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Some people like to poke the wound :(



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I have been overweight all my life it took a lot of me to get up and do this. I just turned 26. I don't feel all that restricted now. I can eat but I do get full easily. I wish I didn't tell anyone I was doing this. No one really understand the process of this except for you guys who have undergone this surgery. I live in 2 family house at my fathers, I rent out the bottom half of his house to help him out with bills with my boyfriend. Well I went upstairs my dad and brothers have noticed a difference but today idk what got into my dad- but my middle brother since kids has always called me tubby- he mentions to my dad- that he will no longer be able to call me that bc I'm losing weight- my dad who has mentioned before to me that he sees me losing the weight states "I don't see it she isn't losing anything" finds it necessary to take out the scale for me to weight myself. I got so upset and ran to my room- I told him to get out of my face and I been crying ever since. I don't want to fail at this. Im petrify that I did all of this for nothing. I barely eat. I've gone to restaurants just to pack my food to go so my bf can eat it when I get home. He then came downstairs to apologize just to tell me that he sees it but its not going fast enough. Just bc someone who did gastric lost it within months. Maybe I should have had my stomach ripped off- I would have been able to see a difference by now. I'm sorry all- I needed to vent :/

This is me now;

Then- sucking in my stomach too lol

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Peace.... time will make you successful!

Thank you chez :) encouraging words are always something can make anyone think more positive :)

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Please, please don't take this wrong- but your father sounds like a complete @sshole!! I can't believe a father could be so cruel and heartless!!

I know it's hard but don't let his ignorance get you down or discourage you. You're doing this for you not him. Let him wallow in his own stupidity. You're losing, how fast or slow is irrelevant. All that matters is that you ARE losing and you will be healthier for it.

Don't be afraid to stand up for yourself, either. Tell him what an @ss he's being and that you're not going to tolerate it!

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Keep your head up! There are always going to be negative people in this world. Do your best to just keep your distance from them. You're losing the weight for YOURSELF not for anyone else. Put yourself first and remember that the Lapband is a tool and it takes time for this tool to work. :)

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Please' date=' please don't take this wrong- but your father sounds like a complete @sshole!! I can't believe a father could be so cruel and heartless!!

I know it's hard but don't let his ignorance get you down or discourage you. You're doing this for you not him. Let him wallow in his own stupidity. You're losing, how fast or slow is irrelevant. All that matters is that you ARE losing and you will be healthier for it.

Don't be afraid to stand up for yourself, either. Tell him what an @ss he's being and that you're not going to tolerate it![/quote']

Thanks missy. It just hurts. Even if he did apologized it wasn't necessary. His heavyset himself. Diabetic As well mind me- I've manage to keep my levels @130-140 on a daily basis- that's an accomplishment for me u have no idea- having my sugars be at 200-290 before to having it like how I hAve it now- I'm so happy- doctor mention to me not to take the pills if its under 200 but I take 1 or 2 bc I'm so scared of going back to that dark place. He just made me realize that not everyone who is close to u will ever be happy for u :(

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Yes, your dad is a compete ass. He is probably the reason for you turning to food in the first place. Don't give him the satisfaction of staying fat. That makes him feel better that you are overweight, if you change and become independent that will mean he is alone. But this your life, change for you. You are doing great.

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Keep your head up! There are always going to be negative people in this world. Do your best to just keep your distance from them. You're losing the weight for YOURSELF not for anyone else. Put yourself first and remember that the Lapband is a tool and it takes time for this tool to work. :)

Thanks Jennifer for the encouragement as well :)

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Im sorry you had to experience that by someone who means so much to you... just remember you are doing this for you and nobody else... as long as you see the change and you feel good about yourself that's all that matters... I would take those emotions that you are feeling as a tool to proove to them the great choice you made and the awesome results you are having and are going to continue to have... keep your head up and I am here if you need anything... :-)

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Yes' date=' your dad is a compete ass. He is probably the reason for you turning to food in the first place. Don't give him the satisfaction of staying fat. That makes him feel better that you are overweight, if you change and become independent that will mean he is alone. But this your life, change for you. You are doing great.[/quote']

food was a big thing in my family. I don't understand why ppl do this to there kids! Rice and bread and candy is horrible! Food shouldn't be a bribery :/ unfortunately that's what I grew up learning. My kids when I do have them will never know that type of knowledge and I will never allow for others to do it to them as well

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Im sorry you had to experience that by someone who means so much to you... just remember you are doing this for you and nobody else... as long as you see the change and you feel good about yourself that's all that matters... I would take those emotions that you are feeling as a tool to proove to them the great choice you made and the awesome results you are having and are going to continue to have... keep your head up and I am here if you need anything... :-)

Thank you so much! I was ready to go to the gym but this just ruined my mood- working out at home once my nephews leave! Lol but thanks so much!

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Your dad isn't an ass, he's scared of losing the old you, his food buddy. Tell him that you are inside that obese body, unhappy with your physical self, but you'll always be his loving daughter. Forgive him for being insensitive. It takes time.

George Takei posted this on Facebook recently: You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body.

Your soul loves your father, that's not changing.

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Your dad isn't an ass' date=' he's scared of losing the old you, his food buddy. Tell him that you are inside that obese body, unhappy with your physical self, but you'll always be his loving daughter. Forgive him for being insensitive. It takes time.

George Takei posted this on Facebook recently: You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body.

Your soul loves your father, that's not changing.[/quote']

That was beautiful :) I know he isn't an ass- but he was insensitive about it- and I love my old man- but knowing that this is something I'm working to better myself I expected him to help me, encourage me like a father should.

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I am very sorry you are going through this. I have had issues with my dad and weight for a very long time - I grew up hearing about "fat" people being gross etc. - I was very thin all through my teens, and I remember hearing "don't get FAT!!" If I gained a couple of pounds, I was immediately guilty and felt horrible. Imagine how it was when I moved out, and within a year I gained about 80lbs - I had become the dreaded "FAT" person. Twenty years later my dad has changed significantly and is softer, but every so often he will say things like... " I was talking to this huge woman today - she was probably about your size". And yet, he is the one that helped me pay for my surgery. I think that they really want us to be thinner and healthier, but something about either them being men, or their generation... who knows, it comes out sounding very harsh. I believe that inside your dad really does care about you and wants you to be healthier - but somehow the message doesn't come out clearly and he sounds like an ass, just like my dad does at times.

Have you expressed to him how much he hurts you?? I know it seems hard to believe, but maybe he truly doesn't know... sometimes you just about have to hit someone over the head with it for them to see. I have called my dad out a few times, and he does feel bad... although he has still slipped up. They won't change over night, that's for sure ;)

In any case, please look after yourself and treat yourself well - you are doing the best you can for YOU and you deserve support. Love yourself - from your pic, you are a beautiful woman, very striking - and try not to let him get to you too much. all the very best to you.

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Do it for yourself, and no one else. Celebrate your victories. You have friends and supporters on this forum who can appreciate what you have gone through, accomplished, and the journey to get there. Don't let anyone deter you from your goal!!!!

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
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