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Ya, Enuf.. back to topic about meeting his co-workers, I feel the same way.. we have been living together for 3yrs and I have been avoiding his parents like the plague. Good thing they live in another state so everytime they asked me to come for christmas I have an excuse. It's pretty sad. I can't wait to meet them.. I just want my bf to be proud of who he is with. Even though he loves me for me, I really am my own worst critic as I bet most of us are.

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Destynee, you hit it riight on the head. " i am my own worst critique".. my husband actually gets mad at me for looking over my body and pointing out whats gonna hang and look crazy after surgery!! Lol.. i dont do it to hurt my feelings, but rather to accept the changes now that i know will be inevitable...

I especially over do it when it comes to viewing myself in photos. I always say oh look at your arms or look at your facr. When most others are simply like " oh look at her doesnt she look beautiful"... it all will change with time..

Sent from my SAMSUNG GALAXY SII Skyrocket using LapBandTalk

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I have had experiences having been overweight in my past but not going to be in my future (which is an awesome thing to know) but though someones comment embarrasses or hurts me I am also a very vocal person and something triggers me to be just that with those type of people.

I tend to stand up to them, and let them know how idiotic they are. If I had been in your position I would have just as loudly made fact to how rude he was being and that I did not need his commentary, that though I just recently ate I was not eating again but waiting for my co worker. I would have continued just as loudly questioning him if I had ordered anything in unfortunately in a rude manner as he was giving to me and the answered it for him right away ( I know two wrongs don't make a right but that's how it normally takes to get thru to some people)

After that I would have then addressed in a polite manner this situation to their cafe management because that is something that needs to be dealt with.

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Growing up and as a nurse i endured insult after insult about my weight. The most hurtful though, came from my father when he asked me "are you trying to see how far you can stretch your skin". And they wonder why we are damaged.

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Godstyro-- you dont know how bad i wanted to!!!! I swear.. my manager ended up talking to her manager. I just dont speak anymore (not very social anyway when it omes to salutations)

JanB23- I am at a loss for words. I couldnt imagine the look on your face and hurt in your heart when you heard that. Kudos for not "snapping". People are just largely rude. What i still cant understand is why people feel the need to comment.?! I mt really feels as rhough they are questioning our intelligence to remind us we are overweight..

Sent from my SAMSUNG GALAXY SII Skyrocket using LapBandTalk

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Old people seem to be the worst with comments, and having been a nurse i came across a lot - "my you are a fat one" - "arent you a big healthy girl" - "you're fit for some one your size" - "dont sit in that chair, it is not very strong", "you shouldnt be playing sport at your size".

All this contributed to me getting as big as i did because when i look back on photos i really wasnt that fat, but I thought i was, so I used to think what the heck whats another piece of chocolate going to change. But you know what I have survived , not unscathed, but I have survived non the less and I am taking back control of my weight and my life, and so to all those people who have ever been rude to me, you can kis my @#*.

We are all worthy, intelligent people.

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I was at a swimming pool with my sister. I was very young but already very chubby. I was sitting at the food shack with my sister waiting on the adult swim to end because it was to hot. For her to sit on the pavement and a girl looked at her boyfriend and said " would you still love me if I was fat like that tubby girl?" And pointed at me. Then says " she is probably sitting here waiting for someone to drop food so she can eat it." :(

I was so sad I called my mom to come pick us up I just wanted to go home.

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What floors me is people that think a. That they have the right to comment and b. that they make comments like we are not fully aware that we are overweight

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And the people around us, our loved ones, seem to be oblivious to what we have endured and wonder why the wrong word can upset us so easily.

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I was at a swimming pool with my sister. I was very young but already very chubby. I was sitting at the food shack with my sister waiting on the adult swim to end because it was to hot. For her to sit on the pavement and a girl looked at her boyfriend and said " would you still love me if I was fat like that tubby girl?" And pointed at me. Then says " she is probably sitting here waiting for someone to drop food so she can eat it." :(

I was so sad I called my mom to come pick us up I just wanted to go home.

that just awe'd me.. how horrible. People are so ignorant and hurtful.. I sit and literally just think wth is wrong with people? I know how I was brought up.. and I know I could never say something like that about a person.. even when I was thin , "back in the day" lol.. never looked at someone and teased... it's cruel. Some people are really ugly inside... and the good ones see them for the ugly people they are.. men and women alike.

