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Anybody change their mind completely and NOT have the sleeve??

Hello "sleevers", and "sleevers to be". I am scheduled to have my sleeve on November 1st. Exactly 2 months away with Dr Zane at Kaiser Harbor City and I am having major anxiety over this HUGE decision. I know most people here who view the forums are those that have already had the surgery, but I'm wondering if anyone actually just simply changed their mind and just lost weight on their own. Somebody? . . . Anybody? . . . lol

One 1 hand it seems so unnatural, eating such small amounts of food for the rest of your life, not being able to drink large amounts of any liquids (Water included) at one time.

But on the other hand of course there are quite a bit of benefits.

I guess I am in the category of just simply being "morbid obese" but have no other medical issues (yet). But I'm able to go to the gym and work out so I kinda feel like if I Really put my mind to it I can do it. I have been going to the gym faithfully for the past month and have lost 23 lbs. this first month. IT's like as soon as I got my surgery date I got this high surge of motivation/energy out of nowhere to "prepare" for my surgery . . . that I don't know if I still want.

Anybody else in the same boat?

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Hi Sweetie! I TOTALLY hear you. My (abreviated) story is that I've been overweight all my life, with it steadily getting worse. I did Atkins diet several time, Optifast (before Oprah!), Carbohydrate Addicts Diet, etc... The most success I ever had was with Overeaters Anonymous. I went to OA faithully for about 3 years and lost 85lbs. I worked out at the gym heavily during this time and had a strong support system through OA. They truly loved me until I could love myself and helped me work through the emotional issues I had around eating that traditional therapy just couldn't touch.

I can't say enough good things about OA. However, once I got within 15lbs of my goal weight (I was then in my early 30's), I blossomed so much, dating, flying airplanes, diving with sharks, dating, sailing, dating- having a LIFE in other words, that I stopped going to meetings and thought I was 'cured.' I told myself that I'd never regain the weight. That lack of humility (or understanding of the massive complexity of the disease of obesity and compulsive eating) was the first step in my relapse. I subsequently regained all of the 85lbs, plus another 9 over the course of 5 years. I didn't lose the progress I made in OA- I never went back to binging on remotely the same level as before, and my head remained screwed on straight enough to meet and marry an extremely healthy wonderful man. The weight issue has just NEVER gone away.

I felt very conflicted about getting this VSG. I also buckled down and got a trainer and started getting into much better shape before the surgery. I asked my husband if I really needed to get the VSG after all. His response was that, after seeing me attempt 10's of well-meaning false starts to go back to OA and the gym, it just wasn't happening. Also, at age 40, my cholesterol had finally come back high, and my A1C was also elevated for the first time (predictor of diabetes). My joints are always sore, and we want to have children. He refuses to let me get pregnant while overweight for health reasons, and frankly, I agree. I asked my husband if he thought I had failed by needing the VSG. He said that all evidence shows that while some can lose significant amounts of weight and keep it off through diet and exercise, most can't. I did what I needed to do (he's built like an underwear model by the way, eats well, goes to the gym almost everyday, so even having HIM as a support system wasn't enough!)

So hence my decision. We felt like the VSG was our last chance. I felt that I had tried everything else and was worn out from the fruitless exhausting effort. I liken it to an insulin pump or a liver transplant. I have a serious disease. There is help. I took it.

Having said all of that, I still mean to go back to OA for support do deal with all of the myriad issues that are related to this disease. That is where I know I can find a fellowship of people who understand me, accept me, and are making a concerted effort to lead emotionally spiritually and physically self-accountable lives. I don't know how old you are, or what your life situation is, but I'd recommend going to OA for 3 meetings. Then, whatever you choose to do, you'll have a group of people to support you.

That's my two cents. Take care!

Edited by pcindy

From your picture you look young, and believe me, now's the time to do it! I'm 60, started gaining weight at about age 8, and yo-yo'd all my life. Like everyone else I was able to take the weight off, but never able to keep it off for any length of time. I would lose a good 90-100 lbs. about every decade, then gain it all back after a couple years, so I've spent the majority of my life fat. And in the past 15 years, I haven't even been able to do that. If this option had been available 30 years ago, I would have done it then!

