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Why didn't we know ... before surgery?



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Yes Research is a wonderful and necessary route to take when contemplating surgery of any sort. But most times people just don't know "what" to ask.

Sometimes they ask what they think they need to know and they realize after the fact they wished they had known something else. So just knowing what to ask is the big issue as well.

I think the title of this thread is a bit harsh. Just my opinion. LOL!!

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There is a bit of self responsibility here. I'm inclined to wonder too about this. I have sister-in-law who I begged to research, but she chose to go on what she has seen of my experience. Um... right. On on her 8th day after surgery, she's eating steak and wondering why it hurts so bad....

Sorry, but I think reading the literature is at LEAST imperative and I can't count the amount of times I've seen folks ask about why liquids? You mean no more carbonation? How often should I be eating? Why am I not losing weight?? Why can't I have potatoes, rice, bread and Pasta? LOL

I still think, if you even spend an hour looking at this site alone, ALL those topics are gone over a multitude of times. So, it's my theory that people pick and choose what they WANT to know and either forget the rest or maybe they just don't want to take the time to read and they'd rather have someone else do the research for them... like my SIL.

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For those of us who are "wired" into the WWW, not knowing isn't an option. But for many people, research into a medical procedure is still a foreign concept. Doctors are authority figures and if they recommend something it's a done deal, and their instructions--however hazy they may be--are followed. I don't think it's dumbness or laziness, just a different mind-set.

I agree. If I didn't have the internet, I don't know how much research I would've (or could've) done. I probably would've taken my doctor's word as gospel and maybe gotten a second opinion. I had a lot more belief in doctors before I had access to all the info and felt I was the best person to make decisions for myself, rather than someone I see once a year.

Also, I think some people are just plain desperate to find a solution trust the medical profession such that they look before they leap when the doctor recommends surgery. I researched the hell out of this, but I completely understand what it's like to feel desperate.

If you're drowning in the ocean and someone throws you a life preserver, it doesn't matter if it's Hitler or Mother Theresa throwing it to you - you grab that sucker and hang on.

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Then again, even with all my research, Inamed led me directly to the hands of the one surgeon I wished I'd never met.

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Then again, even with all my research, Inamed led me directly to the hands of the one surgeon I wished I'd never met.

Yeah what DeLarla said.

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Well, we all have different perspectives and so it would warrant that our experiences are unique. With that said, one does not know what one does not know.

I am inclined to question whether you have ever had an experience and wondered why you hadn't thought of THAT beforehand?! That is what is so cool about learning and growing, one experience leads to another and another...and so forth.

Believe me, if I went to the cardiologist today and he said that I DESPERATELY NEEDED bypass surgery, I would not rush home to get all of my questions answered. Perhaps, that is how some go into WLS. Maybe not in actuality, but mentally.

Just my thoughts.

Kelli

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I know from my own very recent experiences that there's a difference between what you think you know going in, and what you know after the fact. I researched, for a few years. Heck, I was here for half a year just asking questions. I thought I knew what I was doing, going into this, but I just had my surgery yesterday and I'm already lost, and already feel like I know nothing. If I asked the questions I have right now, I'd probably look like someone who didn't do any research, either. *shrug*

I felt the same way...there's something about actually going through the experience that makes all the research real. I KNEW what was happening the first time I PB'd (thank the LORD!!!) but it was still very scary.

I suppose that's why we are all here. I'd hate for someone to feel like any question is dumb, and not ask it. I'm happy when people stumble onto LBT like I did and go WOW! I'm sure glad I found you all!!!

Plus, if you don't know what questions to ask...how can you ask them of your doc? Still...these days you can surf the net for free at the library. In a way there's no excuse. It IS frustrating when folks ask a question they should have had the answer to before surgery. See Penni's thread about being your own advocate.

I think we are better off being patient, encouraging, and a bit more empathetic, maybe? That goes a long way in any community, online or not.

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Well, we all have different perspectives and so it would warrant that our experiences are unique. With that said, one does not know what one does not know.

I am inclined to question whether you have ever had an experience and wondered why you hadn't thought of THAT beforehand?! That is what is so cool about learning and growing, one experience leads to another and another...and so forth.

Okay, never mind what I said...this is what I meant but she said it lots better. :confused:

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Yes, my question may seem a bit harsh, but I felt that it was necessary to ask, and I'm not going to apologize for asking. Some people here seem to think that I'm picking on others but, all I'm trying to do is better understand why people don't research prior to having this surgery. Again, blind faith is just not my thing.

And to answer another question, yes, there have been times in the past when I've experienced something and thought "why hadn't I thought of that?" but, as of now, it wasn't related to this surgery. I'm not saying that I have all of the answers or that I know everything there is to know, but if I ever need information about this surgery or anything related to it, I try to find what I need to know before I start asking questions of other bandsters. That's me. Furthermore, I'm not asking ANYONE to be like me.

Lastly, if I come across as being unsupportive, forgive me. That's not me either. As many of you are well aware, feelings/emotions are very hard to express via just words on a message board. I think this site is great and very helpful for a lot of people.

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Hi Penni I see people's weight take upward moves when i look at other lap bander's stats.... I see that happened to u too. Do you think that happens when you need an adjustment or what?

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The point about desperation probably bears repeating. I've spoken to loads of preoperative WLS patients, and some of them are absolutely in the "enough talking already--OPERATE!!" mindset. Someone that intent on having surgery immediately probably won't think to ask questions until afterwards.

And Bermy, if you look in Penni's signature you'll see that she lost her band a couple of months ago. :confused:

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Tricia,

If you're not asking people to be like you, what, exactly, are you asking? :confused:

I fear that new people will perceive your question as arrogant and condescending. I hope it does not deter anyone from asking something they really could benefit from.

I'm not being rhetorical, either, I found lots of answer here and hope others do, too. In your post you refer to the necessity of asking your question, but I am missing this necessity somewhere along the line. :)

Kelli

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Tricia K., I totally understand why you had to ask this question. I am a big time "questioner" when it comes to everything. I really have to question and explore every aspect of something to fully understand the big picture in order to make big decisions (even small ones). I suspect you may be the same way. It is also really hard for me to wrap my brain around the fact that other people aren't like this, even though they are. That is where I think personal responsibility comes into play.

But when it came to WLS, even with all the research and weighing the risks...it came down to a gut check decision for me. So, maybe its just that some people make decisions on their gut and gather info. later. Who knows???

:confused:

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Tricia,

If you're not asking people to be like you, what, exactly, are you asking? :confused:

I fear that new people will perceive your question as arrogant and condescending. I hope it does not deter anyone from asking something they really could benefit from.

I'm not being rhetorical, either, I found lots of answer here and hope others do, too. In your post you refer to the necessity of asking your question, but I am missing this necessity somewhere along the line. :)

Kelli

Kelli,

I'm asking for insight as to why people wouldn't do extensive research before blindly going under the knife to have Lap Band surgery.

And, to answer your question about the necessity of the question, I'm going to cite a question I've read many, many times.

"If my post-surgery diet consists of ice cream, Cookies, regular soda, etc., why am I not losing weight with the band?"

I mean, come on!!! Didn't you have the sense to ask your surgeon and/or nutritionist BEFORE you had surgery what you should and should not eat in order to lose weight with the band? It isn't a magic pill. It's a tool. That is the type of question I get so annoyed with. Hence, my reason for asking the question.

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Then again, even with all my research, Inamed led me directly to the hands of the one surgeon I wished I'd never met.
That is so unfortunate and I'm sorry that you had to go through such a horrible experience.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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