for my life with or without her support. I have no doubt both your mother and mine will eventually lend their whole-hearted support.

One more thing . . . if you don't want to issue the "hush stop talking to me about that" order to your Mom, you could always allow her to become more involved and knowledgeable about the banding process to ease any concerns she may not be sharing with you.

Have a great day you GAW you!

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Lisa25,

The way I look at it is that you're a GAW (Grown Ass Woman) :confused:). If you've been dieting an exercising all this time and haven't lost and kept the weight off by now, you're probably not going to unless you suffer some long-term illness (God forbid).

Have a great day you GAW you!

LOL- I love it!:high5: Thanks from one GAW to another.

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This is why I haven't told my Mum about my upcoming surgery.....I'm sure she just won't understand and i don't want her making a big issue over it

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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    • KimBaxleyWilson

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