Hi All,

I've had an account here for a while, but haven't ever really been active. I was banded in June of '08 and had a serious rollercoaster ride with my band, almost from the start. About six months after surgery, I started having problems finding the proverbial "sweet spot." I either had too little restriction and wouldn't lose weight, or I had too much, and would start upon a horrible cycle of sliming, throwing up, and eventually being so swollen that I couldn't eat or drink. I had difficulty eating meat, and most fruits and vegetables. salad was a total no-go. This was often the case even when I didn't seem to be too tight and had no problem eating other foods. I couldn't eat carrot sticks or chicken, but had no problem scarfing down ice cream or a bag of cheetos. In fact, at one point that's *all* I could get down, and I would eat them just to get SOMETHING in my system and get my blood sugar off the floor. (Oops... yeah, I'll own that I made some bad eating choices!)

I even had trouble sleeping. After three years, I'd lost almost 50 lbs, but I was so miserable that I couldn't take it anymore. My band was too tight, I had constant heartburn, and I could barely get liquids down. I didn't want to give up (especially after financing my surgery out of pocket.) but I just couldn't do it any longer. By the time I was unfilled, I couldn't get down broth, much less any of my daily medications. (Which in my case is BAD.) I had my band completely unfilled, and haven't been back to the clinic since. Every once in a while when I eat the wrong thing or eat too fast, I'll get a stab to the chest and remember that the old girl is still in there, but otherwise it's been pre-surgery eating as usual, with both good and bad choices, and everything in between.

Now, a year and a half of yo-yo-ing later, I've regained most of the weight I'd lost, and I've decided to try it again. I'm hoping for a better result, but I'm afraid I'll end up facing the same issues. I feel like I have to completely re-acquaint myself with proper band eating, and after my history I really don't know what to expect. I'm nervous and uncertain of what's ahead.

Has anybody else been in the same boat?

I hope everyone who celebrates has a Happy Easter today, and for those who don't, I hope you enjoy a wonderful Sunday. Mine will be spent working, but since I'm waaaaaaaaay behind on my work deadline, I really only have myself to blame.

Hilary, wow! 50 miles? That's awesome! I'm so proud of you! Personally, I've been terrible at exercising at the moment. I pulled a calf muscle, which makes walking painful, and I have no in home exercise equipment, so with the weather being rainy until just the last day or two, my motivation has been lacking. Another reason why I'm being so careful with my food choices. I know my doctor would not be happy with me, but until I can flex my calf without pain, I'm just going to focus on my eating and cross my fingers that the scale keeps going down. Ponce I can walk again, the dogs are going go be thrilled to get some more walks, so there's that to look forward to.

Everyone stay strong and have a great day!

Amy, so sorry you had to work today. But maybe by doing so, it kept you away from the food and candy. I hope that day went by fast for you

I am also in awe of the fifty miles Hilary. When I first got banded, I walked all of the time. I walked every chance I could. Never really more then 1 1/2 miles at a time. My feet just wouldn't let me. I would have walk to New York and back if I had been able to. I'm hoping to get back to some of that walking as soon as the weather staightens out and my thighs get stronger. But good for you. I'm jealous.

Well, as far as me. I'm glad that I am in a room called starting over. Because that is what I will be doing tomorrow. I'm not sure how to put this so it sounds right. I ate without over eating but I did have a few things that were high in calories. So tomorrow is a new day to start over and get back on track. I don't have anything to do during the day but I have a dinner to go to in the evening. So it shouldn't be to hard to get back to doing what I'm supposed to be doing.

I over did it with doing to much today and I am paying for it. I told my hubby a little while ago that I need to take it really easy tomorrow or I am going to end back up in the walker again. He looked like he was mad. I was only joking but I really am hurting alot. Ao hopefully a good night sleep and all will be well.

Hi Amy and Suzie,

How was Easter? Did you do okay?

My Easter was fine until dinner. A friend of ours brought over funeral potatoes. They are so delicious and high calorie. But, I ate them! Then, after dinner my mom brought out a chocolate turtle pie! Ay, yay, ay! Temptation everywhere and I failed to resist.

Today, I had an appointment scheduled with my gynecologist. He has helped me lose weight in the past with phentermine, a prescription diet pill. I was expecting him to do the same thing this time. But, he reviewed my labs from last year and it turns out I have hypothyroidism and nobody ever contacted me to treat it. So, I am starting thyroid medication today. He also encouraged me to go on a very low-carb diet. He says no potatoes, Pasta, rice, bread, Cereal, or fruit, and to focus on Protein. Gee, where have I heard that before? LOL. So, I check in with him in two weeks and then we start the diet pills.

Next week I have an appointment with my band doc. I'm hoping I get to have a fill this time. I really think I need one. I'm hoping that after a few weeks of cpap + thyroid meds + fill + diet pills that it will create the "perfect storm" for weight loss.

