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mercedes

LAP-BAND Patients
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Everything posted by mercedes

  1. I hadn't heard from you in a while and wondered how you were feeling now (almost 3 weeks out)?
  2. Is there a trick to overcoming myself? Why am I so self destructive? Not that that matters because I may know a few reasons why and to know it doesn't cure it. A little refresher to help give insight into my mind....I think I may have mentioned in another thread long ago that I was molested when I was little. Obviously that accounts for the unhealthy view of my body. But, I am old now and I know it wasn't my fault, I like men just fine and I know they are not all losers just because this one was. I feel like I am over all of that stuff yet some of the bagage must still be there??? Again though, knowing the cause of some of the behaviors I exhibit, doesn't fix them. A weird thing is that if you were to ask me if I was happy, I would have to say "yes" because I am very thankful for the many good things in my life. (Oh and 2 of my 4 boys are teenagers and they are high maintanance but I don't account that as a negative in my life...eventhough they are hard.) The ONLY thing that I am not happy with is myself. Here is me: I think I am fat and therefore if I lose a few lbs. my mind cannot deal with it and I gain it right back. It's like my mind says "wait a minute! You can't weigh 160! You weigh 165!" So as soon as I reach my mini goal, I ruin it. Another voice says that I cannot succeed and that I do not deserve to be anything but frumpy. Another voice says "If you don't lose weight by this week, your vacation will suck." And I put pressure on and expectations to be perfect right now. I have had such poor self esteem all of my life. I have always hated/felt negatively about my body and myself. Anytime anyone gave me a compliment, I would counter that it was not true. Either aloud or internally. Still, to this day, I do not usually let people compliment me about anything much. I have never been morbidly obese, just enough overweight to be unattractive (unsuccessful). Which is obviously where my insides demand I be. I had 5 good years in my early 20's where I was free from my demons and was okay with food (although I did do some bulimia(sp) type things from time to time). I worked and had a good social life. Then marriage and kids and PMS and being stuck at home with food came along and I was doomed to fail. Another thing that happens is that I get out of sorts every few weeks and it takes a couple of weeks to feel "normal" again. By that time I have done so much damage (weight wise) that I am upset with myself for that. I feel like I just start feeling good and then here comes another wave. I deal with this inner aggitation by eating to calm myself. I crave sweets and carbs and am unaware of what I am putting in my mouth. I just want to feel better and so I eat. I am a little crampy and so I have always felt it's probably PMS. Sometimes it's worse than others. Am I going to have to go on Prozac? I hate taking ANY pills. I am bad at it. I can't take pills because of the band, right? Is there a cure? Why can't I allow myself to succeed? How can I overcome the inner self that demands that I remain overweight? That overweight is what I am? That tells me I am not worthy of success? Do self destructive people ever come out and conquer that bad inner self? Is it even worth seeking counseling? If anyone has been here, and then conquered, please tell me how you did it. This band will never work until I can get my mind right.
  3. mercedes

    Is there a psychologist in the house?

    Hi Gayle, Ya, I'm not good at pills. No doctor ever has to worry about me getting hooked on anything...it would never happen. Well....unless it comes in caramel flavor and has about 500 calories per serving : ) I really am a pretty happy person. I just don't get why I continue to do what I do to ensure my own failure w/ wl. I mention the things I do because I am grasping and thinking "is it this? or is it this?" I'm hoping that someone has overcome it before me and can teach me...Just a hope : )
  4. mercedes

    Is there a psychologist in the house?

    Prozac comes in liquid? Cool!
  5. mercedes

    Is there a psychologist in the house?

    I go to a gym right now and it is part of a Dr.'s office who does both surgery and medical weight loss. I've done the medical weight loss and there is a Psychologist in his office and so I guess she'd be the best since she's been working w/ over weight people. I'll make an appt.
  6. mercedes

    Gotta change my behavior...HELP!

