Yet another post that may show how crazy I am. Hope you're not getting sick of me.

So, last time I weighed I was down 84lbs—about 25 of that in the last 3 months. I found out my pouch was slightly dilated, so I've been on liquids for almost two weeks. I must have lost a lot more in that time because I'm getting CONSTANT comments and compliments about how I look. Everyone I know is saying something, everyone's asking me about it, everyone tells me I look 10 years younger and amazing...

That should make me feel good, right?

So why is it freaking me out?

I don't want to talk about it. I don't want anyone to look at me. I feel great, I feel like I look great. I love wearing new clothes (Like my new size 14 petite pants from the gap!! Wow!!!) But really, I don't feel so happy. I'm just really mourning food right now. Maybe it's because I'm on liquids, so that might pass when I start eating again, but I look at things I used to love and feel like I'm going to cry. I was at a big party last night and they had big vats of baked ziti. I had a few bites, but I wanted that heaping plate. I had a bite of cake, but I wanted my big honking piece with all that icing. I think it's finally sinking in that I will never, ever be able to eat like that again. And whoa, here come the tears. I'm crying as I write this.

What's wrong with me?? I'm thrilled with my weight loss. I want this. I want to not be able to eat. And yet I feel like someone ran over my puppy.

Take a deep breath! You are emotional now because all your hormones are being release from those fat cells! If you feel like crying do so, but also rejoice.

Take the time now to look at how far you've come, you've made a huge accomplishment, be proud, own it!

Go and get yourself a manicure, pedicure, love you and your new body, your self esteem is now exploding and you have fear, everyone is noticing you, but sometimes we still want to hide in the fat girls body, we fear the attention, but learn to embrace it.

Love yourself you are worth it!.

You are having a completely understandable response to a conditioned memory. Food was our constant friend Being emotional comes with the package. Some of us hate food. Some of us miss it like a long lost friend. It's time to create some new memories. Take back the power- realize its just food-a substance. You have taken steps to change your future because you matter and are worth it! Take one step at a time. I know when I fixate on a problem, it is hard to see what else this beautiful life has to offer. Be brave- you can do this!

We have similar stats I started 275 and now I am 186.....it's weird isn't it??? Some days I am sooooo happy and am happy with my band life salads fish etc and 6 days a week at the gym.....but sometimes it all feels like a lot of work like Groundhog Day over and over! This wont be forever - I am 25 pounds from goal and wearing size 10/12 already so I am hoping not too far to go. I keep my short term goals in mind and keep moving forward. I think once your back on normal food you will feel better....it's hard to live on liquids. I bet once you go onto normal you will feel better. I try and eat low cab but have what I want just a smaller serve than normal. Maybe you need some foodspiration cook something yummy and healthy? I have stuffed peppers and baked eggplant cooking right now I will not eat tons but its yummy food that is healthy too. .....

Good luck

Hugs to you first of all. I totally understand how you feel. I think at some point in time we have all felt that way. I still do from time to time, but when I think of all the health issues in my family that I'm at risk for and even at my highest weight (242) I never got them i.e. hbp, high cholesterol, diabetes, etc. I guess I was lucky but the point is, I still miss eating many of my favorite foods. CARBS!!!!!!!! I was a carbaholic LOL Now, does that mean I don't still eat them? Heck no because there are days that I really crave them like for instance, pizza is my absolute most favorite food in the whole wide world. I could eat it for breakfast, lunch, and dinner and do it all over again the next day. For a while, I did back in the day. I would have a pizza breakfast mini you know the ones Red Barron makes. Pizza buffet for lunch and by a supreme pizza for dinner. Yep I did that many days. And lets not talk about rice and potatoes. Last week I was craving pizza because well I haven't had it in quite a while now. So thankfully my youngest daughter wanted some as well so we went to a buffet, I had a small salad and ate two small slices and then got like four more slices but only at the cheese and toppings. Yeah, I know I wasted bread but for me that's all I wanted was the sauce, cheese, and veggies and beef. That's it. I'm good now and probably want eat it again for another few months. Same with rice and baked potatoes. When I crave them, I eat them just not in large portions like I did before I was banded. This is a lifestyle change and you will feel better in time. Stay focused on being healthy. Good luck.