Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

I need guidance, help, motivation!



Recommended Posts

Hi everyone, it's been awhile since I've been on this site. I really need some motivation and help from all the lapbanders out there that have had sucess. I was banded August 2009, so I am about 15 months out. I have only lost about 60lbs. Now, I am happy with this loss, it's much better than gaining but the problem is that I have not lost any weight since May/June 2010. So, for the last 5 months I have not lost any weight. I have a 14cc band and he has it filled to about 11cc. He told me he does not want to fill it anymore, he tells me I have the most CC's than any other patient in the office. (that really made me feel like crap). Anyways, I know it's my fault. I am overeating! I want to get this weight off more than anything but for some reason I give into food. I still have about 70-80lbs that I need to get off and getting the band tightened is not an option. I know what I need to do, I just need to do it (which I can't seem to do). I am just reaching out to all of you to help me, give me some hints, give me encouragment... I need it. I know I should only be eating about 1/2 cup at each meal and I am probably eating about 2+ cups at some meals. I can not let food control me, I've got to start losing again:(

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hello. I'm recently banded (11-16-2010). However, I want to help you. There are a couple of suggestions I'm going to make. You need someone besided yourself to hold you accountable for your eating habits. Someone who will not cave in to your wants and needs. There are many support groups available. One of my favorite is Overeaters Anonymous. You can go to their site and find a group in your area.

Another important thing is movement. Your post did not say naything about exercise. You need to have a consistent exercise plan. No less than 3 days a week.

Please do not give up on your goal!! You can accomplish it. You just have to remember that this is your life and you need to live it to the fullest.

I hope I was able to help.

Dawnya

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hey Amanda,

firstly hunny let me give you a hug, coz you sound really down on yourself at the moment and that's not good for you.

I firmly believe that restriction is one thing, but changing your mindset is the second half of it, and the hardest part by far. I set myself some guidelines that I employed to get me past some of my hurdles and I won't lie, it wasn't easy to follow them, but I got there in the end. I wrote about it here:

http://www.lapbandtalk.com/topic/119054-i-guess-im-a-success-story/page__p__1530066#entry1530066

Feel free to msg me if you need encouragement or just someone to hold your hand!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

We aren't all completely gung ho about this all the time. Most of us lose motivation. When the motivation is gone habits will kick in (wether they are good or bad). So start developing the habits you need to be successful. Start doing things you did at the begining like logging your food and excercise. Counting your Water. Even if you are not doing 100 % what you should it gives you a starting point to work on. If you had 3 glasses of Water today aim for 4 tommorrow. If you had 2 cups today try 1 3/4 cups tommorrow. I had been stuck from June until last month. I started back excercising on a schedule. Planning meals. I am on a losing trend again.

Make a plan, try your best to follow it, record, improve each day.

The key for me is to make it automatic. I don't make food choices when I am hungry. They have already been made and written down earlier in the week. Also having someone review my food log keeps me motivated to stick to the plan. The nutritionist at my doc office is good about it. I also have fall back plans. If life happens and I end up not having time to cook for me and my family we go somewhere I KNOW will have a wise and yummy choice for me.

I have learned not to expect my weightloss journey to go perfectly. We will slip and stumble just keep going though. Also remember this is something that is achievable and you can be the one to achieve it. I love this quote and it goes along with what I am saying. ‎"The will to win means nothing if you haven't the will to prepare." - Juma Ikangaa, 1989 NYC Marathon winner. Prepare to do it is the first step. Good luck to you and feel free to pm me if you wanna talk more.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thank you all for your posts. I appreciate the words and encouragment. It's been hard for me because I don't have anyone that understands why I did this (had the lap band)... so when I am eating I always have someone saying "Oh you can eat more then that blah blah blah!" I know that I can't but I do overeat, it makes it so much easier for me to fall off the wagon because I blame them, but I know it's myself to blame. I am working on going back to the habits I had for the first year after surgery. Thanks again!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hey Amanda,

firstly hunny let me give you a hug, coz you sound really down on yourself at the moment and that's not good for you.

I firmly believe that restriction is one thing, but changing your mindset is the second half of it, and the hardest part by far. I set myself some guidelines that I employed to get me past some of my hurdles and I won't lie, it wasn't easy to follow them, but I got there in the end. I wrote about it here:

http://www.lapbandta...66#entry1530066

Feel free to msg me if you need encouragement or just someone to hold your hand!

I read what you had to say and it gave me a lot to think about. I feel that your way of doing things might be the right way for me to but right now I am afraid to try it. I am only six weeks post op. Right now I am following the rules to the letter and doing great but I am definitely obsessed with food and my next meal. I believe your way would help to really end this obsession. Another thing I am interested in is the concept of eating only when I am hungry. Right now I am eating when it is "time" to eat at 8, 12, and 6. I have never been able to stand being hungry and to be honest have never allowed myself to be hungry. It is a novel idea and one I might think about experimenting with. I can always go back to the "rules" after a week or two if it didn't work. Thank you for the ideas.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I read what you had to say and it gave me a lot to think about. I feel that your way of doing things might be the right way for me to but right now I am afraid to try it. I am only six weeks post op. Right now I am following the rules to the letter and doing great but I am definitely obsessed with food and my next meal. I believe your way would help to really end this obsession. Another thing I am interested in is the concept of eating only when I am hungry. Right now I am eating when it is "time" to eat at 8, 12, and 6. I have never been able to stand being hungry and to be honest have never allowed myself to be hungry. It is a novel idea and one I might think about experimenting with. I can always go back to the "rules" after a week or two if it didn't work. Thank you for the ideas.

It's funny but we have completely different ways of doing things here in Australia. We never get told to have only this or that many calories, we don't get told to eat low carb or low anything. Just a balance of foods, eat when you're hungry, listen to your body. But I do think there are many ways to get to the same goal, so I don't advocate my way of the thinking as the right way at all. However, if any of it helps you get to where you want to go, I'd be stoked!

Good luck and I hope you find success which ever way you get there.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×