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Someone else posted about an ignorant person making comments about her weight pre-band to her fiance. I decided it's time to share my similar experience.

This happened the night before my very first consultation. What a coincidence, right?

I was picking my husband up from work. He's retail security, so I was walking around the store waiting for his shift to end. I saw one of his coworkers (that I'd met more than once) and said 'hey how's it going'. He said fine and treated me like I was invisible. Whatever right. My husband has told me dozens of times that he's not a good person and has a very low opinion of women (he has said any woman over 100lbs is fat). So I didn't think anything of it that he didn't recognize me or say hello.

When he got back to the office, where my husband was, he said "dude, this fat chick just hit on me. She looked at me like I was food!" Then turned the security camera to where I was standing (just outside their office at this point) and said "there she is!"

It took every ounce of self control my husband has not to lay him out right there. He knew he would lose his job. He told the guy I was his wife and walked out. I'm very proud of him for being the bigger man. It showed more respect for me to have self control than for him to do anything macho.

I've been good at not letting it drag me down. And it helps that the guy almost got fired over it. (He's working nights only now, so at most my husband only works with him 3-4 hours a week) But sometimes it's hard to remember that I'm taking control of my weight FOR ME and not some comment that was made.

So to all of you Newbies, Recently Banded, and Long Term Successes - Remember you're not alone. You are valuable. You are beautiful on the outside too, no matter what our culture tells us. Good luck to all of you!!

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Your husband showed great selfcontrol which is more manly than some men with their mouths an their "machoisms".

Yes we are all beautiful an valued no matter what society says.

Good luck on your journey

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Thanks for sharing. I see you are with True Results in Austin. I just had my surgery last Tuesday 5/8/12. Recovery was rough but I am at work today. I am happy I did it. The hospital was SUPER great to me and the whole process. I have had three other proceedures so I did not expect this to be hard at all but I was very suprised. However, you will be treated well at South Austin and by Dr Esqivil (even though you wont see him much).

I lost 12 lbs in pre opt diet (which is just adkins for Dr. Esquivil) and I have lost 1 lb a day since surgery for a total of 18 pounds down already!

Best of luck.

Katy

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Thanks Katy. I'm looking forward to it.

I sent you a message. Would love to keep in touch!

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I'm so sorry this happened to you. People don't realize how hurtful their comments can be, or simply don't care because they think people who are overweight or obese are not human beings. Kudos to your husband for not knocking the guy out!

Good luck on your journey, and don't let the bastards get you down...you'll have the last laugh soon enough!

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What a loser!!!! I can see how that comment would have cut deep. I hope he learned his lesson. Kind of reminds me of shallow hal's buddy with the tail...lol He always talked bad about women who weren't perfect and it turned out he had many issues of his own...lol

BTW - I went through True Results in Houston. Love the experience. They give you an option of getting fills at the surgeon's office or at True Results....my particular surgeon really didn't have an aftercare program....so next fill I am going back to True Results...I hear their program is more informational and supportive.

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Your husband made the right choice but I would still have cheated him on if he laid the guy out : )

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Cheered

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Sigh. It's not just limited to members of the opposite sex, as I'm sure we all know. Guys just seem to be more macho and jerkish about it. When I told my mother in law I was considering the band when I started my journey, her response was "that'd be awesome! Then you wouldn't be fat anymore!" She's also put out such gems as "I don't understand why you're so upset about being fat - you have a hot husband, a good job, and a great house!" and "Man, at least being fat you've got big boobs. I wish mine were big, but I don't want to get fat."

Errr.... <_<

It's frustrating though, because she's cheering me on and being supportive in her own weird, insulting way. Hubby has to keep taking her aside and working on the mechanics of tact with her.

Good luck with your journey - you're a beautiful woman now as I can see from your pic, and from the sounds of it, you've got an awesome hubby :)

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People are ignorant the worst part is it takes twenty compliments to dull the pain of one crude remark.. My husband said something so beautiful to me I cried this was right after we met and were just friends and I was explaining my lapband to him so he didnt look at me weird when we went out to eat and he said why do you have that? Im like because im fat and he said whos fat? Im like me I weigh almost three hundred pounds! He said so what you are such a beautiful women I dont even see your weight .. For someone to see me for me was the best day of my life... But u know what always sticks out in my head my step grandma looked at me and said youd be so beaitiful if you werent fat what a waiste of a face..... Im like wow dont sugar coat it... I just ignore ppl now who are ignorant they do not kbow my life or my story I know im healthy now and I know im loved and valued I dont need them

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Wow, sorry you had to deal with that kind of stupidity. Just ignore him and let karma deal with him later.

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I agree with everyone. There are rude people everywhere and its not just men. So glad your hubby didn't take him out. I've heard the fat comments all my life and it doesn't matter who says it, its hard to take..

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      Soooo I am coming to a realization
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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

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        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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