I can't (won't/don't/rarely ever) follow rules when it comes to food. I can follow all sorts of other rules and am very disciplined in other areas of my life. But I lose this battle with this demon so often that it's just killing me! I'm begining to wonder if I've made a huge 10,000.00+ dollar mistake.

I should have known that I could not follow the rules. About the only rule I have followed faithfully is giving up soda drinks.

I'm so afraid I'm going to hurt my band by over eating with it. How did you guys stop over eating when you'd always done it before? I was hoping that when the pouch was full, I wouldn't want or be able to keep on eating? But the food just goes on down, just like before the band.

I know I have said this before, but....

If I could follow food rules, and had no obsession with food, I wouldn't have ever needed a band or anything else other than a plan/goal and the will to obey the rules of food & exercise.

How is it that those of you out there have lost weight when you hadn't been able to before? How is it that you were able to go from binging all day long, to eating 3 - 1/2 c. portions of food a day without snacking inbetween meals?

Are things really evergoing to change for me when I have sufficient restriction?

I have gained back all but 3 of the 10lbs I lost after surgery. 5 lbs just since the 1st of November.

It's like I have an obsessive compulsive swing in mood about every 3-4 months or so and boy does it take it's toll in my ability to think and act straight with food. That's on top of a milder swing associated with PMS!

It's a huge inner thing that totally takes over my brain and view of body and mind. I spiral down and I can not get control of it. Then, a month or so later, I'm over it but I'm stuck with the effects. Usually 5 or more lbs gained and a feeling of what a loser I am. Sometimes it is spurred by a word or two or a weigh in.

I can speculate as to the reasons for this self distructive behavior. Maybe it's because I was sexually molested as a child and hated my body for much of my childhood, I don't know? I don't hate myself at all now. It's more frustration and not hate now.

Reasons don't really matter in the end do they? It is what it is and I must find a solution. Maybe you can help me.

Why can't I stop this bad behavior?

Is there any hope for me?

It's a darned good thing I never did drugs or even drank alcohol....I surely would have been an addict to those things too. I suppose I should be thankful it's just sugar and carbs.

Well, one thing I know that I can do to improve my situation is to get exercising again. It used to keep me sane when I was in my 20's. Now, it's so hard to stick to it consistantly with a constantly changing family schedule.

I've got a good excuse for everything I'm not doing right! I know that I can do this much though towards feeling better.

I know there are all sorts of spelling errors and that this post is hard to follow, but I'm going to post it as is and hope that it doesn't drive you all crazy!

The reason I got this band is because I don't want to obsess with food for the rest of my life. I realize that I have to be careful and make good choices. But I also realize, skinny people eat desert too. They don't eat 14 Cookies in one sitting or 3 pieces of cake. They can have 2 pieces of pizza and be satisfied. They also often have to excersize and say no to this or that if they want to maintain their weight. They also eat salad and drink splenda in their tea. If you go to they gym, you don't see only fat people there. There's usually way more skinny people there.

It's so hard, I know. Especially the exercize part. I don't hate it, I just have a hard time getting there.

Here's some advice, start every day with a good load of Protein. Either a good shake (which I do). I find it helps me to eat better all day long.