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nervous mother



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Hello, My son age 36 and over 350 lbs. has seen the Vertical Sleeve procedure and has seriously decided to have the surgery. He has no insurance so I will help support his efforts. He is selling his cherished red Corvette to finance this surgery. He has tried everything and really wants to do this. He is considering a Doctor at Tulane in New Orleans. Does anyone know a doctor in OHIO. Like at Cleveland Clinic or Ohio State. He wants to do outpatient and that is a worry. He likes to drink, have a beer or three on the week-ends -can he do this - he fights the hunger hormone and thinks he can give up the food --why can't he just try eating only 4 oz. of food every two hours --I really worry about what if it doesn't work and he goes back to eating more than the small amount? It is the Mom intuition I guess --can anyone lessen my fears? He is a very smart person, successful in sales, overall around great guy, except for his weight. Can anyone give me a better perspective on this? Thank you so much. Momma Barb

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Is he located in Ohio? Is that why you are leaning for surgery there? Unfortunately, I do not have any experience with dotors in either Ohio or New Orleans. Hopefuly others on here will.

If he has truly tried everything, I doubt eating only 4 oz every 2 hours is going to do the trick. He needs the help of the sleeve "tool" to modify his hunger and provide that full sensation that he does not appear to be having.

As far as the beer, have you talked to him about this? Alcohol is not a no-no forever, but he will probably find he does not enjoy beer post-surgery. The bubbles make many people (including me) uncomfortable and over-full.

I appreciate your motherly concern. I would suggest doing more research on your own by putting Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy in your search engine. Read everything you can so you can have an educated discussion with your son. Has he gone to a seminar? If so, maybe he can go again and take you with him. If not, I would highly suggest that he find a local surgeon (even if he is not interested in using him) who gives seminars and listen to what the surgeon has to say.

We are also here to provide information and our own personal experiences. Best of luck with your research.

Edit - I did have the surgery outpatient. I know that scares a lot of people, but for me, it was a great option. Sometimes surgeon's say outpatient, when it really means 23 hours or less (which means a bed for the night). Your son can talk to his surgeon to find the exact definition.

Edited by MINI-Me

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Hi Momma Barb -- I don't know about surgeons in Ohio, but I can tell you what it's like having the sleeve. I weighed 303 lbs. when I got the sleeve almost 8 weeks ago. I have been obese most of my adult life -- I had gotten to a point where I was accepting the fact that I would be morbidly obese all of my life -- and that pushed me to the point that I considered weight loss surgery.

I can tell you right now, I have very little hunger. I occasionally get hungry when I haven't eaten for hours, but even then I don't have an overwhelming urge to eat. It's like that part of my brain was switched off somehow -- and I love it!!

Now, I was never a big alcohol drinker to begin with (chocoholic is my problem) -- but I do know that he won't be able to drink for quite a while and then after that, when/if he does drink, it will affect him much faster than it used to. Frankly, if I'm not missing chocolate, he might not miss his beer!

Many people do the sleeve on an outpatient basis - many people have very little to no pain following the surgery. I was not one of them, but then again I am 46 years old and I think that contributed to it.

I can tell you this -- and I think it's true pretty universally for most sleeve patients -- I have NEVER regretted getting the sleeve -- I truly believe it is saving my life, making my family's lives that much better, making me a happier, more healthy person.

I hope I have answered most of your questions - others will probably want to chime in as well -- I think it's wonderful that you are being so supportive of your son -- a lot of people on this board do not get their parents' support and it really hurts them. :) Take care!

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I am shooting this in because it came to mind, and mean no offense at all. Some people who get Weight Loss Surgery replace their 'addiction' to food with something else. If beer is more than just an enjoyable, take it or leave it indulgence... it could escalate to a real problem. Just something to keep a heads up about. I am getting sleeved in January, and am very excited about it. He will have to do the work, but the sleeve will help make his efforts pay off and stay off. Its very nice that you are a little worried and supporting him in his efforts. Education is everything in making the right decision. Has he thought about going to Mexico to get sleeved? Good Drs and a good price. Perhaps he wouldn't need to sell the car...Im sure he would look very nice in it after losing all that weight!

