OK... So I had my surgery last year and to date I have lost 80 lbs. Well recently my husband has been having some insecurities. I know I have changed only because I have gotten my self confidence back and am feeling good about myself. But he acts as if I am showing off for other people and that one day I will leave him for someone else. We have been together for 11 years and have been married for 9. All this is causing us to drift apart and it is scaring the hell out of me. I am wondering if I was still fat would he still be having these issues. I just want to know how other are dealing with the weight loss...

I'm going through the same thing with my husband. I've lost 80 pounds too. He was insecure to begin with and me losing weight isn't helping. He is so scared that I am going to leave him for someone else. I've started caring more about my appearance which leads him to believe I am improving my appearance for someone else. When I go shopping for clothes, I try to include him. I ask for his opinion on outfits. I get things that he likes. On a daily basis, I tell him how much I love him and how sexy I think he is. All you can do is keep reassuring him that you love him and that you aren't going anywhere.

I have noticed mine paying more attention to me but he goes through periods like that where he's more "self-absorbed" and then he becomes more attentive. I really do hope it does not affect us at all because I adore him more than anything and he's my best friend in life. He's loved me at 280 lbs and now at 225 and hopefully at 170. (Provided I hit that goal) LOL!

Many years ago, when I was young and thin, my husband told me he liked it when other guys checked me out. It made him feel like he had something special. It was like, "yea guys, look all you want, but that chick is all mine!"

It's all in the attitude and how the guys think about it. Just make sure he knows you have no intention of finding someone new. Encourage him to be happy he has a more attractive wife all to himself!

I agree with the previous replies, you just have to reassure him of your love and commitment. My husband has always been attentive towards me in the past, and I notice that now he's just a little more "protective" of me, like he won't let go of my hand for even a split second lol. I think it's got a lot to do with confidence and self-esteem (hubby is very confident and I find that extremely attractive), and just remember, talk things out with him, this may sound cliche but communication is key. Good luck

My guy (really skinny) decided that he needed to workout and get all muscley so that he can not only feel like he deserves me but he can also beat up the guys who hit on me. :wub:

Well I am 49 and been married 30 years. I have not noticed too much change since losing 75 lbs to date. But then my husband married me fat and over the years have been so many different sizes. I do not think it will effect our marriage in any way. I did tell him please do not tell me I am getting smaller or skinny during sex, that is not when you want to think about it.

Cheri