Hey all...

My husband went with me to surgery November 24, 2010, at which time I weighed 260lbs. He left for Fort Hood and later Iraq less than a week later. Fast forward six months, I am a size 10-12 and weigh 170. He is coming home for R&R in a month and I am so nervous about what he will say and feel. I have a lot of excess skin on arms, thighs and stomach, and know that even though I have lost nearly 100 pounds, I am not pretty when naked. I have also drastically changed the way I eat, dress ( not sexy wise, but less baggy), and behave (becoming increadibly shy since surgery in order to avoid questions). He is a meat, potatoes, and bread man, all of which I have given up. He loves food, and I am scared that when he comes home for good, I will struggle to keep the weight off.

We skype 3-4 days a week, and he knows that I have lost a lot of weight (not the actual number becasue I choose to keep that to myself), but I know that seeing me in person will be very differnt that on a computer.

I guess that what I am looking for is anybody who has ever experienced this for themselves. I have been averaging nearly 10-15 pounds a month weight loss, and so I think I will be around 160 when he comes home, which would put me even smaller than I was when we started dating over ten years ago. He thought I was beautiful before the weight loss and we have always had an amazing marriage, but I am very nervous about his reaction. Will I be disappointed? Will he not like the person I have become? Any advice or similar stories that you have to share would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks!!

Becca

Becca I have not experienced this with weight loss, but I am sure that he will find you beautiful. He saw the beauty of you inside and out when he married you and he still will. Remember that he is going through a lot while he is away and you will both learn to adapt when he is back. It might be difficult at first, but just think of it as another opportunity to get to know each other and fall even more in love. When my husband came back from Viet Nam he was like a skeleton but I still saw him as handsome. You will feel the same about him and he will you as well. We look forward to hearing about it when you have a chance.

Hey all...

My husband went with me to surgery November 24, 2010, at which time I weighed 260lbs. He left for Fort Hood and later Iraq less than a week later. Fast forward six months, I am a size 10-12 and weigh 170. He is coming home for R&R in a month and I am so nervous about what he will say and feel. I have a lot of excess skin on arms, thighs and stomach, and know that even though I have lost nearly 100 pounds, I am not pretty when naked. I have also drastically changed the way I eat, dress ( not sexy wise, but less baggy), and behave (becoming increadibly shy since surgery in order to avoid questions). He is a meat, potatoes, and bread man, all of which I have given up. He loves food, and I am scared that when he comes home for good, I will struggle to keep the weight off.

We skype 3-4 days a week, and he knows that I have lost a lot of weight (not the actual number becasue I choose to keep that to myself), but I know that seeing me in person will be very differnt that on a computer.

I guess that what I am looking for is anybody who has ever experienced this for themselves. I have been averaging nearly 10-15 pounds a month weight loss, and so I think I will be around 160 when he comes home, which would put me even smaller than I was when we started dating over ten years ago. He thought I was beautiful before the weight loss and we have always had an amazing marriage, but I am very nervous about his reaction. Will I be disappointed? Will he not like the person I have become? Any advice or similar stories that you have to share would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks!!

Becca

Congratz on the weight loss, you have done amazing. Please don't stress about what he will think, he's going to love you and think you are beautiful. No matter what we look like I think we will always see our flaws and not like ourselves. I've had those homecomings where I've lost weight and gained weight and it's always just good to be reunited again. I've had that fight with my husband and food myself, cause what I eat around him and what I eat when I'm by myself is completely different, just have to make good choices and eat less of the bad stuff.

If you don't mind me asking, how tall are you and what is your goal weight? I would love to be 160 as that is my skinniest weight, and that's my goal for now, guess we will see if it changes later. Any tips for the newbie? What has worked for you?

Congratz on the weight loss, you have done amazing. Please don't stress about what he will think, he's going to love you and think you are beautiful. No matter what we look like I think we will always see our flaws and not like ourselves. I've had those homecomings where I've lost weight and gained weight and it's always just good to be reunited again. I've had that fight with my husband and food myself, cause what I eat around him and what I eat when I'm by myself is completely different, just have to make good choices and eat less of the bad stuff.

If you don't mind me asking, how tall are you and what is your goal weight? I would love to be 160 as that is my skinniest weight, and that's my goal for now, guess we will see if it changes later. Any tips for the newbie? What has worked for you?

Thanks for your quick response. It sounds like you have been down this road before. I was just skyping with him and talking about these very issues, and he said all will be ok.

As for you questions, I am 5'6'' and my goal weight is 135 - 145, but don't know how realistic that is because I am very muscular, etc, but we will see... I told my husband that after we have out next baby, I want a tummy tuck and boob job...so needed!!!

My advice is to become a work out fanatic. I work out for 45 minutes each morning before work (4:30am) on the elliptical machine, and then again after my daughter goes to bed, usually around 8:00, on the elliptical machine again for an hour. I am a teacher, so I am on my feet all day, and have a toddler I am always chasing after. I am a stong believer in Protein shakes (50 grams a day minimum)...love Nectur in lemonade and fuzzy navel...for Breakfast each day, zone and cliff bars for lunch, and healthy dinner. I do not eat bread, Pasta, and limit fat to 25 grams a day. I keep a food journal and my motto is "If i eat it, I write it." and that helps hold me accountable.

Also, my doctor scares the S**T out of me! He is very strict, and a know it all, but I need that push, not somebody who will hold my hand!!

Best of luck as you continue losing weight.

I am sure that he will be just as happy or more to see a skinny you as a fatty you. It is not as if you kept it all secret. Good luck! Buy a new dress and meet him in it. It will hide any loose skin until the big "show"! Karen

I am sure that he will be just as happy or more to see a skinny you as a fatty you. It is not as if you kept it all secret. Good luck! Buy a new dress and meet him in it. It will hide any loose skin until the big "show"! Karen

Becca, I agree-don't focus on the loose skin focus on how fabulous you look and how wonderful it will be to see your hubby!

Buy a sexy dress-yes sexy and a good push up bra-go all out!! Get a cute nightie the covers the right spots. This is a celebation!! If he loved you at 260 he's not going to care about loose skin!! I would suggest even getting a glamour photo done so he can have it when he goes back.

Good luck girl-you've got this!!

Remember, when a man has a naked woman in front of him all he's thinking is, "Awesome! I have a naked woman in front of me!"

Flaunt what you've done, if you're confident and you just go for it, all he'll be thinking is "THANK YOU!!!"

; )

Becca~my husband went to Bosnia and when he came back I was around 50 lbs. lighter (of course, I regained it...it was pre-band!) but, it was a wonderful experience. Your hubby will not care about your excess skin. He will be thrilled to have a wife there and a healthy one at that. He won't be able to keep his hands off you! As for the meat and potatoes....I think that fear is completely normal. I would be scared of that diet too! Maybe he will be so glad to be home he will change the way he eats too. Maybe give him a once a week "special" dinner. Congrats on his happy return.

How exciting for the two of you to reunite. My husband had to move to texas to work and I am down here visiting tbis weekend and it is amazing. The intimacy is so much better and I have only lost 20 so far. Enjoy, he will love you no matter what and u can show him some new moves that you couldnt do 100 lbs ago lol

He is probably feeling the same insecurities himself. As much as they try to say the experience didn't change them, it always does. He is most likely just as worried that you may see him differently and find a few flaws as well. (FYI: I'm a military mom, and my son and his friends worried most about how well they would be able to perform after so many months of celibacy.)