Which reminds me.. and this just happened about a 3 weeks ago because I was on my liquid diet... My CO-WORKER.. is hiatian and the reason I say her race is because I notice people from other countries are rude as hell.. so usually I don't take it so personally.. but this time I did. A week before.. I had ordered a lunch special from a pizza place that delivered, it was 2 slices and a can soda for 4.50. ! can't beat that! so ya.. i ate it... threw the box away... and then the next week.. all us girls are working.. and she says in front of everyone... Kay.... I was telling teresa.. omg kay ate that WHOLE box of pizza... omg.... and we laughed..... I looked at her, and said.. first of all, don't talk **** behind my back... 2nd of all.. it was 2 slices.. wth is your problem and If I DID eat a whole pizza .. you don't need to open your mouth... then she says.. well you look like you can eat 2 pizza's not to be rude" ( not to be rude? ") I really wanted to kick her ass right then.. but I want to keep my job. So is laughin.. thinking she is so funny.. and I got serious.. no smiling .. anything.. I tell her, you know you are a very rude person.. if you speak like that with me again.. You are going to lose your job.. I do not disrespect you.. do not disrespect me.

Needless to say.. her whole attitude changed. When I went back to work after the surgery.. and about 25lbs lost.. she says.. Ooooh sexy!! I just wanted to say, B**** please. >< grrrr.. I hate idiotic people who have no sense. I am a very tolerant person too.

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Why?? Do people not realise they are being hurtful or do they just not care?

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that just awe'd me.. how horrible. People are so ignorant and hurtful.. I sit and literally just think wth is wrong with people? I know how I was brought up.. and I know I could never say something like that about a person.. even when I was thin ' date=' "back in the day" lol.. never looked at someone and teased... it's cruel. Some people are really ugly inside... and the good ones see them for the ugly people they are.. men and women alike.

Which reminds me.. and this just happened about a 3 weeks ago because I was on my liquid diet... My CO-WORKER.. is hiatian and the reason I say her race is because I notice people from other countries are rude as hell.. so usually I don't take it so personally.. but this time I did. A week before.. I had ordered a lunch special from a pizza place that delivered, it was 2 slices and a can soda for 4.50. ! can't beat that! so ya.. i ate it... threw the box away... and then the next week.. all us girls are working.. and she says in front of everyone... Kay.... I was telling teresa.. omg kay ate that WHOLE box of pizza... omg.... and we laughed..... I looked at her, and said.. first of all, don't talk **** behind my back... 2nd of all.. it was 2 slices.. wth is your problem and If I DID eat a whole pizza .. you don't need to open your mouth... then she says.. well you look like you can eat 2 pizza's not to be rude" ( not to be rude? ") I really wanted to kick her ass right then.. but I want to keep my job. So is laughin.. thinking she is so funny.. and I got serious.. no smiling .. anything.. I tell her, you know you are a very rude person.. if you speak like that with me again.. You are going to lose your job.. I do not disrespect you.. do not disrespect me.

Needless to say.. her whole attitude changed. When I went back to work after the surgery.. and about 25lbs lost.. she says.. Ooooh sexy!! I just wanted to say, B**** please. >< grrrr.. I hate idiotic people who have no sense. I am a very tolerant person too.[/quote']

I literally can't believe the way people speak to other people. so disrespectful. Id never intentionally hurt anyone.

I've just learned to not listen to what others say. I'm big yes but I'm a good person. I hate that people judge me without even knowing me just because I'm over weight.

I seriously can't believe your coworker!!! She had nothing better to do but scope out your garbage??

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I would've told the cafe worker.Why,yes I am matter of fact.Then picked everything from the hot bar.Then I would've brought it up to the end of the bar.then left it there.

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I don't have any problem with a woman being big.i love accentuated curves and the cuddliness.Skinny or big.doesnt matter.beauty isn't shown all from the outside.A good attitude and you let me love you all up.im good.lol.so don't go getting skinny for me.

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I personally don't have any issues with a woman being big.some of that bigness accentuates the curves.skinny or big doesnt matter.Beauty isn't always determined from the outside.Let me love you up and I'm good.so don't be getting all skinny on me.

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    • LeighaTR

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      · 0 replies
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    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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