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I am shooting this in because it came to mind, and mean no offense at all. Some people who get Weight Loss Surgery replace their 'addiction' to food with something else. If beer is more than just an enjoyable, take it or leave it indulgence... it could escalate to a real problem. Just something to keep a heads up about. I am getting sleeved in January, and am very excited about it. He will have to do the work, but the sleeve will help make his efforts pay off and stay off. Its very nice that you are a little worried and supporting him in his efforts. Education is everything in making the right decision. Has he thought about going to Mexico to get sleeved? Good Drs and a good price. Perhaps he wouldn't need to sell the car...Im sure he would look very nice in it after losing all that weight!

Thanks for the reply - it helps so much -he really doesn't depend on alcohol - so maybe he will be ok -- Mexico -loks good online, but would need to talk to many!!! Just not trusting of going out of the country --but sure is cheaper. Yes he would look good in the car -but I think he needs to make the sacrifice -then buy another one (I can't drive the 6 speed) Ha!! Thanks

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Hello, My son age 36 and over 350 lbs. has seen the Vertical Sleeve procedure and has seriously decided to have the surgery. He has no insurance so I will help support his efforts. He is selling his cherished red Corvette to finance this surgery. He has tried everything and really wants to do this. He is considering a Doctor at Tulane in New Orleans. Does anyone know a doctor in OHIO. Like at Cleveland Clinic or Ohio State. He wants to do outpatient and that is a worry. He likes to drink, have a beer or three on the week-ends -can he do this - he fights the hunger hormone and thinks he can give up the food --why can't he just try eating only 4 oz. of food every two hours --I really worry about what if it doesn't work and he goes back to eating more than the small amount? It is the Mom intuition I guess --can anyone lessen my fears? He is a very smart person, successful in sales, overall around great guy, except for his weight. Can anyone give me a better perspective on this? Thank you so much. Momma Barb

Thanks -- all the replys help alot! He has been to the seminars and I have watched alot online.

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I think it's great that you are involved and looking into this. The more support we have, the better, and your son is fortunate to have you.

My mother was also nervous aobut my doing this, as was my hubby. They thought I would somehow sabatoge myself and go back to my old eating habits. I got angry at them before I realized, I always did that before - why would this be different?

This is different because this wasn't the same old thing. This was a serious step, which I do not regret. I am only 5 weeks out, but I am finding that I don't get hungry, and I eat such small portions, that even if I did cheat, I am not sure how much damage I could do, calorie wise.

My tastes have changed and I now crave meat, and do NOT want sweets.

But the best part is I realize I WILL get thing and I WILL reach my weight loss goals. I never truly thought that before - I always had a little voice in my head telling me I wouldn't do it.

I don't know any Dr's in Ohio, but you should be able to find a good one through research. I know many people have gone to Mexico and been successful, but it scares me. The biggest concern to me is "after care" - many people who have had the procedure in Mexico don't get proper after care, aren't told how to eat. I have personally seen several people who have had sleeves leak because they tried to eat food right away. So make sure that your son does the research on proper eating after so that he doesnt have any complications.

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I think it's great that you are involved and looking into this. The more support we have, the better, and your son is fortunate to have you.

My mother was also nervous aobut my doing this, as was my hubby. They thought I would somehow sabatoge myself and go back to my old eating habits. I got angry at them before I realized, I always did that before - why would this be different?

This is different because this wasn't the same old thing. This was a serious step, which I do not regret. I am only 5 weeks out, but I am finding that I don't get hungry, and I eat such small portions, that even if I did cheat, I am not sure how much damage I could do, calorie wise.

My tastes have changed and I now crave meat, and do NOT want sweets.

But the best part is I realize I WILL get thing and I WILL reach my weight loss goals. I never truly thought that before - I always had a little voice in my head telling me I wouldn't do it.

I don't know any Dr's in Ohio, but you should be able to find a good one through research. I know many people have gone to Mexico and been successful, but it scares me. The biggest concern to me is "after care" - many people who have had the procedure in Mexico don't get proper after care, aren't told how to eat. I have personally seen several people who have had sleeves leak because they tried to eat food right away. So make sure that your son does the research on proper eating after so that he doesnt have any complications.

Thank you so much -all input helps!

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Barbara, I can't add much more, but I will say that I would LOVE for my 21-year old, 6'4", 350 lb. son to be able to afford to have the sleeve right now. I'd be nervous about any kind of surgery, of course, but knowing how much this would change his life for the better, I'd be behind him all the way. I've brought it up to him a few times but we haven't really discussed it seriously because we just can't finance it right now anyway. But if we could swing it? Heck yeah, the sooner the better. :)

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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