Ok family.... it's the morning of surgery and as I sit here at 6:20 AM EST, I think about, of course dying. What a morbid subject. I mean I watch my 2 year old son sleeping in his crib and I couldn't imagine not seeing his face ever again. Tears are brimming my eyes as we speak. And as I blink them back, I tell myself that only less than 1% die from this surgery. I have over a 99% chance of coming home tomorrow. I have a greater chance dying on the way to the hospital or on the way back or a couple of weeks from now from god knows what. Ok. No more talk of dying.

I'm gaining a new life here. I still don't feel nervous so don't take that rant above as nervousness. Just reality checking. However, the real reality of the situation is that I weight approx. 320 lbs at 24 years old. I have a 2 year old, and a husband of going on 3 years now. I want more kids!! well atleast 1 more will do. I want a daughter. I want to finish school, I want to earn more money. So the bigger picture here is not dying, but what I have to live for. My hopes and dreams, my goals and aspirations. If I only concentrate on dying, how can I see those things through? How did I become so pessimistic all of a sudden. Probably from listening to my husband, he is the president of the Pessimistic states of Pessimistica. :haha: Yea I know humor this early in the morning, from me? Who knew. Anyway, I will take the optimistic traits of my fellow bandsters and role models. I will not let this get me down, I too will lose 100 lbs or more at my 2 year bandversary. I will look great, feel great and great things are only accomplished from a great attitude. Isn't that great? OK, OK. I guess I'm done ranting and raving. I'll see you guys on the loser side. I will update as soon as we get home on Saturday. And as I approach this fork in the road, I will take the lighter side toward a new me, and leave that dark half behind right where it belongs.

:love:

Marcelle

Oh Marcelle, you are going to be fine one way or the other but cover all bases. Whatever side you come out on is the winning side. God is the other side but we will be on this side:grouphug: cheering you on and waiting for you. With that said, I don't know Gods plan but he has your back.....Trust in Him.

Girl enjoy your anesthesia, they make great cocktails:cocktail:

Marcelle,

I wish you sooooo much luck with surgery and weight loss.

It's a scary thing going under the knife, I believe we all have the same fears and thoughts of dying before surgery, it's very normal. I wrote a will to my husband before surgery and got all my papers in order just in case.

Let us know when your home and recuperating and loosing..........

You will be fine. We will all be thinking of you today. Try not to worry!!

Cristina

I did this too. I cried all the way onto the surgery table. I was so scared. But then... poof... it was done. Good luck today and we will all be thinking of you!!!! We hope you are posting and recovering well soon!!

I'm home you guys.... and I'm doing well besides the gas thing. And I'm hungry. Thanks for all the well wishes. You'll be hearing more from me soon.

Congrats on the Band:clap2: :clap2: and im glad your well. I will be joining you on the 8th.