On another note, things have not been going so great with my boyfriend. We are both starting to see other people. I was pretty upset about it last week, but am starting to feel okay about it now. We haven't exactly broken up completely, but we are putting in some distance. And, my school schedule has gotten re-arranged a bit since I took this month off. It looks like I will not be able to do an internship with the school district next year and will be spending another year substitute teaching. I actually feel kind of happy about that because it will allow me to focus more on my coursework, take more time to pass my examinations, and I get to regularly see the same kids I bonded with this year. So, all in all, this past week has been kind of important for general life stuff. I need to learn how to handle these types of things without turning to food for comfort.

That is all for now.

-Hilary

Hilary, I'm sorry to hear about your boyfriend, but you sound like your head is in a really good place, and I'm proud of you for looking toward the future with a positive attitude. I'm also glad you got to the doctor and are starting on thyroid treatment. Every doctor I've been to has tested my thyroid thinking it would be low, but I always come back normal, so no extra boost for me. I hope yours works exactly the way you're hoping.

Suzie, I hope you're feeling better today and remembering not to do to much. Recovery is a slow process, but it goes by faster when you don't push yourself too hard!

As for me, I have to make my confession. I went a little off the reservation yesterday, after making it through the Easter weekend with flying colors. Work has me really stressed out at the moment, so I slipped back into a couple of my old habits yesterday. I finally gave into the lure of those pesky pistachios, which wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't eaten 2 servings at a time. Then at dinner, I got a call from my refrigerator and the bottle of prosecco that's been chilling inside, and I had a couple of glasses of that, so I went way over my calorie plan for the day. The one thing I am proud of is that I still logged everything I ate and drank, and I was surprised that the damage wasn't actually worse. I barely skimmed by under my break even point (the number of calories I need to maintain my current weight) but I didn't go over, so I am happy about that.

Of course, the scale did go up a couple of tenths this morning, but I'm chalking that up to salt and not enough Water (plus PMS is almost upon me), so I hope it goes away soon. Today, I'm getting right back to my regularly scheduled programming!

I hope everyone's week is off to a great start. Remember, we can do this!

I here and doing great, a little tired but doing great.

I worked the election polls yesterday which meant I had to get up at 3:30am to be at the poll by 5am to get things set up. I'm an E-Poll Judge so I have to set up the computer and hook it to the one next to me so that we can check voters in electronically. I love doing this but it does make for a very long day. Luckliy everything ran smoothly and we closed at 7pm and were packed up and out the door before 8pm. The poll were I was at was at an elementary school close to my house. Sometimes I will have my husband go get my lunch or dinner for me. But I packed my food and took a cooler. The school did offer us to have what was leftover for lunches and a few took them up on it. It was chicken patties on a bun. Glad I brought my own.

Monday evening we had dinner over in the church parish hall. I was a sponsor for a girl joining the church this year and they had a nice sit down dinner for our class. There was about 12 of us there and it was such a nice relaxed time. They served a tossed salad, parmesean chicken and noodles and garlic bread. I had my salad first and then we started on the main course. Between the chicken and the conversation, I was barely able to eat a 1/8 of my food. Luckliy I was able to bring it home because it was really good. Probably will be what I have for dinner tonight.

Amy, did you get back on track after the refrigerator attack? I also have been having an issue witht the pistachio nuts. But I made a deal with myself that I can have them everyday If I promise to only have about 5-7 of them at a time and not half the bag like I would love to do. So far, we are working with each other on the 5-7 a day.

Hilary, What are funeral potaotes? And excuse me for asking but why is you gynecologist taking care of issues that your primary doctor should be doing. I didn't know they dealt with thyroid issuses and weigh loss. But if he can do it and it is easier and cheaper to do it that way, I understand. And I'm so sorry for the boyfriend troubles. I'm sure you don't need that extra stress.

This is such a bumpy road that we are on, but I'm glad I have you guys to help me keep straight.

Suzie,

That is so cool that you worked at the election polls. I've filled out paperwork to volunteer to do that, but I haven't been contacted. I guess my area must have enough volunteers already. It sounds like you have been busy between that and your church activity. BTW, parmesan chicken sounds yummy.

Funeral potatoes are a standard Mormon dish. My immediate family is Mormon (LDS), although I am considered "inactive" due to my lack of participation. I'm definitely an old maid by Mormon standards! LOL! Funeral potatoes are frozen hashbrowns mixed with cream of chicken Soup, sour cream, and tons of cheese, topped with crushed, buttered corn flakes. I recommend never trying it, because you won't be able to resist it if you've ever tasted it!

