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I Get Angry At Skinny Banders!



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I got banded at 213 lbs on Feb. 8th. I am now at exactly 199, and am exactly 5'1". My BMI is around 40 or 39.8 which is considered super obese (just a hair under morbidly obese) We are all trying to get healthy and overcome our addictions to food and poor habits. I applaud anyone at any age or weight who is taking this journey!

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Unfortunately very few people are truly happy with the way they look, so someone at any weight can be desperately unhappy with themselves. We're constantly bombarded with images of stars and celebs who look perfect and they then become our role models subconsciously.

Yet it's not real life at all, many of the most 'beautiful' men and women in the world don't look as good when they're not in the spotlight. It's not real life and it's not realistically attainable for most people.

Being overweight and unhealthy however is a different matter entirely, doing nothing means you are risking your life. So everyone deserves a chance to live a few more years!!

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Interesting thought/post

I'm someone who has experienced the "results not typical" success with my band. I often feel like the odd one out.

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I remember a lady at one of my nutrition classes after we were banded said somthing to me about not needing the lapband because I was not heavy enough. I weighed 240 at my surgery date. I needed to lose 80 to reach my nornal bmi.

Just because someone doesnt need to lose over 100 dousnt mean they dont need the same help. We were probably heading toward that anyway sooner or later. Its a personal dicision on when you have the lapband, some choose at 50 lbs, some choose at 100, some choose at 200. Some choose to not do it at all. I couldnt beleive someone questioned me why I needed to get it done, esspecially considering my before and after pics. But because I didnt need to lose over 100 I wasnt worthy? Fda and my doc says otherwise... :)

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Don't judge someone's reasons for choosing to be banded until you've walked in their shoes! One reason I haven't told people I got banded is because the typical reaction would be that I'm not big enough. But I have a very small frame with a congenital spine defect and have been in terrible pain for years that was only getting worse. No one other than immediate family knows about my issues with the pain because I don't like to complain!! If I had not had this surgery, I could see myself being confined to a "jazzy chair" within the next 10 - 15 years! That is not how I want to live my life. I thank God this surgery was available to me and I am already noticing a decrease in my chronic pain! DON'T JUDGE!!

Isnt that the truth? No matter how many times you hear "oh you don't need it. You aren't big enough. Oh you can do it just eat less exercise more. " Thats not going to make the weight disappear.

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I have heard that same question from people. They say I am not heavy enough so why not do this or that. My response is always the same. "I am an adult and don't need justify or defend how I live my life to others". Think I stopped doing that over 20 years ago when I moved out of my parents home. LOL.

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Truth be told I would gotten the band at 160. If I could have then I wouldn't have put my body through so much. That's me though. And of course it's not allowed at that wt. I wonder some times if stars don't find away to do it out of states??

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I will say I think some people don't think about the tone of their statements on this board. When some says " I'm 5'4" and I am so tired of looking like a cow at 220 pounds!"; to me it is mean spirited. After loosing about 160 pounds weighing 219 today was a huge victory for me. Am I still over weight sure. But when someone says they are a cow at 219 how do you think that makes me feel? Does that make them any better than someone on the street saying the same thing to me? No. Do I envy these bandster no. I hope I am bit more mature than that at my age. I just wish people thought before they spoke/wrote.

The funny thing with weight, at 208 I thought I looked like a fat cow, but I thought my best friend who was 220 looked MUCH better than I did and I have never thought about her that way. I also NEVER thought that about anyone but me. I haven't lost that much, but I'm always the fattest one in the room in my eyes. Even when I am around bigger people I always say, ah well they hide it better, they look more proportionate etc.

But I understand how you feel, when people who are 150 complain I roll my eyes. But I guess she probably feels the same like I do... it's not logic, but feeling hardly ever are logic...

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Im sorry are you suggesting i waited untill i was "super obese"? I'm 23, I didnt really "wait" that long!

I said in my orignal post that i didnt know who i was mad at but just i was mad. that i get frustrated that i wish i was 199!

I got banded at 208, not too far from 199. I had alarm bells set at different weights. I think in kg, so at 70 a small alarm rang, at 80 it rang again, at 90 it was louder, at 95 it was really loud. I was at 95 for a few years till i decided to get banded because I saw myself headed for the next big alarm at 100 (222 pounds). I am not being mean, and I am positive that elcee wasn't either - she's always very supportive and positive in her responses. I knew myself and I could see the path I was headed for - and once that realization set in I decided to take action. I honestly do wonder why it takes some people longer to get this realization and to take drastic action - but not in a judge-y way... in a 'hmm I wonder why that is' kind of way.

I too did not want to 'wait' because I knew I was headed for more weight gain. Not because I looked down on bigger people or thought badly of them - not at all!! - but because it would have taken me even more strength and courage and a longer road - something I don't think I would have been capable of.

I think it's really admirable that YOU have that courage at the young age of 23! It is impressive, and your achievement will be bigger than mine. I will have run a 10K you will have run a marathon. But we will both reach our end destination hopefully and catch up to elcee here who's lookin' pretty hot here ;)

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I actually thought I looked fine when I was 215lbs. I dressed well, was generally happy, never really felt unsexy, never suffered from lack of attention from men, but let's face it, I was still very overweight, and I was risking my health and my future if I didn't take control of my continuing weight gain.

I understand seeing someone with a much lower BMI and not getting what they're unhappy about. But anything over a BMI of 35 is considered obese. And obese is obese. It isn't healthy and it isn't good for you in the long run, whether you're 50lbs overweight or 250lbs overweight. So people deciding to do something that will give them a longer life, better health and a better chance at less obesity-related disease is a good thing. Does it really matter *when* they decided to do that, in the grander scheme of things?

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I am at the low end of the bmi but, I do understand how you feel and didn't take offence at your post. Just remember, people at the low end still have suffered through being overweight. Have still hated being uncomfortable, hated being the fat kid, hated trying on clothes, hated having the health issues that go along w extra weight carried around on our bodies...etc...etc.

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      Soooo I am coming to a realization
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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

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        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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