    One thing that I like to eat that cannot be eaten fast is sunflower seeds. If you eat them two or three at a time, it will take you all evening to separate them with your tongue and teeth. No fingers allowed : ) They are high in Protein and are good for you (unless salt is a problem for you). I get totally hooked on them durring baseball season and they are my dinner there at the games. P.S. Frito Lay brand are the very best!!
  7. mercedes

    Disappointed Big Time

    I guess the big part of the problem with me was that I never overate because of hunger. Feeling fuller longer, I should have known, was not the cure for me. I need a brain bypass. I play so many games with myself when it comes to food. I must say that I would gain weight faster if it weren't for the band. For that reason I am not totally disappointed. I have been dieting with a dietician and working out at a gym with a trainer 2x a week since March and have lost 9lbs. It's something, and I am thankful for it.
  8. mercedes

    pain pain pain : (

    I try so hard and nothing works quite right for me. I was complaining about horrible gas, the kind that totally makes it so that you can't function, a few weeks ago. It eventually subsided for the most part. BUT if I follow the band rules it comes back and the back pain also is so bad that I just pace and stretch and try to get over it. Today I had Protein pudding for Breakfast. At lunch time I had a pack of gum size piece of steak (which I absolutley chewed the heck out of) and I had a couple of pieces of broccoli which I also chewed the heck out of. I thought I was going to be fine but then about 15minutes later... OUCH! And then for the past 2 hours I can't stand it. My back hurts so bad but there is no sign of BPing. This can happen to me any time and it happens with chicken too. I never know when it will and when it won't. I'm afraid to eat what I am supposed to. I get so tired of Protein shakes and stuff like that. Then I end up eating high calorie junk and I don't lose. I rarely feel "restricted" the right way. I feel pain instead and I can't eat until later. Of course by then I am famished and do you think I'm going to eat meat???? No Way! I have felt the right way with restriction a few times (maybe 4 or 5) with meat and that meat stayed there for the longest time keeping me full and without pain...so I know how it is supposed to feel, I just can't find that happy place hardly ever. I have found the BP place and the pain place many more times than I can count. I know I am not filled too tight because many times I can eat A N Y T H I N G. I just never know if I'll be able to eat the meat or not. Luckily I don't feel this bad every day or the band would be gone. Incase you were wondering...I can eat ice cream any time with no pain whatsoever : ) The biggest part of the pain seems to be gone now. WHEW! 2 1/2 hours of extreme pain....now it's more dulled achy pain....I'll live. What I want to know is has anyone gone through this and then all of a sudden found the happy place consistantly and stayed there long enough to lose the weight? Any ideas of what I may be doing wrong?
  9. mercedes

    pain pain pain : (

    I know I am not filled too tight because there are times when I can eat anything, even bread and pasta. I really am quite sure I am not slowing down enough. Like Leenerbups said, I thought I was slowed down....because I am slower than before...but that isn't slow enough. I feel good today. I don't even feel swollen or anything. Liquid & mushies are going down just fine.
  10. mercedes

    pain pain pain : (

    I think you are all right. I think that what I am doing wrong is eating too fast. I chew enough but I must be eating too fast. I think I just don't think about extending a 1/2 cup of food over 30 whole minutes. I was about to try the beef again and cut it in eraser size pieces and eat it over 45 minutes, but maybe I should go to fluids today and mushies for a couple of days. I feel fine right now and I had a protein pudding this morning and it went down smooth as could be??
  11. mercedes

    pain pain pain : (

    Hi Guys, I don't think it's gall bladder. It's at bra strap level on the left in my back. It hurts in the banded area too in the front. There is food that will not pass through and it stays there for hours. I try to burp it up to get relief. This time it was stuck in there from 11:00 until 4:30 - 5:00. I could tell when the food went through and the relief was immediate. Only aches remained because of the trama. I can tell it's irritated still and that even liquid has to be taken slowly.
  12. mercedes

    pain pain pain : (

    You may be right. I'm going to try it again and take a full 30 minutes to eat the slice of meat. Its hard to be totally concious of the time. I may try using as timer and every 5 minutes take a very small bite. I ate that meat at 11:00 and at 3:00 I tried to drink and it came back up with a little of the meat. I was so thirsty : / Then, at 4:30 I tried some milk and the first few small swallows ended up coming back up. Then 30 minutes later I tried again with the milk and it went down and I could feel it go through. Then I ate a little bit of soft food and I feel so much better now...whew. I'm going to try something a little different tomorrow. I'm going to first eat a little protien pudding and then eat a small piece of meat. Def. taking my time!!!
  13. mercedes

