Reflections from a Fat Chick

[roseyandmusic 5]

I think I've finally worked up enough courage to share my story. I have not been sleeved yet, but am looking forward to my new beginning soon. I don't think my story is special. We've all been there, done that. I was a chubby kid in an obese family. Growing up in "the fat family" is never easy. In high school, I became anorexic. Even as a skeleton, I still saw myself as a fatty. My period stopped, my hair fell out, and I fainted on several occassions. I eventually turned to Bulimia, but once my teeth started rotting and my voice was getting froggy, I stopped that real quick. I eventually settled into the over-eating thing I had done since childhood, and from then on it's been yo-yo heaven (no, I mean yo-yo hell). Fat to trim to chubby to skinny to really fat to chubby to trim, and now at super-oooober fat.To this day, I still struggle with chronic depression and am on medication for bipolar disorder.

When I met my husband, I was in a good place. I lost a lot of weight on Jenny Craig and Weight Watchers. At 5'9" and very broad statured, I was 175. I felt really good and that's when I met the love of my life. Two years later, we married. But something unexpected happened. I got depressed and I guess went through the newly-wed syndrome and let myself go. Now, two years later and 24 years old, I am at my heviest weight ever, 275. Stress played a big part too. I was paying myself through college (and commuted an hour away from my home for college) and working (I'm a music teacher); I was a newlywed and just bought my first house, so I added wife and homemaker to the mix. Personal tragedy, money problems, you know, those things that grown-ups have to deal with. Well, being the emotional eater I am, it didn't take long for me to get to where I am.

I am a very blessed person. There are so many things in my life to give thanks for. My husband loves ME the WAY I am, and the more I hate myself, the more he loves me! (How I snagged him I'll never know). I just graduated from college and am blessed with a job I LOVE (teaching K-8 music education), I recently bought my first house, and I am the mother of four goofy dogs. Things are going so great for me, yet, there has always been that one thing that has been like a dark cloud over my head- and that is my weight problem. Sometimes I feel so guilty for allowing myself to be sad over my self-image when I have so many good things in my life.

Well, it wasn't until recently that my family's obese ways have finally caught up to them. My mom is now diabetic, my grandpa died of a heart attack, and my aunt (who is in the 400lbs range) has such a long list of health problems I cannot count. I am still young, but I see myself headed to where they are now. Yes things are great in my life, but how can I enjoy it if my health is bad? Right now I'm okay, but it won't stay okay for long being obese. That's when I decided it's time to conquer my life-long battle once and for all. That's why I decided to take this drastic action. I want to go hiking with my husband or travel places and not feel ashamed in my own skin. I want to break the obese curse of my family and not be "the fatty" anymore. I want to be in my 60's and still be active with the "granny power-walkers". I want to have kids one day, and be able to run and play and be healthy. I want to look in the mirror and finally see someone I like. May God be with me in my journey and may God be with all of you during your journey.

Thanks for listening.

Rose

[TennJenn 9]

Welcome, Rose! Thanks for sharing your story. Do you have a surgery date yet? I'm still pre-op...awaiting July 7 for my VSG. I call it "my Independence day"! I'll Celebrate my independence from obesity.

[WASaBubbleButt 41]

I think I've finally worked up enough courage to share my story. I have not been sleeved yet, but am looking forward to my new beginning soon. I don't think my story is special. We've all been there, done that. I was a chubby kid in an obese family. Growing up in "the fat family" is never easy. In high school, I became anorexic. Even as a skeleton, I still saw myself as a fatty. My period stopped, my hair fell out, and I fainted on several occassions. I eventually turned to Bulimia, but once my teeth started rotting and my voice was getting froggy, I stopped that real quick. I eventually settled into the over-eating thing I had done since childhood, and from then on it's been yo-yo heaven (no, I mean yo-yo hell). Fat to trim to chubby to skinny to really fat to chubby to trim, and now at super-oooober fat.To this day, I still struggle with chronic depression and am on medication for bipolar disorder.

When I met my husband, I was in a good place. I lost a lot of weight on Jenny Craig and Weight Watchers. At 5'9" and very broad statured, I was 175. I felt really good and that's when I met the love of my life. Two years later, we married. But something unexpected happened. I got depressed and I guess went through the newly-wed syndrome and let myself go. Now, two years later and 24 years old, I am at my heviest weight ever, 275. Stress played a big part too. I was paying myself through college (and commuted an hour away from my home for college) and working (I'm a music teacher); I was a newlywed and just bought my first house, so I added wife and homemaker to the mix. Personal tragedy, money problems, you know, those things that grown-ups have to deal with. Well, being the emotional eater I am, it didn't take long for me to get to where I am.

