Okay, so I actually had the surgery a week ago, July 14, and I've been hanging out, bored silly the last couple of days, in a hotel room, recuperating. Couldn't find my password for the forum here, or I'd have posted before.

It went VERY well, though I checked into the hospital at 5:30am on the 14th, and didn't actually get prepped for surgery until 7:30pm that evening. After that, I don't have any clear memories. That's when they gave me the sedative. I think they only did it then to make me shut up, because I remember that I had been making comments to the surgery prep team that they were giving me rat poison derivative (blood thinners--and I was trying rather lamely to tease them), to cover up the fact that I was scared out of my gourd.

Apparently I didn't want to wake up from the general anesthesia, either, because I don't actually remember anything until 7:30ish the next morning, and I could hear a nurse squawking out in the hall, "You gave her IV WHAT?!?" Then The Bitch From Hell marched into the room and announced, "You're taking a walk. Right now." So I replied very suavely by leaning over the bed rail and throwing up on the floor.

I couldn't walk straight. I was only dizzy if I let my autonomic nervous system function, so I tried to figure out some ways to A) not breathe, not blink, and C) lose the whole heartbeat thing. I mean, a pulse is seriously overrated anyhow, right?

Anyway, so this nurse attaches herself to me, and informs me that I never should've gotten any IV pain medication post-op, that I only got to take it orally, and that the reason behind this was because they had a hard time getting me to come around in recovery, and that thereafter, I was going to Start Walking, No More Lying Down, I had to Start Drinking, and Start Peeing Without A Catheter. And that I had to drink 50 ounces of fluids and KEEP THEM DOWN before I could get discharged.

It actually wasn't bad, once she pissed me off enough to make me focus... Took me awhile to get started on what TBFH-nurse counted as my 50 ounces, because I did end up having to get some more pain medication and some serious anti-nausea medication via IV.

And, I should say out of fairness that I really did end up liking her. She was actually pretty funny. I eavesdrop shamelessly all the time, no matter where I am, and I'd hear her out in the hospital corridor griping to the nurses about how I wouldn't cooperate, and I was hopeless, and the surgeon had already yelled at her twice, and then she'd come back in the room and drag me out for a walk.

She was nice enough on several of these perambulations to steer me the other direction when somebody had come in with a perforated bowel and the smell was making me turn right past green into gray...but she made a little dark aside comment about how "THAT'S what it smells like if you don't get walking..."

I'm probably not doing a very good job of relating all this, but she was really very funny, though I don't think she entirely meant to be. I thoroughly approved of her, actually. Absolutely competent, bossy, manipulative in a good way...

She became steadily more approving of me as the day wore on, and I pushed myself to finish my 50 ounces so I could get discharged when she came off her shift at 6pm. I gauged her increasing approval by the fact that I overheard her out in the hall briefing someone coming on-shift telling them that I was really a sweetheart and very polite. It was pretty funny juxtaposed with her bustling into the room a moment later and informing me that I needed to get a move on and drink some more fluids because I was falling down on the job!

She gave me a hug when I left. I grinned really big at her and told her, "That last time I puked on the floor, and it got all over your shoes, I was aiming for 'em." I waited for her to react, then I said, "I'm kidding!" I'm pretty sure I was actually kidding, too. :thumbup1:

All-in-all, not the best day of my life, but not the worst, either. It did have its funny moments. And it's all downhill from here, so to speak...

What an experience. Congrats on having it behind you!

Glad you made it through with your sense of humor! Humor helps everything. Thanks for sharing.

Renee

lol I can see you leaning over and then letting it all out. That was great. I wish I could of done that with a few of the nurses I had when I gave birth to my daughter. I'm glad you are okay.