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"you're Not Going To Lose Any More Weight, Right?"



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As of today.... I am officially in a normal weight range. I am no longer considered overweight according to the BMI. The funny thing is that when I went to type my weight into the calculator, I typed "258" instead of "158". I caught myself immediately after, but it made me think.

Yesterday a guy at work told me that he thought I weighed 100 pounds. 100 pounds?!? I scoffed and laughed and he said I couldn't weigh more than 120. I didn't tell him my actual weight, but he seemed shocked that I weighed more than 120. I don't think I look like I weigh 120, but people had been telling me for months they thought I weighed no more than 130. And I've lost more weight since then.

Another guy told me I was a skinny b***h (as a girl would say to another... he's gay). I said, "Not yet" and he said, "Yeah, you are, now."

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Do you ever get a shock when you really see yourself though? Like photos, when you were fat and you'd see one that you inadvertantly got caught in and you'd not recognize yourself for a minute, then be completely devastated that that fat pudding in the middle was you?

I do that now with photos and the occasional suprirse view in a window or mirror. Even after being below goal weight for three years, I *STILL* dont think of myself in my head like I do. I still have the same fantasy me in my head that I did when I was fat, and it doesnt really look like me at all. When I get these little suprirse snippets I can see why people would tell me not to lose more weight.

But I still think its really warped how people see normal weight as unusually skinny.

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My mom told me at Thanksgiving that I was at a good stage of my weight loss and did not need to lose any more....I then had to inform her that I (at that time) was still in the 200's. She could not believe it. I do not know if it is because my weight has been coming off quickly or I just haven't weighed under 215 pounds in many many years, but I know I definitely need to lose more! Congrats on your weight loss!!

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Do you ever get a shock when you really see yourself though? Like photos, when you were fat and you'd see one that you inadvertantly got caught in and you'd not recognize yourself for a minute, then be completely devastated that that fat pudding in the middle was you?

I do that now with photos and the occasional suprirse view in a window or mirror. Even after being below goal weight for three years, I *STILL* dont think of myself in my head like I do. I still have the same fantasy me in my head that I did when I was fat, and it doesnt really look like me at all. When I get these little suprirse snippets I can see why people would tell me not to lose more weight.

But I still think its really warped how people see normal weight as unusually skinny.

I was very anti-cameras. I still am, but I'm better. On this forum is the first time I've ever displayed a picture of myself. I don't even have pictures of myself on Facebook! About half of the people there don't even know what I look like. And not just "for many years", but like.... ever. I have a lot of people from another forum on my FB and I've posted there since 2004. A year where I was clearly overweight. I kind of want to share what I've been through there, but at the same time.... I don't really want to admit even that I "was" fat.

I seem to look different each day. Like yesterday, for instance, I looked quite thin when I looked in the mirror. A week ago I thought I looked chubby and my waist looked large. I think a lot of my problem is that I have a lot of excess looseness and it's, unfortunately, getting worse. I'm definitely going to need to get some work done. But some days I look in the mirror and I'm like DAMN my waist is getting small! Still have a booty, though. I had someone tell me I had a nice butt for a white girl, HAHAHA.

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My mom told me at Thanksgiving that I was at a good stage of my weight loss and did not need to lose any more....I then had to inform her that I (at that time) was still in the 200's. She could not believe it. I do not know if it is because my weight has been coming off quickly or I just haven't weighed under 215 pounds in many many years, but I know I definitely need to lose more! Congrats on your weight loss!!

Even since posting this originally, I'm getting more comments where people are like "You look good right now, you don't need to lose anymore". Yeah, I get it... I'm not overweight anymore and I don't "need" to, but I want to. I would look better if I did. And so I will!

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I think go for it. So many people seem to think that we shoudl just accept near enough. I've had the same argument on another forum, you know, I've lost 110lb, I've gotten extremely fit, then I got cancer, had a year of treatment, some horrible surgeries. They used my caesar scar during the laparscopic bowel resection and my surgeon, great as he is at saving lives, is no artist. He butchered it and it now has hernias at each end, looks like I have testicles. I want it fixed, I raised the subject with him and he referred me on gladly, but I did mention I'd probably ask the guy to take out an inch or two of skin. My main loose skin is upper abdomen and it will only marginally improve it, but why not take the chance to perfect a bit of yourself if you can. It wont cost me anything much, as it is "reconstructive". My surgeon said to me somethign along the lines of, why would you want to do that, youv'e got a better stomach than a lot of 44 year olds, nobody is ever going to see it, you look fine. .Because dammit, I deserve perfection, that's why!

My view on cosmetic surgery - I'm all for it, but with three teenage kids I could never ever spend that sort of money on myself. Im not in a space where I could do it and if we had spare money like that, it'd be for a family holiday, not to beautify me. But if I can get it done for virtually nothing, then I'm bloody well going to.

Likewise with the weight loss - you're right, you dont NEED to, but there's nothign wrong with wanting to. Near enough isnt good enough for high achievers!

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I saw my surgeon a week ago and he asked if I was going to lose any more weight. I said yes, that I wanted to lose around 20lbs more. He's like, "Oh, really? Well, you look great where you're at." (or similar). I brought up how I was still considered overweight and he said the BMI doesn't take into account muscle, etc... as if I have any! So it seems like even he was basically saying I don't need to lose any more.

I get that I don't NEED to, for health reasons.... but I'd like to for personal reasons. I would like to have a fit, toned body that's free of excess fat.

At one of my presurgery classes, they pointed out that many will not reach a normal BMI. Often it is due to the extra skin. 20 lbs of slin hanging around can throw off a BMI calculation.

They just wanted us to be aware that for some it is an unreachable goal, but does not detract from your success.

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But I still think its really warped how people see normal weight as unusually skinny.

I think this says something about our western cultures. People look at women in the "normal" weight range and see them as "skinny". Because being overweight is, unfortunately, becoming normal.

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Just the other day a friend and his wife made the comment... you look amazing and have done so well... you arent going to lose any more are you? I said...well I am 60 lbs from goal so yes... I plan on getting to my goal. They were both staring at me like I'd just said something horrible....

I appreciate that I can disquise my fat but I seriously didnt come all this way not to get to normal BMI and acually fit in on a weight chart! LOL

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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