I am a very blessed person. There are so many things in my life to give thanks for. My husband loves ME the WAY I am, and the more I hate myself, the more he loves me! (How I snagged him I'll never know). I just graduated from college and am blessed with a job I LOVE (teaching K-8 music education), I recently bought my first house, and I am the mother of four goofy dogs. Things are going so great for me, yet, there has always been that one thing that has been like a dark cloud over my head- and that is my weight problem. Sometimes I feel so guilty for allowing myself to be sad over my self-image when I have so many good things in my life.

Well, it wasn't until recently that my family's obese ways have finally caught up to them. My mom is now diabetic, my grandpa died of a heart attack, and my aunt (who is in the 400lbs range) has such a long list of health problems I cannot count. I am still young, but I see myself headed to where they are now. Yes things are great in my life, but how can I enjoy it if my health is bad? Right now I'm okay, but it won't stay okay for long being obese. That's when I decided it's time to conquer my life-long battle once and for all. That's why I decided to take this drastic action. I want to go hiking with my husband or travel places and not feel ashamed in my own skin. I want to break the obese curse of my family and not be "the fatty" anymore. I want to be in my 60's and still be active with the "granny power-walkers". I want to have kids one day, and be able to run and play and be healthy. I want to look in the mirror and finally see someone I like. May God be with me in my journey and may God be with all of you during your journey.

Thanks for listening.

Rose

I think it is great that you are getting this done at such a young age. There is no need to waste your younger years as a heavy person. So many in your shoes do not do anything until their 40s, 50s, or 60s. You are taking control today, you deserve a pat on the back for that!

Thanks for sharing your story!

[Oregondaisy 2,019]

I wish I had done this years ago. You're going to love having the sleeve and soon you will be buying new clothes!

[Elisabethsew 50]

Welcome and thank you for sharing your story. You'll find a lot of good advice here so read and post!

[tamathav 0]

Good for you for making the decision to change your life NOW and not later! I feel for you struggling so much with your self image and I can very much relate. May I suggest if you're not already seeing a therapist that it may really help to do that along with your WLS journey?

Good luck to you!

Tam

[roseyandmusic 5]

Hi Tam. I think you are right. A therapist would help me. I used to see a therapist for my eating disorder in high school, but let go of it once I reached college. I feel like this is a new beginning for me, but for really reals this time:-). Not like the "new beginnings" I tried for with all my diets that all turned into failures. I'm seeing my meds doctor this thursday at the Kaiser Mental Health office. I will inquire about it. Thank you all for your warm and loving support.

[MacMadame 81]

So many in your shoes do not do anything until their 40s, 50s, or 60s.

Like me! I could kick myself for taking so long to get to this point. I wasted all those years.

But... nothing I can do about it now, right?

[Malaika 50]

Like me! I could kick myself for taking so long to get to this point. I wasted all those years.

But... nothing I can do about it now, right?

As they say Mac, hindsight is 20/20. I'm right there with you. Well, not right there, but you know what I mean!

[bren 1]

Wow, good for you for dealing with this now! I had the sleeve as my 50th birthday present and I wonder how different my life would have been having it at 24. But of course, they didn't have it back then, so it is what it is.

You are going to love this journey!

Bren

[Rosebud2 26]

I wish this were available to me forty years ago. You are lucky for this opportunity. It would have saved me forty years of yo-yo dieting.

[shanda7182 5]

I think I've finally worked up enough courage to share my story. I have not been sleeved yet, but am looking forward to my new beginning soon. I don't think my story is special. We've all been there, done that. I was a chubby kid in an obese family. Growing up in "the fat family" is never easy. In high school, I became anorexic. Even as a skeleton, I still saw myself as a fatty. My period stopped, my hair fell out, and I fainted on several occassions. I eventually turned to Bulimia, but once my teeth started rotting and my voice was getting froggy, I stopped that real quick. I eventually settled into the over-eating thing I had done since childhood, and from then on it's been yo-yo heaven (no, I mean yo-yo hell). Fat to trim to chubby to skinny to really fat to chubby to trim, and now at super-oooober fat.To this day, I still struggle with chronic depression and am on medication for bipolar disorder.

When I met my husband, I was in a good place. I lost a lot of weight on Jenny Craig and Weight Watchers. At 5'9" and very broad statured, I was 175. I felt really good and that's when I met the love of my life. Two years later, we married. But something unexpected happened. I got depressed and I guess went through the newly-wed syndrome and let myself go. Now, two years later and 24 years old, I am at my heviest weight ever, 275. Stress played a big part too. I was paying myself through college (and commuted an hour away from my home for college) and working (I'm a music teacher); I was a newlywed and just bought my first house, so I added wife and homemaker to the mix. Personal tragedy, money problems, you know, those things that grown-ups have to deal with. Well, being the emotional eater I am, it didn't take long for me to get to where I am.

