My Dearest Band...
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What a great post!!!!!!! We were banded very close together, and I, like you, got on here and read long before I decided to start posting some. As you said, seen the folks who were successful, how h
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Girl, YOU are an inspiration. YOU are a success. You are beautiful and amazing and have the biggest heart ever. I hope people read this post as they're starting out and realise that we all started o
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I have not always needed you.... and one time in my life.. i was a "normal" person. Size 0-3... weight a whopping 100lbs. Back in my single day... then one day you meet a wonderful guy and you fall in love... ahhh things are great. You get married and have a beautiful son. and life is good.... but then you notice that your not happy as you use to be. some days are worse than others... you find the strength to get up every day and go to work and live a "normal" life. Things are good at home... but something is missing... that spark, that feeling you use to get when you and your spouse were together intimately .. and you notice that those time have gotten further and further apart. and you think, what is going on? and one day the reason is staring you right in the face... the mirror... but in that mirror is someone else... surely it's not me... I don't look like that... that's a ugly fat girl... i'm not ugly and i for damn sure am not fat. Can't be... i told my self years ago i would NEVER like myself look like... those people... but then you look closer... and closer and there.. i know those eyes.... those are my eyes... but why do they look so sad. I have happy eyes. and i see, i see the real me. the one others have been seeing for years.... how did i not see this... how did i let myself get like this ... how did i become that girl that now had to shop at the plus size store... when just yesterday i was a size 3... How did i become the girl the skinny girls are not looking at and saying... i'll never let my self look like HER... and i'm the HER. this feeling takes the very last shred of self-confidence and stomps it into the dirt and spits on it. and you think...i am ugly i am fat i am unworthy of love.... unworthy of feeling good. and you start to eat... more and more and everything keeps getting worse. you stop taking care of your self, stop dressing up stop wearing make up and fixing your hair.... stop putting forth the effort at all... You are now sitting in a deep dark care, alone and no one or nothing can show you the light....
But one day... you open your eyes expecting to see nothing... complete darkness and there it is... a speck of light.... it's tiny, but just right there in front of you. and you squint to see it.... making sur its really thee. that speck was my friend Paula... she had lb surgery and everyday we talked and everyday my light grow brighter.... I went to the doctor and did all the test... did it all and the the news that i was approved... OH ... JOy. I looked in the mirror and saw a glimmer of hope. But as the days grew closer... I started to think... WHAT IF... what if i die on the table, what if i fail at this too, what if i stayed fat forever... Then i saw this site...trolled for a long while. I didn't want to sign because, well what if someone knew me... the horror... Then i saw all the successive people... the beautiful woman and handsome men that in their before pictures looked so sad... sad like me. Then i saw the after pictures.. and all the happy smiling faces... people who were bigger than me... now wearing size 6 jeans (lellow)... and i thought.. i can do this i can get my life back.... I will be happy again. so on November 10, 2009... i awoke.. was re-born. and i did do it... i lost 80lbs... it took me longer than most, but i don't care. I have donated all the 12-14-16 & 18 and moved in to my own size 6... On Feb 15, 2012.... after a long hard fight.... i won and awarded my self a tummy tuck... i deserved it. I earned it....
so to my band... thank you... for sticking with me and always keeping me on track.
and too all you out there thinking about doing this.....search with in your self and be happy again... which ever way you choose.....
blessings.....