    Disappointed Big Time

    "The band isn't for everyone some use to the fullest extent and some don't..the key w/ the band is that you have to use your tool the way it's suppose to be used". I don't know about everyone else, but I have a weight problem because I don't consistantly follow rules. If I followed the lapband rules before I had it implanted I would have lost a ton of weight. If we all ate 1/2 c. of food 3x a day (even if it was ice cream) we would lose weight. Right? I know I would. If our gastric bypass friends followed the rules they wouldn't gain anything back either. Right? I must say I have good days and bad days. Lots of times things will improve right when I was thinking that the problems where too much for me.
  14. mercedes

    Disappointed Big Time

    I was going to post a new thread on about the same thing. I'm with you Vanhos on the gas pain. I got over the gas from surgery in Aug. 05. Now, in just the past 2 weeks it has become regular and so painful. On Mar. 1st I started a diet & exercise program with an MD because I had only lost 10 lbs w/ the band and promtly gained it back. Since March 1st I have lost 9lbs ( yeah!). I exercise regularly w/ a trainer who pushes me HARD. I feel like I am doing it all on my own w/out much help from the band. Now the band is giving me problems. Horrible gas and some reflux. I had a piece of chicken about the size of a golf ball and it sort of got stuck a few days ago. I did eat it too fast probably. I didn't BP, wished I could have, and that chicken stayed in the pouch all night. Reflux?? In the morning I couldn't drink or eat anything for a few hours. Then I drank Water and felt it push things through. It seems as though gas is not moving through my lower stomach. It just stays there right under my left rib cage for hours. Sometimes it is in my shoulder area so bad that my muscles hurt the next day. I eat 100 grms of Protein a day. I'm trying to stay at 1000 cals, but usually it's a little more. I felt better when I was breaking rules and eating ice cream every day....except I wasn't losing! I usually don't have a problem w/ the gas in the morning (I usually have 100 cal Protein Drink or protein pudding) unless I try to eat something of substance. As soon as I eat real food (no matter how slow I eat or how bland the food) the gas will kick in. Never had this problem before the band. Never had a sensitive stomach before. It's been 2 weeks of this. What are the possible causes do you all think? Something must have triggered this for it to come suddenly and stay for so long???? I am not lactose intolerant.
  15. I just can't decide whether or not to get another small fill, like a .1 or .2. I have occasional restriction to where I can truly only eat 1/2 to 1 cup of food. It's so inconsistant. A week and a half ago I was so happy because for a full week I had restriction and I really had to be careful eating and chewing. This week I have virtually no restrictiona and I'm hungry too. My last fill was done the middle of January. Sometimes it works pretty well and most times it's not too tight. Have any of you been here and gone ahead with another fill? If so, how did it go? Should I be having restriction every day? I have a 4cc band and I have 2.2cc.
  16. mercedes

    What is a good diet to follow??

