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My Story - without an ending
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Hi Folks,
I had my lapband put in 3 years ago. Hard to believe it's been that long and I'm still wearing the same clothes! I want to share my story. I'm not going to lay all the blame for my 'failure' on me, on the lapband or any one place. I believe there is enough blame for everyone! But honestly, I'm sick and tired of feeling guilty so I've moved on from the anger part.
I thought this lapband was the be-all-end-all! I went thru so many hoops to get it. Insurance paid most, but that doesn't mean it was easy! I remember asking the surgeon why he was recommending the band versus bypass. He told me that because I was in overall good health (other than the weight), I really wasn't a candidate for bypass. Right - now anyone who feels a little plump can get it (I know - a bit of an overstatement, but so what). Apparently, my lifelong battle with weight and the 140 extra pounds I was carrying wasn't enough. Fine - the band was still billed as the savior. So what if it took me 2 years versus one year - so I thought then.
Here's what I was told.
Here's what I found out:
Long story .....long....I'm pretty unsold on my lapband. I have 2 family members who had bypass after I had my lapband surgery. I'm the only fat one left. Do I blame it all on this band? Of course not. I make the choices as to what I put in my body and how much I make it move. But do I think these Dr's and companies sell us a bunch of hype? You better believe it. They see us as desperate. The bigger my pant size is when I first walk in their door, the bigger $$ signs they see. This thing is a tool. It is no different and no better, in my opinion, than the points counter I used on WW. It's just a tool.
So, I've failed at the lapband thing. So what. Does it define who I am? Nope. I still have it. I probably need a fill, but won't get one done until I am ready to tackle this issue completely. I read somewhere someone else had their failure story and one of the reponses was the "rules" about nutrition, etc. I think I'll print it out. After a while, you forget, you know? That seemed helpful. My point for writing this is simply to tell my story. I'm not looking for sympathy or a good butt chewing. Sometimes, it's helpful just to get it all out and 'down on paper'.
So here's to another summer wearing the fat suit on the beach. But Priase God I get to go and play on the beach! With my adoring husband, great kids and their families and the most precious 8 month old granddaughter ever born! Maybe next year, eh??