I am a very blessed person. There are so many things in my life to give thanks for. My husband loves ME the WAY I am, and the more I hate myself, the more he loves me! (How I snagged him I'll never know). I just graduated from college and am blessed with a job I LOVE (teaching K-8 music education), I recently bought my first house, and I am the mother of four goofy dogs. Things are going so great for me, yet, there has always been that one thing that has been like a dark cloud over my head- and that is my weight problem. Sometimes I feel so guilty for allowing myself to be sad over my self-image when I have so many good things in my life.

Well, it wasn't until recently that my family's obese ways have finally caught up to them. My mom is now diabetic, my grandpa died of a heart attack, and my aunt (who is in the 400lbs range) has such a long list of health problems I cannot count. I am still young, but I see myself headed to where they are now. Yes things are great in my life, but how can I enjoy it if my health is bad? Right now I'm okay, but it won't stay okay for long being obese. That's when I decided it's time to conquer my life-long battle once and for all. That's why I decided to take this drastic action. I want to go hiking with my husband or travel places and not feel ashamed in my own skin. I want to break the obese curse of my family and not be "the fatty" anymore. I want to be in my 60's and still be active with the "granny power-walkers". I want to have kids one day, and be able to run and play and be healthy. I want to look in the mirror and finally see someone I like. May God be with me in my journey and may God be with all of you during your journey.

Thanks for listening.

Rose

Wow Rose, you have had a very difficult road but FREEDOM is coming for all of us pre-opers. I am 26 and I feel the same way, I cannot imagine getting older and getting larger and larger. GOD forbid, I have not had any children yet, they say it just gets harder and harder (weight wise) after children.

Well congrats on making your decision. Keep us posted.

[Malaika 50]

Wow Rose, you have had a very difficult road but FREEDOM is coming for all of us pre-opers. I am 26 and I feel the same way, I cannot imagine getting older and getting larger and larger. GOD forbid, I have not had any children yet, they say it just gets harder and harder (weight wise) after children.

Well congrats on making your decision. Keep us posted.

It also gets harder and harder the older you get ... I know when I was in my 20s it came off alot easier and quicker than it does not that I'm in my 50s (OMG!)

[roseyandmusic 5]

My surgery is coming up! July 10! I am excited and scared. I know all the emotions I'm going through are normal. Thank you all for your support.

I started my pre-op diet Wednesday. I hate to whine, but its been soooo hard for me. Maybe for others, this diet would be okay because its a high protein/ and only 30 grams of carbs a day. But for me, its hard!! I'm a carb addict, I don't like meat or fish, I gag on eggs. So I've literally been forcing myself to eat, and I havnt eaten much at all these past four days. (I better have lost some weight).

Let me tell you, I've been grumpy (poor hubby) and ready to tackle someone for a burrito or bread. Listen to me! Isn't it something how food affects me. Its like a drug and I'm going through withrawal symtoms.

But I am very proud of myself. I've been loyal and determined and have stayed on program. I think the 30 days of liquid will be hard too, but at least I can have milk after the first week or so. I love milk.

Anyhow, I'm getting all the last minute things in order before I take another step to the new me on Thursday!

[Malaika 50]

My surgery is coming up! July 10! I am excited and scared. I know all the emotions I'm going through are normal. Thank you all for your support.

I started my pre-op diet Wednesday. I hate to whine, but its been soooo hard for me. Maybe for others, this diet would be okay because its a high protein/ and only 30 grams of carbs a day. But for me, its hard!! I'm a carb addict, I don't like meat or fish, I gag on eggs. So I've literally been forcing myself to eat, and I havnt eaten much at all these past four days. (I better have lost some weight).

Let me tell you, I've been grumpy (poor hubby) and ready to tackle someone for a burrito or bread. Listen to me! Isn't it something how food affects me. Its like a drug and I'm going through withrawal symtoms.

But I am very proud of myself. I've been loyal and determined and have stayed on program. I think the 30 days of liquid will be hard too, but at least I can have milk after the first week or so. I love milk.

Anyhow, I'm getting all the last minute things in order before I take another step to the new me on Thursday!

You should be proud you haven't given in to your cravings for carbs and tackled anyone for a burrito ... I know it's hard as I like carbs, too, especially hot sourdough with real butter ... so the fact you haven't given in is GREAT. By the time you get through the pre-op and the liquids, your craving for carbs should be gone and if you don't start back on them you should be okay.

Good luck with your surgery. I will be there on the 10th for my fiance's pre-tests and a GI for me so I am going to look for you ...is your name really Rosey? If not I'll just stand on that wing and holer for Roseyandmusic and wait for you to come to me ... or your dad ... I'll be interested to see how he feels about things ... :thumbup1: