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Guest ASPHALT ANGEL

oh my gosh these are toooo funnny!!!! thanks for the laugh.

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Guest ASPHALT ANGEL

if you are drinking more Water than the hoover dam holds...you might be a bandter.

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Guest ASPHALT ANGEL

if your 2 year old cusses you out for using his baby fork...you might me a bandster.

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I you are sad because you are not yet in the band - it is not because you don't play an instrument - you just might be a wanna-be bandster!

thanks for the laughs! I needed them today!

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If it takes you an hour to eat a FREAKING PIECE OF CHICKEN!!! ...

you just might be a bandster.

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If you think being too tight is a bad thing, you might be a bandster.

If you have size DDD boobs and you still got a silicone implant, you might be a bandster.

If you no longer order a meal in a restaraunt, but you do graze on everyone else's plates with a shrimp fork, you might be a bandster.

If you tell people that you've lost weight by having a torrid affair with a swarthy set of Romanian gymnists, you might be a bandster.

If you cheer people on who are about to have surgery, you might be a bandster.

If you say sip, sip, sip, you might be a bandster.

If your find yourself pulling up your shirt to let perfect strangers see your scars and touch that odd lump under your skin, you might be a bandster.

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If you buy baby food and you do not have children, who might be a bander

If you count how many times you chew your food, you might be a bander

If you are in a band club and do not play a musical instrument, you might be a bander

If you puree your food and stll have all your teeth, you might be a bander

:rockon: :rockon: :rockon: :rockon: :rockon: :rockon: :rockon: :rockon: :faint: :faint: :faint: :faint:

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If you referr to chocolate bunnies as evil little monsters.....Youuuuuuuu might be a bandster

If you shout "glory" when you fit into a resturant booth.....youuuuuuuuu might be a bandster

If you ask the waitress to bring you a to-go box before you order your meal......youuuuuuuuuuuu might be a bandster

If talk to complete strangers about your hoo hoo or taataas and they have no medical degree........youuuuuu might be a bandster

If you tell complete strangers about your bowel movements and they say I know what u mean........youuuuuuuu might be a bandster

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If your hair is receding faster than your waistline, then you might be a bandster..........

If your favorite new home appliance is a blender, then you might be a bandster..........

If you are proud to announce to the world how much you weigh now (even if it is over 200 lbs) then you might be a bandster...............

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If your ever stuck with out being in a tight space you might be a bandster

If you have more leftovers in your fridge from meals eaten out then real food you might be a bandster...

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If you have Gas-X in every bag, car, desk & cabinet...

you might be a bandster.

If you can't talk while eating because it will break your concentration...

you might be a bandster.

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If you "freak out" because you swallowed your gum, you might be a bandster

If you can go online and PROUDLY display your before and after pictures, you might be a bandster

If you can spill you guts (literally and figuratively) to people you've only talked to online, you might be a bandster.

If you confess things you've never told even your husband, you might be a bandster

If you used to make your kids get/do things for you instead of doing them yourself, you might be a bandster

If "second helping" means having only one deviled egg and splurging to have another, then you might be a bandster

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If the word 'erosion' puts the fear of god into you, you might be a bandster.

If you use the word 'pouch' more than once a week, you might be a banster.

If you've been seen in restaurant bathrooms with long strings of slime hanging from your mouth, you might be a bandster.

If you would actually consider mixing meat tenderizer with Water and then drinking it, you might be a bandster!

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • bellaamey

      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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