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Dating and explaining weight loss



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Hello,

I am getting banned in January and I wanted to put this question out there. How do you answer questions to people who ask how you have lost the weight? Also, how do you approach the subject with someone you started to date after the band? Just curious.

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You don't have to tell anyone about having surgery unless you want to.

Just say, I'm trying really hard to eat healthy and exercise, which is the truth.

As far as dating, same thing unless it gets really serious.

Best wishes!

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I started dating an amazing man about 6 months ago, which was about 5 months after Lap Band surgery.

I was honest with him from the very start. In fact, I was even honest about how big I once once (over 400 pounds) and all the excess skin I now have because of the weight loss. He's also aware of how much I still have to lose.

I look at like this, if I have to hide parts of myself and life from a man so that he accepts me, then he's not worth my time. Accept all of me, my flaws and my strengths, or move aside and let me find someone who does.

For the record? We just moved in together a week ago and are very happy. He's VERY supportive of me in all that I do, including losing weight and being banded.

I'm glad I told him early on. It has helped him to better understand me along this journey and be supportive of me in the areas I need it most.

Just my experience.

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I started dating an amazing man about 6 months ago, which was about 5 months after Lap Band surgery.

I was honest with him from the very start. In fact, I was even honest about how big I once once (over 400 pounds) and all the excess skin I now have because of the weight loss. He's also aware of how much I still have to lose.

I look at like this, if I have to hide parts of myself and life from a man so that he accepts me, then he's not worth my time. Accept all of me, my flaws and my strengths, or move aside and let me find someone who does.

For the record? We just moved in together a week ago and are very happy. He's VERY supportive of me in all that I do, including losing weight and being banded.

I'm glad I told him early on. It has helped him to better understand me along this journey and be supportive of me in the areas I need it most.

Just my experience.

I'm very happy for you Missy! All my best to you both

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I tell people that I am on a high Protein diet and working with a nutritionist. If the BF is serious and you trust him, tell him. He could turn out to be a big supporter.

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Going into surgery, I didnt think I would tell many people, but you know it is nothing to be ashamed of or hidden at least for me. I have known some bandsters who havent told anyone and some who tell anyone with ears. I am comfortably in the middle and share openly with people. In terms of dating - i think it is something to be said once you know the person a bit more, just like most things I cant imagine it coming up on a first date, but I have found two of my best guy friends to be the most supportive of me versus some of my best girl friends. So I dont have many qualms about it. But again - that is just me and I think everyone is different and has the right to share or not share as they are comfortable! Best of luck - best decision I ever made for myself (5wks out)!

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
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