So, I see my PCP for things like migraines, colds, cholesterol, etc. But, my gyn is much better for issues like weight, hormones, acne, female issues etc. He is an amazing doctor. In fact, I have a friend that sees him for any medical issue. He is basically her PCP. She will go see him if she has a cold even. He likes to treat the whole woman and not just her reproductive system. I guess I just see who I feel most comfortable with for whatever issue it is. I know that my PCP, although a wonderful woman and doctor, would not offer me much help with weight. But, the benefit of my PCP is that she can get me in fast, whereas I have to wait at least two weeks to get in with my gyn. But, it is nice to have a number of great doctors I can count on for care. Also, my town is small (30,000 people) and remote (nearest bigger city is 90 miles away). We don't have a lot of medical specialists here. No neurologist, no endocrinologists, etc. So, a lot of our doctors sort of multitask.

Amy,

I laughed when I saw you wrote that you "went off the reservation." Something about your word choice struck me as funny. :-) But, it sounds like you did okay even though you loosened up your standards a bit. Have you weighed yourself since you fill? Any weight loss? No pressure! Just curious.

The past few days, I haven't felt like going outside to walk in the desert (much to the dismay of my dogs). I'm hesitant to tromp around in the desert with my allergies having just calmed down. We've got the swamp cooler running in the house, so it is nice and comfortable inside. Instead, I've been doing old Kathy Smith aerobics videos from the 1980s. They are sooooo much fun. I'd forgotten how much I enjoy goofy old aerobics videos. I went to amazon.com last night and ordered a few more. I'm glad I have some private time during the day to do them, because I know I look so silly!

-Hilary

Oh Hilary, I do know what those potatoes are. I found the recipe about a year ago and tried them. It was for a dinner at work and I can home with an empty pan. I then again made them for a thing I was having here at the house. I managed to keep some for the next day beore they were all gone. Definitley not a diet food. But very yummy.

Aside from a sneak attack of allergies that had me scratching my eyes out, I'm still here and doing good. I actually slept a lot today because I took a half dose of antihistamine, which renders me completely unconscious. Not good for my work productivity, but it kept me from clawing my eyeballs out of my head. I haven't have allergies in years, but this spring for some reason is really getting to me.

Suzie, yes, I have been getting back on track after Monday. The one negative of going off plan is that it makes the head hunger worse, I think. Like, my brain says, you ate that the other day, so why not eat it again! You'll be okay! I'm trying to ignore it and hope that by getting back to normal, the cravings will fade again.

Hilary, wow, those potatoes sound good! I've never had them (although my housemate's new husband who lives here part time is LDS, coincidentally) but my housemate makes her mashed potatoes with cream cheese, marscapone cheese, and sour cream, and they are phenomenal, so I have trouble picturing them!

Since my fill at the beginning of March, I've been losing about 1-1.5 lbs per week. The latest fill hasn't altered it that much, but I'm pretty much eating the same, so I didn't really expect it to. Mostly it's just made me hungry less often, which is really what I was aiming for. Trust me, I'd love to be losing 15 lbs a month, but I'm trying to be realistic and exercise some patience. Really not my strong suit. :-P

Amy, I agree about the head hunger. It does that to me also. Well, if it was good enough for you yesterday then why isn't it today. Ugh.

That's awseome about losing the pound to a pound and a half a week. Keep that up and you will reach goal before you know it. I'm hoping that when I go see the Doc again that I will be at that same weight loss you are having. Speaking of the Doc. I need to call and get an appointment.

When we were there last week I didn't schedule an appointment because I was expecting to go back to work. Well, it looks like I have lost my job. They haven't called since I called and told them I was off of medical leave. Oh well, guess I'll spend the summer at home soaking up some sun and then look for another job after that.

I have lots of running around to do today and then I'm going to meet my friend Mary and go walk by the lake. Then I have a meeting to go to tonight. So looks like my day is set.

Have a great day.

Hi everyone - I'm happy to say that I woke up Monday morning of this week, weighed myself and then committed to my form of detoxing - only protein shakes for breakfast & lunch, and a band-friendly 1/2 cup total portion of a healthy dinner until I've lost 10 pounds. So far I've stuck with it and I'm down 8.8 pounds. I already notice a much more alert mind, looser jeans, craving-free self. It feels so good to be treating my body and band the way it deserves. Now I just need to wake up each morning and do the best I can each day. Sugar has such a direct affect to me - I swear that when I was banded 3 years ago, my entire body chemistry changed because of the way I cut sugar and bread/starches out. Now, whenever I have too much of those in my body, it's a direct affect and I gain weight overnight. It's kind of nice actually that I know exactly what I need to do for my body to react positively. Sometimes that's half the battle! Thanks for the support and for sharing your stories - it's helped me greatly and has inspired me to know that I'm not alone. That it's a PROCESS!

Haven't been here for months-banded in November, three fills, only 12 lbs down. And yes, it's me who has failed band. Sporadic and rare exercise. Stuck on scrambled eggs, but manage to eat bean burritos, a lot of eggplant parmigiana, and binge on chocolate. So, as we can only move forward, my question for all of you awesome banders is- is it too late? Did I blow it or can I start again - what is the best way to do that? Thanks so much for advice/support. I don't like myself much.

Suzie, I'm sorry to hear about your job. That's lousy news. Hopefully, though, you can enjoy the extra time off and find a new one you like even better as soon as you're ready.

Lela, I'm glad to hear you're doing well. Keep up the good work.

Anna, you can always start again. We're living proof of that. I think a visit to your doctor is a good place to start. It sucks to have to go in and confess that you haven't been doing well, but I promise that the doctor has heard it before. By going in and having a consultation, you can make sure your band is still properly placed, verify how much fill you have, and either get some added or taken away. If you're getting stuck on scrambled eggs , you might actually have been a little bit too tight, which can actually cause weight gain. Once you're ready to start again, you just need to go back to the beginning and follow all the rules. ALL of them, ALL the time. Measure and weigh your portions, keep track of your calories, take tiny bits, and chew chew chew until your jaw is about to fall off! You can do it, you just have too want it enough to work for it.

I'm still going crazy with allergies, which is helping neither my work nor my eating. I'm not doing badly, but it's harder at the moment. I think that because I spent so long using food to soothe myself, I'm still having trouble not doing that when I'm not feeling well. But I'll get through this, just like everything else.

Hope everyone 's having a good day.

Anna, I think we are proof enough that anyone can start over. And I for one am excited that I have a chance to do it. Stay with us and we will try to encourage and hopefully you will be an encouragemant to us.

So I go to fix my protein shake this morning and I decided to put about 3 ice cubes. What a difference it makes. I'm thinking I will have to try it more often.

Lela, congrats on the detoxing. This is a process. But one that makes it so worth it when we see the results on the scales and how our clothes start to feel on us. Keep up the good work.

I didn't get to go walking yesterday with my friend, so I'm going to go meet her after she gets off work. Tere is a park over by her house where her grandkids can play while we walk the trail around the play area. Makes it easy to keep and eye on the kids this way.

Have a great day everyone.

Thank you both for the encouragement. Did get up and walk today, and did get started on 5 day pouch test. Set some goals too. It's important for me to come here and check in. Thanks again. Hope today is good for you.

I read something this morning - have to sacrifice who you are now for who you're going to become.

Oh lord... FUNERAL POTATOS!!!! They're soo good. I was raised LDS too, though I stopped going to church when I was about 15. It's just not my path, but wow... those potatos are the best thing ever, and about the worst thing you can eat. They get their name because when someone passes away, the ladies Relief Society (which is sort of a women's auxilliary) helps to put together a banquet for people to attend after the funeral service. The potatos are a staple, and that's how they got their name. Your standard Mormon banquet, whether a wedding or a funeral, will have dinner rolls, iceburg lettuce salad, some sort of jello salad, funeral potatos, ham, and some kind of a desert, along with a non caffeinated beverage, usually fruit punch, root beer, or 7-up. (Did I hit all the major points, Hillary? LOL...) Anyway, I agree. Don't make them, or you won't be able to stop!

Sorry to hear about the troubles with your BF, Hillary, but it sounds like you're doing the best with what you've got, which is all any of us can do really.

I've had my good food days and bad food days lately too. I'll own that I had one night this week where I broke into the Forbidden Cabinet of evil snack foods, and had a mini binge on potato chips dipped in Nutella. Still, I'm reminding myself that it isn't the end of the world, and even though I slipped up and backslid into my bad habits for a moment, my good days are far outweighing the bad, and the scale is showing it.

I ended up having to get a bit of an unfill after all. I woke up last Friday morning so tight that I was having chest pain every time I took a sip of liquid. It felt like someone was stabbing me in the chest, and I was pretty miserable. I managed to elbow my way into an appointment that afternoon. My PA took out .3cc, which was enough to give me some relief. 4cc wasn't enough, 4.6cc was too much, so hopefully 4.3 will be just right. I'm ready for some green zone action.

I started moving more this week, and went for a couple of long walks with a girlfriend of mine, even when I really didn't want to go one day after a crappy day of work. I'm going to make a point of doing more this weekend too. I had good weight loss last week, and dropped to 262.5, but I've been bouncing back and forth between that and 263/264/262.5 all week. I've also been eating too much salt, and not drinking enough water so I'm sure that has something to do with it. I'm just doing my best to stay on target and stay motivated, even when the scale doesn't seem to want to cooperate.

I have to confess, my head plays a lot of tricks on me. Some days I'm high as a kite, and raring to go, and other days I get really down on myself and have a lot of self doubt as to whether or not I'm going to be able to pull this off, or if I'll lose a bit and then flunk out and regain everything like I have so many times before.