Who deserves THAT part of me and you?

[BZButterfly79 19]

Tonight I read the post about to tell or not to tell. For awhile I have been in that same place, wondering, planning, who, when, and where to tell. What will X, Y, and Z think when they see me having lost so much weight(I am pre-op), will they lift up my shirt to check for incision scars...they will not possibly believe I could have done it on my own(notice self defeating talk). If they ask(whomever they might be) do I admit it or just say: "I took charge of my life and hired a trainer!". Well, this is so difficult for one I though of having this procedure while my husband was deployed next year as a "welcome home gift" I certainly don't want him seeing me looking like death after surgery with drains on me, eating baby food and I don't want to have to explain to my kids that I had so little self control I had to be operated on... I decided to tell my husband because if something happened to me since he would be raising our kids he deserves to know and hopefully he would want to support me, the kids I have not decided on yet they are little not sure if it is a talk to have at this time. That is my immediate family then there is everybody else and the friends and co-workers. So this is what my post is really about. Who do I OWE that to...such an intimate and very painful end and new beginning of my life BUT to GOD and myself. I just don't feel like I need to be treated like ham at the deli or cheese for that matter. The only thing want to focus on is the rainbow the yellow brick road, because nobody who dares to ask me about my weight has truly been there or walked a mile in my 10 1/2 wide shoes(try finding that). Nobody felt the lack of air, the sleepless nights, the looks and stares, the feeling of my self defeat after my next cool diet failed. They certainly weren't there when making love with my husband I prayed my belly wouldn't get in the way, that my back would stop hurting. I can't forget the times when I attempted to play with my children only to feel like bricks were on my chest and I had to keep smiling so they wouldn't see my pain. Hiding in photos, hiding from photos, hiding from myself! Is there a more degrading to self way to live? I don't think believe there is and I don't owe THAT to anyone. I hear about people who after the weight is gone they become part of the skinny world and suffer from selective amnesia, every person who like myself is overweight deserves to know where I came from...and that hopefully a light at the end of a dark cold tunnel showed up and I certainly will want to share. I will not forget where I came from because it is too easy to go back there are too many people suffering because of this slow creeping dark disease which is obesity. They DESERVE to know all others I am giving them something to talk about...a little mystery to figure out.

[hopeandfaith 6]

AMEN BZBUTTERFLY AMEN!!!

[mp8btpc 33]

I am applauding!

[feedyoureye 3,087]

Thoughtful!

[Queengamez 19]

love it!!

But for me, my husband knows because he his here with me daily and I need some support! My son is 1 and as of right now he doesnt know whats going on but I'm sure once I'm home and i cant hold him or pick him up he'll pick up on mommy isnt feeling good...i've also told two of my aunts one is trying to be supportive and one not so much...besides that once i get home from my surgery my immediate family will know and as of friends I'm only telling the ones i know that will be supportive!

MY MOTHER IN LAW WILL NOT KNOW UNLESS MY HEALTH IS IN DANGER!!!!

[rain 2]

Right ON, BZButterfly, as they say in the little rascals.. YOU SAID A MOUTHFUL. I just made a similar post to the end of TO TELL OR NOT TO TELL about my fear of telling my husband, and how I am thinking of what story I can tell him... since he is so disapproving of my freeing my body from this fat suit I've worn all my life. You totally DO deserve a new life, and so do I.

Let's make a deal, if you don't give up on this dream, I won't either.

. Hiding in photos, hiding from photos, hiding from myself! Is there a more degrading to self way to live? I don't think believe there is and I don't owe THAT to anyone. I hear about people who after the weight is gone they become part of the skinny world and suffer from selective amnesia, every person who like myself is overweight deserves to know where I came from...and that hopefully a light at the end of a dark cold tunnel showed up and I certainly will want to share. I will not forget where I came from because it is too easy to go back there are too many people suffering because of this slow creeping dark disease which is obesity. They DESERVE to know all others I am giving them something to talk about...a little mystery to figure out.

[2Fluffy 0]

My surgery is December 1, and I have told ONLY the 4 people in my life that I know will support me, encourage me, and KEEP THEIR MOUTHS SHUT. If, at some point, I decide to tell the 'whole truth,' then that should be MY decision. I've read several posts on here by people whose families/friends spread the good news for them, and I don't want that. So I told my awesome husband of 35 years, my adult son, my mother, and my best friend. That's it. Everyone else has been told I'm on a liquid diet for a month (pre- and post-op) and then will have food re-introduced at my doctor's discretion, starting with very soft food like a baby. I told them I am relearning how to eat properly, and I'm starting from the beginning. That is the truth. I just left out the tiny little part about removing almost my ENTIRE FLIPPIN' STOMACH!!!!! WHAT?!?!?!?! Oh sorry.... got a little carried away there.... breathe.... breathe..... I'm okay now.... Where was I? Oh yeah - the truth but not the whole truth. I can live with it.

[motley 0]

Well, I haven't had surgery.....yet! But I haven't told any one but my husband, Dad and son. As of right now, I choose to tell only those 3. I know all of them will support whatever decision that I make. As far as my co-workers go.....I am choosing to not tell any of them. If they ask I will tell them I am just watching what I eat. Portion Control. Or I will use one of my best friends lines, I just quit eating everything that I like! It's not a lie!! If its an obese person that asks....I will probably tell the truth. My husbands friends wife lost a ton of weight told me she had been eating only yogurt!! Yeah, right!!! I know now that she had some sort of WLS. I believed her at first. But now going through all of this.....I know she had probably RNY. But that's ok. Its her decision to tell me or not and I can respect that......however, I damn near stocked my fridge with yogurt until I was sick of it because of her.

[Billy363627 15]

Wow !!! I love it!

[JennChap 38]

I have told everyone! lol I wanted feed back early on (Im still early on) and wanted to see what people thought. I was scared and unsure after meeting with my surgeon I decided I wanted to go through with this so now I try to just talk to those who are supportive everyone is nice about it but I can tell there are a few who think im going "too far" but those are also people who have never had to battle with their weight. Im not worried about what anyone with Im hoping its smooth sailing so my sister will do it too!