    There are a few keys that REALLY make a difference. #1) You need to keep a food journal. If you want the one my doc sells I could email you the web site. #2) You need to get in 100grms of Protein a day #3) You need to drink 64oz of Water a day #4) I have to stick to 30-35grms of fat a day (yours may be different, depending on your weight.) #5) I have to stick to 75 carbs a day (yours would probably be the same?) #6) I get 1000 calories a day (yours may be higher and probably would be simply because you are male) #7) I check in weekly to be weighed and be accountable. They tell me to really watch the sugar, but watching the carbs pretty well takes care of that. I really don't feel all that deprived. I loosen up a little on the weekends too, but I'm right back on the scale on Monday and so far, the scale is moving (slowly) down. I can't believe what a big difference there is when I obey (especially the first 3 rules) these easy guides.
  17. If you don't mind the cost, GNC has the protein pudding (Sylvester Stallone brand) and it is VERY VERY GOOD! It's 100 cals, 0 carbs (no sugar), 2 grms of fat, and 20 grms of protein. It's like a treat for me, I love it. I eat it every morning and for snacks too. Another option is the big jug of 100% whey protein powder at GNC. You make a shake w/ it and skim milk and splenda and a few frozen strawberries and it is yummy.
  18. mercedes

    Types of bands

    Hi, Can anyone tell me what they know about the different types of bands and how they differ? Does anyone know if one works better than another and why? Maybe there is a place where I could have looked this up, but I missed it?
  19. mercedes

    I just feel like crying

    I really had a mind problem with that. But now that I know I do have to "diet" with the band, and have found it to be a game I can win at with the band, I'm okay with it. I'm not deprived or suffering in mind or body this time and that is a huge advantage over my previous self! I hope I continue to see the scale move down now that I found the way to do it with help from that tempermental band. I'm excited to see the results I get in the next 3 months. I'm hoping to be at goal by then.
  20. Sometimes I have good restriction. Sometimes it's not so good. Sometimes I can hardly drink a thick drink and other times I can eat a slice of bread. I just never know if I can eat or not. I am learning that I really have to sneak up on my food and eat slowly and that is the hardest thing to do. Any tips on how to remember to slow it down? This is the biggest reason for my BP's. I am not losing weight but for the first time in a long time I am not yo yoing up and down, dieting and binging, and driving myself nuts. My plan (now that I'm 6 1/2 mos into this and only 4lbs down from my original pre op weight) is to diet the old fashioned way and lose the 25lbs that I'd done this to lose, and hope that at least after all the hard work of crash dieting, I'll not be able to easily gain it back. What do you all think?
  21. mercedes

    I just feel like crying

    Hey Kerri, everything you said is sooo true. I was really having problems not drinking until the last couple of months. I just don't do it. For a while there I was not getting in enough water, but now, every time I'm about to eat I ask myself if I am thirsty. If I am or think I will be soon, I drink and wait 15 minutes until it all goes down past the band and then I eat. I'm restricted enough that I really can't drink anyway with a meal. It will just come back up. Have you noticed that you hesitate to eat hot sicy food now because you know you can't drink? I sure have.
  22. mercedes

    I just feel like crying

    Hi Whoyah, I was having very slow results. I waited too long to get my fills to good restriction. Now I do have restriction, but I was eating around the band and still was not losing (I wasn't gaining anymore after getting the correct restriction though :hat:). I decided that I was going to have to got to plan B and diet. I signed up for the medical weight loss plan at a Dr.'s office that I'd gone to before and lost weight with. I didn't tell them that I have a band. I have to journal everything i eat and I do 1000 calories a day. I work out now at their gym 2x a week. I have to get in 100grms protein, 75 carbs, 25-30 fats, and it is all working now! The band is making it so I CAN go on a diet and not feel deprived. I've lost 4 lbs in 8 days. So maybe a diet plan with accountability would help you too?
  23. mercedes

    flu??

    Have any of you banded people ever had the flu and thrown up? What was it like? I've been just a little sick for the past couple of days and last night I took meds so that I would not barf. It scares me to think of food going back through the band to come back up. I know what it's like to BP but that's not the same as a true barf. So have any of you had a true barf and how was it different from before the band?
  24. mercedes

    do I have enough restriction or not?

    My current fill is 2.2. Sometimes I have restriction and sometimes I don't. My band is just very tempermental.
  25. mercedes

    "First Bite Syndrome" ???

    I too have this exact thing happen. I agree with Mousecrazy too. I know that I'm hungry and I can hardly stand to take the nibbles that I should. I'm also tired of eating cold food : )

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