At three weeks I did have a moment of WTF have I done, while out to a family restaurant with friends. Me with my cup of soup, and they with their lovely full dinners. But eventually I will be able to eat a wide range of foods, just not very much, and that's what I signed up for, after all.

I wouldn't change a thing.

It's absolutely normal and healthy to be worried and scared. This is a life changing decision - once it is done, you can't reverse it. I remember having a last minute panic attack about 30 minutes before my surgery. I went through with it and have never looked back. I have lost almost 50 pounds all together, 33 of those since surgery. I too lost and gained wt a million times over the years, but I was tired of always losing the battle. I can't believe how much better I feel! The only regrets I have are that I didn't do it sooner.

Don't get in a hurry. Take your time, read everything you can find, ask questions, ask more questions. When you are ready you will feel confident that THIS is what you want for yourself. That might be now or a year from now. It's your body and your life, you need to do what is right for you!

Kathy

misspatrice,

if you really feel you can do it I applaud you. I hold up in such high esteem people who were able to lose weight on their own. I am 32 , 346lbs in pre op. I've lost 27 pounds(started at 373) since really starting to lose weight for the surgery.

I often think to myself.. now if I just kept this going... and I know that I can look back at the last 8 years or so and see how I failed to really lose weight, and even though there were times I was a workout-a-holic and lost 20-30 pounds.. I could never change my life forever on my own... I tried myself and I was of the mindset that I would continue to try myself even if it killed me.. but my therapist helped me realize that it is ok for me to accept help.. and this is when I looked into WLS.

In all honesty I don't even think just the WLS would really help me change forever.. I'm counting on my own determination, plus therapy, plus the sleeve as a multi-faceted approach to fully and completely changing my life and my life-long habits forever.

I realize now that I don't have the discipline to do it on my own.. and statistics seem to prove that the far majority of us don't.. apparently only 5% of people lose weight and keep it off on their own.. I'm sad to say that I'm not in that 5%, but i've come to terms with that and come to terms with the fact that the surgery will save my life, and my body from further destruction.

P.S - I'm like you, just morbidly obese.. bloodwork shows otherwise i'm basically perfectly healthy other then sleep apnea and low HDL... but I'm afraid that I'm just biding my time before diabetes and who knows what else.

so anyways.. if you have never really REALLY tried to do it yourself before... or you know deep down you can.. then I say why the hell not try it yourself.. but if not..then you decide what you want to do.

Edited by JoeyDNJ

This is the first post I have made here, I have been looking for someone who seems to be in the same boat as me. I could not have explained my own feelings better than your post. My surgery date is Dec 16 and I too am just barely morbidly obese and I am young (24). The surgeon actually called me "small" lol. So I am feeling rather hesitant. So I will have to keep in touch to hear how your journey through the process is, as your date is closer.

Best of luck to you!

Bee

  • Author

Just read all of the "new" replies to this thread. Thanks everyone for the encouraging words. I am young (27) and I have been told by so many of my family members you aren't even that "big" (take into account most of my family is overweight lol). So funny because I AM "morbidly obese". I know what they mean. I guess I don't look my weight. I carry it as "well" as I can, but the fact of the matter is that like so many of you have said I have tried to lose weight many times and have been successful at losing as much as 50 lbs. but then that's where it stops and then the lbs slowly but surely "reunite" where they came from. lol

My mind is made up. One of my favorite quotes is "when in doubt, do without" but I think for something like this for anyone to just be 100% doubt LESS is virtually impossible. IT's a big step and I'm ready to take it. I have 52 more days to go and I remember when it was over 80 days. It's going by so fast. I'm looking forward to it and look forward to sharing my experiences, highs, lows and everything else in-between here on this forum. Thanks everyone :-)

Good grief Good grief...can't lose a pound and keep it off on my own. Damn shame though! If you can do it that way, heh, all the power to you!!! I used to say I would NEVER get weight loss surgery, NEVER NEVER EVER.

Then......

One Day....

I realized, "Self, you've been damnfat/

blubberyobese/

swollenlikeatick/

morbidlyembarrassed/

terriblyuncomfortable/

notasattractiveasIdreamedIwas/

for...

TWENTY YEARS NOW!!!

So I thought, "Self, Lets try a new train of thought"

Next thing I know I'm tubing on the lake in a size 12 bathing suit.

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