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weight loss is showing, but I'm not sure how I feel...



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Yet another post that may show how crazy I am. Hope you're not getting sick of me.

So, last time I weighed I was down 84lbs—about 25 of that in the last 3 months. I found out my pouch was slightly dilated, so I've been on liquids for almost two weeks. I must have lost a lot more in that time because I'm getting CONSTANT comments and compliments about how I look. Everyone I know is saying something, everyone's asking me about it, everyone tells me I look 10 years younger and amazing...

That should make me feel good, right?

So why is it freaking me out?

I don't want to talk about it. I don't want anyone to look at me. I feel great, I feel like I look great. I love wearing new clothes (Like my new size 14 petite pants from the gap!! Wow!!!) But really, I don't feel so happy. I'm just really mourning food right now. Maybe it's because I'm on liquids, so that might pass when I start eating again, but I look at things I used to love and feel like I'm going to cry. I was at a big party last night and they had big vats of baked ziti. I had a few bites, but I wanted that heaping plate. I had a bite of cake, but I wanted my big honking piece with all that icing. I think it's finally sinking in that I will never, ever be able to eat like that again. And whoa, here come the tears. I'm crying as I write this.

What's wrong with me?? I'm thrilled with my weight loss. I want this. I want to not be able to eat. And yet I feel like someone ran over my puppy.

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Take a deep breath! You are emotional now because all your hormones are being release from those fat cells! If you feel like crying do so, but also rejoice.

Take the time now to look at how far you've come, you've made a huge accomplishment, be proud, own it!

Go and get yourself a manicure, pedicure, love you and your new body, your self esteem is now exploding and you have fear, everyone is noticing you, but sometimes we still want to hide in the fat girls body, we fear the attention, but learn to embrace it.

Love yourself you are worth it!.

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You are having a completely understandable response to a conditioned memory. food was our constant friend Being emotional comes with the package. Some of us hate food. Some of us miss it like a long lost friend. It's time to create some new memories. Take back the power- realize its just food-a substance. You have taken steps to change your future because you matter and are worth it! Take one step at a time. I know when I fixate on a problem, it is hard to see what else this beautiful life has to offer. Be brave- you can do this!

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We have similar stats I started 275 and now I am 186.....it's weird isn't it??? Some days I am sooooo happy and am happy with my band life salads fish etc and 6 days a week at the gym.....but sometimes it all feels like a lot of work like Groundhog Day over and over! This wont be forever - I am 25 pounds from goal and wearing size 10/12 already so I am hoping not too far to go. I keep my short term goals in mind and keep moving forward. I think once your back on normal food you will feel better....it's hard to live on liquids. I bet once you go onto normal you will feel better. I try and eat low cab but have what I want just a smaller serve than normal. Maybe you need some foodspiration cook something yummy and healthy? I have stuffed peppers and baked eggplant cooking right now I will not eat tons but its yummy food that is healthy too. .....

Good luck :)

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Hugs to you first of all. I totally understand how you feel. I think at some point in time we have all felt that way. I still do from time to time, but when I think of all the health issues in my family that I'm at risk for and even at my highest weight (242) I never got them i.e. hbp, high cholesterol, diabetes, etc. I guess I was lucky but the point is, I still miss eating many of my favorite foods. CARBS!!!!!!!! I was a carbaholic LOL Now, does that mean I don't still eat them? Heck no because there are days that I really crave them like for instance, pizza is my absolute most favorite food in the whole wide world. I could eat it for Breakfast, lunch, and dinner and do it all over again the next day. For a while, I did back in the day. I would have a pizza breakfast mini you know the ones Red Barron makes. Pizza buffet for lunch and by a supreme pizza for dinner. Yep I did that many days. And lets not talk about rice and potatoes. Last week I was craving pizza because well I haven't had it in quite a while now. So thankfully my youngest daughter wanted some as well so we went to a buffet, I had a small salad and ate two small slices and then got like four more slices but only at the cheese and toppings. Yeah, I know I wasted bread but for me that's all I wanted was the sauce, cheese, and veggies and beef. That's it. I'm good now and probably want eat it again for another few months. Same with rice and baked potatoes. When I crave them, I eat them just not in large portions like I did before I was banded. This is a lifestyle change and you will feel better in time. Stay focused on being healthy. Good luck.

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    • LeighaTR

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    • Doughgurl

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      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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